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Sebastyne

A rock fan. A thinker. A psychic empath and a channel, a Tarot reader. A single polyandrist looking; The lover of men, kings, and gods. An eternal romance analyzer.  A romantic pervert. Generation X Rebel. A psycho-spiritual life coach.

About reading this advice

I am not always thinking about YOU specifically when I write. Obvious.

I am doing my best to give the best possible advice to my readers. However, I cannot help you if you insist that your soulmate is of type A rather than type C because you’re too scared to face the truth. I cannot write each post with the person in mind who is talking about a different type of a soulmate, I need to trust that you have done your part of the work and accurately identified the soulmate type in question.

You are always responsible for any decisions you make based on this information. You need to take into account that I am talking to a lot of different types of people simultaneously, and that makes things confusing at times. Reading a blog is different to receiving personal consultation, so bear that in mind. This information works great for people who are willing and able to study their lives, themselves, the people in their lives and their special lovers with the help of the theories.

These theories are not intended to be used to change or manipulate others into doing what you want. However, what they are here for are to help you to understand other people and what it is that they need from you.

Try not to get too cautious and self-conscious

My aim is to give you lightning bolts: “Oh THAT’s IT! That’s what I’ve missed! That’s what has been wrong with us the whole time!” I do not want to make you uncomfortable and self-conscious or to second-guess yourself the whole time. I am aiming to give you the self-confidence to face your life, your dreams, and your True Spirit Mirror, but sometimes I need to remind people in Partial Spirit Mirror entanglements to be realistic. The truth doesn’t bend to people’s will. No matter how big scarlet letters you’ve used to put a nice title on someone you’ve got a crush on, won’t make them that by simply labeling them so.

The point is NEVER to give you an idea that “this is how I have to be in order to be the right kind for my True Spirit Mirror!” NO. The point is to give you a permission to be exactly what you’ve always been for your True Spirit Mirror, who loves you for being exactly that. (You’ll have to do some minor tweaking for sure, but let them tell you what they need from you, not me. I don’t know who you are and how your True Spirit Mirror thinks, so don’t expect me to tell you that in a post directed to the general audience.)

The entire point of a True Spirit Mirror is that they love you for who you are, and if they don’t they are not your True Spirit Mirror. You DO NOT HAVE TO change for them, you’ll have to find the courage in your beautiful self so you can face them as their equal and their lover.

The kinkster stuff

I talk a lot about kinks and weird stuff to point out that this is the stuff we are suppressing in ourselves. This is stuff you ALREADY ARE AWARE OF or stuff that makes you feel excited to think this might be you. It is NEVER stuff you have to add to your list of chores. The stuff you’re suppressing, your True Spirit Mirror is also suppressing. What you deny from yourself, you deny them. This is the stuff you GET TO DO in your True Mirror Spirit relationship, even though everyone else has rejected you for it.

I don’t care if your thing is to eat shit for lunch if that’s what you’re into so is your True Spirit Mirror. You’d both be relieved you can show the full you to your True Spirit Mirror, even though your relationship advice blogger is laughing at you for doing it! (Clearly, I’m using this example with the assumption that it fits nobody, but I’m sure I’d be mistaken to think nobody is into it!)

I am using extreme examples to give you space to move. When you’re driving through Tasmanian country roads, you’ll see a sign that says: “It’s a speeding limit, not a challenge.” This is a bit similar: Some people are really crazy. Let them be. That’s their thing. If you are that crazy, be that crazy. Be happy to be that crazy. Trust your True Spirit Mirror to love you for it.

If we already know, why all the posts?

The first time I thought about polyandry was in my early 20’s. I wrote a few posts about it, but I have spent no more time thinking about it. It simply came and went. I always discarded that idea because I thought it would be wrong of me to ask my men to just be with me, while I’d have more than one boyfriend. I didn’t know most men don’t really care for female company but prefer male company! IF I had read a post about polyandry then, my life now would be VERY, VERY different. Some of these things are things that you might have fantasised over but discarded because you think it’s lewd or disrespectful, or that someone is going to get hurt. I am giving you the insight to what the OTHER party is getting out of it.

Everyone is different

Each and every relationship type is delicious in it’s own way. I can FULLY understand polygyny on a theoretical level, but I would NEVER want to be in a polygynous relationship – you see? To most women, it’s the opposite. Most men want polyandry, even though you’d be surprised to think that. To some people, the monogamy is their true, god-honest wish… They would never feel “too secure” by just the two of them.

The biggest attitude sift for me at least was the discovery of polyandry. I am completely cool with BDSM and what not, I understand bisexuality and homosexuality, but the BIGGEST discovery FOR ME was polyandry. That is why I keep using it as my example, not because I would wish to recommend it to everyone reading. Your job is to start mapping out things YOU find exciting and take notes. Try to piece together where that kind of a dynamic leads you.

Everyone is different with a different partner

Even though the general note is the easiest to find when you just think about yourself: what would be exciting to you in an ideal world? When you hit the right note, then you’ll find that each one of your partners meshes with you differently. Like Carl Jung said, relationships is like chemistry, you mix two chemicals and you get a different reaction. So even though you’d be certain type with all of your lovers, you will be slightly different with each. You’ll love them perfectly and equally, but differently. This, of course, if you are poly.

Just like with your children, you love them all equally but differently and for different reasons.

You need to be honest with yourself, not with me

The important bit is that you’ll stop lying to yourself. If there is a perfect angel of a being, it doesn’t have to be you. I wouldn’t want to be that if I had the chance to be, I know I’ll have tons more fun the way I am. That doesn’t mean I don’t want to be perfect, I just don’t want to be a perfect angel! “I want a perfect booooodyyy-hyy-yyy, I want a perfect sooooo-houl!”

Abandon all ideas that someone has told you to believe. Wipe the slate clean. What is actually there. What is actually real? Try not to walk uphill before you come to the hill. Everything you need to know is within your grasp right now. What I write about is simply inspiration. If it doesn’t inspire you, don’t read it.

Some of you will find the kernel of truth here in 3 minutes and never need to come back. I hope you’re one of those people, even though that sucks for my audience retention. 😉

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