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Sebastyne

A rock fan. A thinker. A psychic empath and a channel, a Tarot reader. A single polyandrist looking; The lover of men, kings, and gods. An eternal romance analyzer.  A romantic pervert. Generation X Rebel. A psycho-spiritual life coach.

Love is a sacrifice vs. Love is a bliss

The contradiction of values and how to solve it.

Sometimes even True Spirit Mirrors hold a different value in this area. One of them feels he or she needs to sacrifice something for his or her partner, and the other feels they want to give that person everything they want, and also receive everything they want from that person – they want love that is a 100% to 100% perfect win-win.

When the other wants to sacrifice and the other one wants to create a win-win, you have a mess in your hands. How can you give the one you love everything when to have everything they want to lose out on something?

Okay, I’ll give you a very specific scenario.

When your True Spirit Mirror makes the selfless choice and marries someone else

Alex falls in love with Sophie, (these are my favorite two Barbie-dolls). They are completely in love with each other, a full-blown romance. They are perfect for each other in every way. They complete one another.

All of the sudden, Alex starts dating Meg. Meg is a willful redhead that Alex feels a bit iffy about. He fears her more than he loves her, but he feels love is a sacrifice so he introduces his best friend Max to Sophie, and kind of push them into a relationship together.

And Sophie is feeling a bit… WTF?!

What is Alex thinking?

Because he loves Sophie to every inch of his being, she is the perfect sexual match, she challenges him intellectually, she is beautiful and perfect, so he feels he would get EVERYTHING HE EVER WANTED in her. This, to him doesn’t feel like true love, because where is the sacrifice? What is he giving up on to be with her? That is not love, that is pure selfishness, right?

So, he sacrifices Sophie for Meg, and he also sacrifices her for his best friend who he loves more than himself.

In the meanwhile…

Sophie is out in the cold, but Alex is thinking Sophie should sacrifice for him by staying with Max, just like he is sacrificing with Meg.

There is a certain twisted logic to that, right?

Meg feels that she is more important to Alex than Sophie because he chose her over Sophie, but in the meanwhile, Alex is still head over heels with Sophie, and vice versa and both of their partners are secondary in their own relationship.

Does this actually sound romantic to anyone but to Alex?

One possible cure

I am not saying that this is the only possible solution to this situation and it certainly won’t work for all people, but… Love is a sacrifice versus win-win, right?

Well. Sophie is a pretty girl. If she would get into a polyamorous relationship with an openly polyamorous partner, she would probably give Alex his much-needed twist of jealousy, the opportunity to sacrifice.

Polyandry

If Sophie would further up the anti and turn polyandrous, Alex would have to give up on his other women (to an extent at least) and pledge his loyalty to one woman who has several equal partners. Now… That’s gotta hurt so nicely. 😉

In this situation, nobody is being deceived or snuck around on. Regardless, there’s the same feeling of getting it all at the same time as there’s a sacrifice is there. Win-win through a lose(-lose)?

Sophie, at least, had to sacrifice her ego as she admitted to being… A proper slut. :p

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