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Sebastyne

A rock fan. A thinker. A psychic empath and a channel, a Tarot reader. A single polyandrist looking; The lover of men, kings, and gods. An eternal romance analyzer.  A romantic pervert. Generation X Rebel. A psycho-spiritual life coach.

My conflict with “looking for others” and “waiting for the right ones”

Let's just clear something up, shall we??

This, most likely, makes no sense to the men on the ground and is more relevant to the ghosts of the living men I am surrounded by. It simply seems to sink in better if I write it down.

The way I see it, it’s just me entertaining myself while I wait for my guys to get ready. However, this is not how it’s been interpreted in the monogamy and housewifery obsessed world of ours.

Business promotion mixed up with an attempt to get laid

I am trying to achieve several goals at the same time, all of which my spirit companions tend to lump in as one and the same thing. I am a bit more advanced person than just a girl looking for a job and a husband. As my idiotic spirit guides like to over-simplify everything, they cannot draw a connection from building a personal brand, building an audience and building a business, but all they see it as is a desperate attempt to a) get friends or b) get laid.

All my online profiles serve several functions; to make new friends, to make new clients, to make new playmates, and HOPEFULLY, fucking above all else, send a message to YOU.

In business, I am promoting MYSELF much more so than what I am promoting a business model. I am my own business. They are inseparable entities. But that is not what my idiotic spirit guides can wrap their miniature sized brains around. All they understand about business is how to draft a cover letter for a fucking job application and how to dress for the job you want rather than the one you’ve got. Fakes.

Of course, there are cross-overs

I am sick and tired of the idea of trying to promote my business to “business people” and people who think “a life coach” should be dressed up in a dark blue business suit (for the record, dark blue on me makes me look like death warmed up) and always uphold a certain business-like image. In the meanwhile, I’m trying to promote a life coaching business that is largely selling sexual freedom and personal liberation.

How in the name of fuck could I present myself in a tightly fitted business suit never putting a foot wrong from the expectation of a “business woman” and “a life coach” and try to convince people, that by listening to me, you will find your own personal freedom and sexual liberation?! And by golly I am not going to be the kind of a coach who gets to be the LAST ONE to be liberated after everyone else has found their way to fun and games. Fuck that. You follow me, bitches.

I do not wish to make business with anyone but perverts

Therefore, I have decided to aim for the market of perverts, sexually frustrated men who are more than keen and willing to make a permanent life change. Often, their only fear is that they are going to hurt women when seeking sexual liberation. In the meanwhile, women are dying waiting to get properly fucked.

And, as I am trying to convince sexually frustrated people that sexual freedom is actually possible, OF COURSE, I am not going to hide the fact I am more than willing to enjoy my authentic sexuality myself – which is a mixture of romanticism, exhibitionism, polyandry, and all forms of slut-scenarios.

So… I will be frequenting websites that will hook me up with the right people who will hopefully share my content and make a star out of me – a star of a certain description. I still don’t sell anything, in particular, I simply do not have the visitor numbers for it, but I am trying to make a balance between creating a fan base and picking my playmates… And not be too irksome about it.

Speaking of the playmates

To my greatest wrath, I was informed that my idiotic spirit guides (piss off and leave me the fuck alone already) and my periodically less than stellar by their intellectual abilities True Spirit Mirrors have interpreted my “playing while waiting” approach to life as “looking for someone better still” -emotion.

My MORONS of spirit guides have been trying to artificially force the issue of me “appearing ready” by blocking certain types of people and opportunities from me. Of course, I have ABSOLUTELY ZERO intention of becoming one of those meek housewife figures that these bitches are trying to sell me as to my True Spirit Mirrors.

on being nice

I am absolutely NOT a nice little girlfriend you can proudly introduce to your mom, but I’ll wear a flower dress and a fucking fashionator to meet her if you ask me to, but absolutely DO NOT mistake me for that character yourself. And mind you, I PLAY the role of a nice girl to a fucking perfection, but it is nothing but a role I put on when I need to.

And mind you, NOBODY’s expected role is real. What is real is the stuff you’re not expected to be or do but are or do anyway. (Even the nice stuff that you go out of your way with even though nobody expects you to but you do anyway because that’s the kind of a person you are. I have a lot of stuff in that category as well… Just to say.)

Me being naughty or playing with others has NOTHING to do with my readiness to be yours – because none of you is a nice man, either. I wouldn’t love you if you were. I never fall for a guy whose demons I haven’t met yet.

Here’s a little heads up, you dorks.

I expect my men to be treating me more like their whore than their wife, and I will absolutely not have it any other way. In the meanwhile, I shall entertain myself with whatever men I wish, and if you twats expect me to wait for you before you get the privilege of turning me into a slut, you had better been more proactive and timely about your approaches in the next life thank you very much.

While you are there licking your balls, darlings

As it stands, you’ll simply have to get to grips with the fact I fuck other men with pleasure. And other men fuck me with pleasure, simply because your sorry asses are not here yet. I may belong to you, but every day that you hesitate, some other guy is here eating me and fucking me until I scream. Is it my fault if you lack the balls to claim what is yours?

Seriously speaking,

Firstly, about the business and your enormous wealth

I know it is somewhat idiotic, but the true conflict that I am struggling with is the fact I can’t rub two wooden pennies together. I am completely broke, and I know so many of you are insanely rich. I do not have a Cinderella fantasy. I absolutely do not like the idea of having to rely on a man to rescue my poor pitiful ass.

I also have always liked the idea of having been discovered online. The Internet is such a leveler, where anyone can make themselves known, I’ve always loved that idea. However, it is simply not working for me, at least so it seems. I loved the idea of digging myself out of this financial hole and obscurity but it’s not happening.

And I HATE the fact there is such a huge level difference between us, and, at the same time, I have always wanted an over-night success, but I DO NOT count it as “a success” to be rescued by a man. This also drives me to self-promote online, because I do not want to be rescued. I want to be successful by my own right. I believe that is the original reason why we were separated in the first place.  I needed to see how far I could go on my own…

The result: Absolutely fucking nowhere.

and secondly, about “me looking for someone better still”

I am going to be “looking for others” but not because I intend to replace you with something better. I fucking love you. There IS nothing better than you lot. Absolutely humanly impossible to top what I am feeling for you. I have never once hesitated in my feelings for you, never asked myself anything but “are you sure he wants you as much as you want him” and that I’ve not always been too sure about.

I have tried to fall for nice men and good people. I’ve tried to hold my attention on normal men and fit into the normal life. It’s crap. Technically it’s doable, but it fucking eats you up inside.

I’m basically waiting with my bags packed

I will go with you the minute the first one of you show up. I am absolutely 100% free to go, and I will not look back for a second. Simple practical matters that take me one afternoon to sort out. I have kept myself that lose on purpose. I have deliberately tied no ties to anything that I would need to undo if you should show up.

Fucking ignore the other guys. Some of them mean something to me, some of them mean a great deal, but whoever I am chatting with on fucking Snatch Chat means fuck all… And none, in case you missed it, means more to me than you do.

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