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Sebastyne

A rock fan. A thinker. A psychic empath and a channel, a Tarot reader. A single polyandrist looking; The lover of men, kings, and gods. An eternal romance analyzer.  A romantic pervert. Generation X Rebel. A psycho-spiritual life coach.

Let’s discuss the reasons why the early feminists rose to the barricades

And why things are now FINE for women.

So many people are sheep.

The early feminists didn’t fight for every woman to join the workforce or claim that to be a respectable woman you also had to have a job. No.

Feminists were needed for an actual pain

They fought so that women who didn’t have a maternal instinct or who found that there was more to them than a wife and a mother, could have the LEGAL right to take part in the world OUTSIDE the home. They wanted women to be able to CHOOSE FOR THEMSELVES. They wanted to be able to make something out of themselves.

Back in the day, women didn’t have the right to vote, work, start businesses, or even go to the doctor without consulting their husband. No higher education, even knowing how to read was considered going wasted on a woman. What did she need to know that her husband couldn’t tell her? She had the rights of an underaged child, and the father had the rights of a parent in relation to his wife. If he thought she needs a spanking, a spanking was what she got.

Her single possible purpose in life was to birth babies. If she wasn’t blissfully happy in this role, she was deemed mentally insane. Currently, many people still think along the same lines about childfree women.

THAT was the starting point.

Even back then men weren’t evil

Although they were frustrating, men weren’t evil back in the day, either. They considered it their duty to protect their wife from the outside world, and to show her the right way to live, and to guide her in the perils of the world. To do that, people require obedience from those they are protecting, because disobedience means it becomes more difficult to protect those under your responsibility.

The less trust there is, the more tyrannical the “protector” gets. If the child/wife disobeys orders often, the parent/husband uses force to make her submit to his will again – so she’d be safe. Psychologists advised young husbands, that women do not know their own mind even though they seem rational. Currently, women say something similar about men who don’t want babies or to get married… Or men who simply do not function the way the ladies wish they did.

Clearly, this is not the way things were supposed to be. In current times, we are sliding to the place where mothers are expected to protect their children, daughters especially, until the day they drop dead, similarly to what used to be the role of the father and the husband. This is now straining mother-daughter relationships, but that’s not what this post is about.

Culture dictates

The way people think things OUGHT TO BE is the way our current culture and society’s standards are laid out. People’s idea of “ought to be” is pretty much based on the general public’s opinion on things.

Back in the day, the standard, the expectation was that a woman was like one of her husband’s children and that her role in life was to make her husband happy. Now, feminists fear that if a woman wants to make her husband happy, be sexually available for him and so forth, she’ll single-handedly drive us all back to the dark ages.

But what is generally accepted as the norm becomes the norm… People don’t, generally speaking, question the norm.

Women follow women

When the early feminists triumphantly joined the workforce, which, to them, was a natural thing to do, other women started to feel like “they have to” do the same, whether they wanted to or not. As I said, so many people are sheep, and they follow the flock.

On the other hand, the women, to whom working outside the home was a positive challenge, urged other women to take up a job outside the home, too. They thought they were liberating other women, but instead, they were pressuring them to conform to the new norm.

What you think is normal is not

Now, I urge people to try and figure out what is truly right for them. Whenever we decide “everyone has to” do something, we are prone to a) doing it ourselves even though we don’t want to and b) forcing or coercing others to do it too: if I have to do it, so do you. Same in the opposite: If I don’t get to do it, then you can’t do it, either!

Never assume others would want to do what you want to do. There is a beautiful balance to be achieved if everyone would just be honest about the way they want to live their lives. You won’t take a place from someone else if you do what you want to do – you are allowed to pursue what you WANT. You will be, however, taking someone else’s place if you do something you DO NOT want to do. That spot belongs to someone who wants it, not you.

Everything and everyone is wanted by someone for some reason

Similarly, it would be wrong to assume that there are jobs who nobody wants, people who nobody loves, nor situations nobody wants to get into. Trust you me people are incredible perverts for instance. People love pain and suffering – but they also want to be rescued and healed. This is a difficult balance to make, but never force yourself or others to do anything apart from to stop forcing you. That is the only place where using force is a must: When someone else is trying to override your will, you’ll have to push back as hard as it takes… But never force anyone to do anything they don’t want to do.

A little bit of pressure is alright. Sometimes that’s what’s needed to get someone over their threshold of hesitation. However, nobody needs weeks and weeks worth of persuasion, usually one single conversation or meeting will do the trick. Nobody wants to waste the chance of being encouraged to do what they actually want to do by fighting back too hard… People are quick to let go of fighting if they actually want to do what you urge them to do… Often the thing stopping them is the norm or insecurity.

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