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Sebastyne

A rock fan. A thinker. A psychic empath and a channel, a Tarot reader. A single polyandrist looking; The lover of men, kings, and gods. An eternal romance analyzer.  A romantic pervert. Generation X Rebel. A psycho-spiritual life coach.

Try to test your worth to me compared to one of my men and you’ll lose. Every time.

How we prioritize our relationships

There is one thing I hate about being friends with most women. There comes a point when they try and test you and how far they can go with this relationship. They test their own importance to you in the overall hierarchy of your friends.

They do this by asking you to do something inconvenient to you, imposing their opinion or taste on you, perhaps even convincing you to buy a piece of clothing that looks awful on you just to see if you’d do it to appease them or if you trust them enough to do it.

Would you dump him for me?

But the worst part is when they decide to start dogging on your boyfriend to see if you’ll dump them because they don’t like him. If you and your girlfriend happen to be interested in the same guy, another game starts. I suppose the polygynist deal goes that first, you both agree not to chase him because you’re more important to each other than the guy. Then, you both go after the guy and the best girl wins, but not really.

This means that you have to sort of manage the situation, to get close to him but not too close. To make him like you but not too much. Then, you have to make him like your girlfriend, too.

Deal Breaker

No. If you and I are into the same guy, we‘re no longer friends. I like my relationships simple, and they’re bad enough without balancing a girlfriend situation there. Plus, I do like to get close to my men, truly close, emotionally, spiritually, physically, sexually – but I don’t have any need to be close to a woman.

I’ve never continued a friendship to ONE friend after they cross this boundary. I will not have my female friends think they’d be more important to me than ANY guy I’ve ever been serious enough about to go out with. It is not even that I’d see my relationship to the guy lasting, but if my female friend thinks it’s her place to contest her position against a man I’m interested in… She’s not going to bode well.

I also vanish easily when I start dating

I am also one of those people who vanish once I start dating a new guy. I don’t even think about it. I don’t miss my girlfriends, I forget they existed when I’m with a new guy. It’s not an insult, I’d expect any of my friends who start dating to vanish the same way I do. It’s understandable to me. What else would you rather be doing than spend your days wrapped up with a new squeeze?

Polygynist women want to drag the new boyfriend shopping and meet their friends. Polyandrist men want to show her off to his friends. I’ll be hanging out with my boyfriends mates before I remember I’ve got friends of my own.

We all prioritize relationships differently, of course

That’s just me though. A lot of other people prioritize their friendships over the sexual relationships: “Men/women come and go, friends are forever.” I personally think that the man in my life is supposed to be there until death do us part, the friends are there temporarily, as company. I’m not going to rely on a friend to keep me warm at 80, and if I will ever stoop that low, God help me.

Of course, this is natural polygynist behavior from women and polyandrist behavior from men, and as a polyandrist, I want my men to prioritize each other over women. Bros before hoes, right? So I cannot judge women on that behavior as they are doing exactly the same thing as the men I love are, but I do hate the feeling of being wrapped up into the female coalition myself. I don’t judge them for doing it, it’s just that as soon as I sense it happening, I’m out.

Polygynist men and polyandrist women should ride alone

Polygynist men don’t really like other men and their games any more than polyandrist women like playing games with other women. We should keep well away from the people of our own gender unless they are like us. It seems counterproductive, but we understand these relationships similarly, and we simply need the object of our desires make a choice: “Me or my friend?” It’s fine whichever way they go, as long as they have a clear preference.

Polygynist women and polyandrist men do not feel it’s that important. “If I like you, my friend is going to like you too, we think alike” once you cross the border over to conscious polygamy, you won’t even feel weird about it but enjoy it like you should.

However, our kind, we should try our hardest not to make friends with the wrong sort.

Children first?

Because I am childfree I can bring this up as well without having to hold my tongue so my kids won’t get offended.

There are a lot of people who prioritize their relationship to their child above all others. I see this being a categorically the wrong approach, apart from very very special circumstances. If the child is fully healthy, capable individual with normal social skills the parents SHOULD regard themselves the second to that throne… But how often do parents start competing over the right to that top seat!

Jealous mothers in law are already a freaking joke, literally, but how often does a mother need to know they are more important to their sons or daughters than that floosy/bastard he/she is dating? (I don’t think fathers do this that much..? So far. I don’t know about these modern doting dads, at what point do they start taking it as a point of ego to win the competition against their child’s sexual partners.)

Anyway. No great words of wisdom today, just thought I’d post something. I’ve been a bit busy this week, I say proudly as I’ve done some actual manual labor for a friend starting a gym, Little Jim, in Hobart, TAS. I’m so proud of this, I’m going to start calling myself a tradie. I’ll get myself a dog and a ute if you’re not all watching over me.

 

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2 Posts on "Try to test your worth to me compared to one of my men and you’ll lose. Every time."

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Allan Furlong
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I knew a girlfriend of one of my first girlfriends who was like what you described. This is about 35 years ago now. SHe was jealous of me from teh start. SHe was possessive of my girlfriend in a way that I thought was quite abnormal.

Then again…maybe she was just a lesbian! LOL

 

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