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A rock fan. A thinker. A psychic empath and a channel, a Tarot reader. A single polyandrist looking; The lover of men, kings, and gods. An eternal romance analyzer.  A romantic pervert. Generation X Rebel. A psycho-spiritual life coach.

Personally speaking, I want a gentledom.

You know, a gentleman combined with a perverted male dom...

I have never been quite able to put my finger on it, until a conversation I had with a true gentleman. We had already been talking for a while, I’ve known him for a long time, but this was the first time our conversations slipped into the sexual area. We were sharing fantasies, and this time, we combined them.

He asked me to “sit on him”, and I felt reluctant. I hate being on top. So I described how I would be reluctant, and he reacted in complete sync by taking over and domming me to accept his wishes. So, So, So good.

I am easy. I need my men to love easy.

I’ve always been an easy lay.

I have no resistance to men, I love their attention, I love their compliments, I love them sexualizing me and telling me how much they want to fuck me. I hate frills, complications, courting, all of that stuff that women demand men to go through to get there. I love it straightforward. Easy. I don’t even like men taking too long to fuck me. I like sex so, so, so very simple.

Other women do not speak for me

Other women tend to over-complicate matters for me. My men think I’m like those other women. But of course, as we are soulmates, they react to me as something… out of this world, you know. I know I am not like that to everybody, but for my soulmates (of high to extreme connection,) I am magic like all soulmates are to each other. This means they won’t want to screw it up by disrespecting me, and they pull out their guidebook and take me for dinner.

As they are busy hiding their simple sexual mind and polishing it up in their gentlemanly ways, which they are also so so so very good at, I wonder if they even want me that much, because hours pass and he makes no passes.

As I do not make a pass at a man beyond actually talking to him for longer than 2 minutes, and he has been taught not to jump on a girl… We both go home alone.

Someone once said something that has been bothering me for 15 years

She was bisexual, and she told me about an encounter she had with another woman. Her casual girlfriend had asked her to tie her up. My friend had retorted: “Why? It’s not like there’s a danger of you moving!”

We have a word for women like that in Finnish: “Lahna”. Essentially translates to a dead fish. Now… I always had a fantasy about being tied down, and I often faked to myself that I am, in fact, tied down, as in… Not moving. I eventually gave up the whole fantasy of bondage all together, because I couldn’t explain even to myself why I should be tied down when there was no danger of me moving, either… And bratting1)Bratting is the practice of deliberately annoying a sexual partner to make them take you roughly. didn’t seem like the kind of thing I was much into.

It only dawned on me like a few days ago, having that chat, what I needed and what my men needed. I needed them to tolerate 0 resistance. Being RELUCTANT to obey should anger them. I needed the men who absolutely DO NOT like women telling them no. The ones who expect complete and utter submission, and who consider turning away from them or not obeying fast enough an insult and unacceptable behavior.

And I need this to be a natural, real reaction from my men, not pretense.

The nuance, the ability to read nuances

I am a very sensitive personality. My instincts are sharp. I need my doms share the same instinct for everything. This goes together with their instinct of beauty and arts, manners, sophistication, philosophy. They are men who do not shy away from calling another man “a beautiful soul”.

And yet, they need to have a dominant side that rises to match any resistance from a submissive they know belongs to them… Completely.

And then, I need them to share me with their friends

Finally, I need them to love their friends enough to want to share me with them. 😀 Whichever way they want to.

After all, all this really is is about them and their needs.

Let me introduce new terms: #GentleDom #SoftSub

My blog isn’t that popular, but maybe one day this could be a way to connect the dots. I suppose no other explanation would be needed if we all understand each other.

These words would mean the desire for absolute submission from the submissive, most likely a girl. (I suppose it could be reversed, too. If a girl calls herself a gentledom, I guess it’s obvious enough?)

And to anyone concerned…

I am not afraid of men, quite the opposite. If I can handle something in this world, it’s a man. I can give them the cold shoulder and turn them off without having to even be rude if I want to, most of the time. I can also tell them to take a hike so that they’ll feel their balls crawl right up to their throat if I want to. I am, despite all of this, not a shrinking violet.

I do not submit to just any man, they do have to know how to speak to me and how to take me. If they don’t, they’ll face a beast… I’ve never been so much as frightened by a guy or his reaction, ever. Appalled, yes, amazed at some stupidity, but never frightened.

I know men.

Perverted gentlemen who do not insult my intelligence with flowers

The ones I want are perverted gentlemen, who have never bought a woman a bunch of flowers without feeling like they’re sucking up to a woman too much doing so.

I take flowers (and all forms of ‘courting’) as an insult.

“Do you think I’m STUPID or something? This should impress me, really?”

The only time I’ve been cool with it, someone brought me flowers in a completely casual manner, no big deal… And the other time, at first I looked at the bunch horrified about what the hell are you two (twin boys) thinking! After a closer inspection, I saw a butterfly vibrator attached to decorate the bunch and I sighed of relief: “Oh thank fuck I thought you have forgotten who I am!”

That’s all.

Ah. How wonderful you are.

References   [ + ]

1.Bratting is the practice of deliberately annoying a sexual partner to make them take you roughly.

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5 Posts on "Personally speaking, I want a gentledom."

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I like the idea of a gentledom and I would probably consider myself to be in that mold. If I was ever to experience submitting I would definitely rather do it with a gentledomme as well.


I like being in charge but I am happy to admit that the thought of submitting to a woman has been occupying more and more of my thoughts lately. I don’t think that I could say that submitting would come naturally to me, but I am curious to try giving up that control and seeing where it takes me. No matter how it turns out it would prove to be a learning experience.


You are probably right as that does sound quite alluring to me. But ultimately who knows where the rabbit hole would end up taking me.


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