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A rock fan. A thinker. A psychic empath and a channel, a Tarot reader. A single polyandrist looking; The lover of men, kings, and gods. An eternal romance analyzer.  A romantic pervert. Generation X Rebel. A psycho-spiritual life coach.

What happens after we die?

Take it from someone who has died a million deaths...

Some people remember their past lives, some people don’t, but it is quite certain we‘ve all lived countless of lives. Killing life is simply not possible.

Everything living (and quite possibly everything non-living, too) has (or has had) a soul, lacking a better word for it. The reason why “a soul” is a bad term is that people sometimes think it’s a bit like a small-time god, a controlling organ that the person themselves has no influence on. In reality, the soul is what you want, what you wish for, your desires, your lust, your anger, your pain, all of your emotions, the part that makes you want to live or die or wish to do anything. It is your passions, your obsessions, it’s the stuff that guides you and the stuff that makes you feel lost. It is who you are, and without your body, your soul is still shaped like you, often, it’s shaped like one of your incarnations, at least.

What is a soul, what is you, the body, you all understand

The soul, to the body, is like the software and data is to a mobile device. The operating system is your species, the personalized data and files is your soul. Without the soul, the body is simply an empty, useless machine, yet, it is the soul that largely builds that machine in the uterus from the given raw material, as closely as it can. We simply look exactly as we wish we look like, within the limits of our genetics.

We look like our soul. Our body is designed to express our soul. It is like the clothes you pick to express yourself, no different. The species is a limitation to our self-expression, hence the clothes. People are the most diverse species on the planet, hence the need of clothing to supplement the expression of individuality. (EIRTE: People who want everyone to be the same, have the animal instinct of fitting in the species; “we’re all alike”. Human instinct is to be different. To evolve. A Fluid and Solid Thinking thing.)

The soul is not all-knowing god-like “a perfect being”

The soul is not a perfect being. It is a passionate thing. It is a tormented, torn thing that is pulled into different directions by the opinions and beliefs of other souls. It doesn’t know any better than you do! In fact, you ARE your soul, your soul is you, there is no real difference, apart from the fact the soul has several layers of consciousness, just like you are already aware from psychological research.

The part of the soul that we mostly liken as “the soul” is your subconsciousness. Your higher awareness is also your soul consciousness, but you might call it “psychic awareness” or even god if you’re smart enough to fool yourself. That is most likely what we refer to when we say “the soul”, however, it is not all it is. It is your everyday thoughts as well, and, it is also your past life memories, that travel with you in your soul. The brain simply processes this data, and it has its own “physical memory”, but “the cloud storage” is where the data is actually stored.

What is death?

When the device dies or is wiped clean during an accident, the memory isn’t lost, it is… Forgotten. Whenever you enter a new body, you have SOME memory left from a past life, people call it “instinct” or “talent”, or “a knack”. You just know how to do some things. No gift is a gift. You’ve worked for it in one lifetime or another. The people who are now creating computer animations that are visually indistinguishable from the real life probably started out drawing stick figures on a wall of a cave somewhere. They simply adapted what they already know into the new methods of creation.

Death is much like a memory loss. The brain hasn’t got a connection to your past life memories, to begin with. It is possible for a soul to be transferred into a new body with a some past life memories intact, but most people choose to start over, simply because stuff like falling in love for the first time is much more fun if you don’t remember you’ve fallen for this same person a million times before. 😀 Death is really only our wish to do it all over again.

Past life memories and reasons for the current

The past life memories can be accessed if you wish to. They’re mainly hidden because you need them to be. If you are curious about them, and nothing about your life plan is contradicting that wish, you can access them. (Such wishing to experience something for the first time again.) During our lives, we always get these moments of “oh I wish I could do THIS or THAT or, I wish I was…” And the trust of these wishes will become your next life.

These ideas are not necessarily something that seems logical. For instance, someone who has always been rich and well looked after may start wishing to know if they would be able to handle themselves if they were poor and homeless. There is a need for most people to survive on their own, and to make that happen, they’ll be born in a life where nobody helps them.

I, for example

For example, I am currently living some twisted wish of wanting to know whether or not I can make it big without my men or money. The answer: No. I cannot. 😀 The money is not an issue, but the men are. The reason is that I simply do not have the drive for it, as NOTHING in this world matters to me as much as my men do. Without them, there is no point TRYING to make it. Nothing means anything without them. I only live when they are there. So the next best thing: They are with me in spirit only, while I sit alone on my bed trying to work out how to get to them… On my own.

Another reason is, that as soon as I receive help, I subconsciously sabotage what I’m doing, because “I need to do it ALONE.” This creates an interesting problem… Nobody I interact with is allowed to be willing to help me. They are allowed to oppose me, but not help me. I have wanted to make it as difficult as I possibly can for myself to get what I want. Even my men in spirit, are permitted to just be there, but not to help me. They offer the motivation, but nothing else. I need to feel strong, and this is the only way I can feel it: Everything stacked against me, and I’m still pushing. I’m hoping to get over it soon. (Currently, I’m trying to convince people to leave me alone and to stop resisting me, but I am still keeping everyone at bay to not help me.)

Memory of being dead

The death… I have a past memory of being dead. Actually laying in my body next to my husband’s body, as a witch doctor was drying up our bodies for a love potion. I have lived some legendary lives, people, and you’d know who these people were if I mentioned their names. This part of the story, however, is not public. We died the same day very Romeo and Juliette way, I heard him shoot himself and without checking up on him, I took my own life. This was in New Orleans, I’m relatively convinced, and as we weren’t members of the church, we didn’t get a proper burial, but wound up in a witch doctors office.

The lifetime following… I spent with Carl Jung, one of the men who helped me succeed. This lifetime is the best documented one of the ones I’ve lived, and therefore, ironically, I trust its validity more than the ones mostly turned into legends.

Have you ever noticed that the same stories tend to repeat in history? This is because we all want to live our FAVORITE life story over and over again. We make some adjustments along the way, or get a crazy “okay I’ll do something different…”

The soulmate

My oldest and most obvious lover just intercepted: “your stupid need to be everything yourself has fucked up my life.” I laugh, but he’s semi-serious. He is a romantic, and his favorite lifespan is spent in bed with him, and I must agree, that’s what I want, too. He is the one lying dead next to my body at the witch doctors, and even though we met in this lifetime, he pushed me away… Scared me off. There was a feeling of fate so thick that the connection was undeniable, yet, I managed to convince myself he didn’t feel it like he said, just to rile me up, probably.

In that life that ended with him shooting himself, I got my first bout of feminism. I rejected his wish to have children. I became acutely aware I needed to be more than just his wife, and I always was SO fully his wife, that there was really nothing else about me. Yet, I knew I was capable of so much more than just birthing babies and being pretty. Still, I wish I had been more gentle to him, I can still feel his pain from that moment when I told him I didn’t want his children. He felt I rejected him when in reality, I rejected The Others.

The children

I already had children from previous marriages, but to him, I said no. He thought I rejected him when I simply had gotten old enough to want to prove myself in business rather than in the bedroom. And, I am relatively sure I wanted his children, but I had decided not to have any more children after my former husband died. When he, rightfully, took it for granted that we’d have children, I had to shut down the most natural urge I had, cruelly. In my need to protect myself from my wish to have HIS children. I was fighting my own femininity, and in the process, I was cruel to him.

He thought I rejected him when I simply had gotten old enough to want to prove myself in business rather than in the bedroom. And, I wanted his children, but I had decided not to have any more children after my former husband died. When he, rightfully, took it for granted that we’d have children, I had to shut down the most natural urge I had, cruelly. In my need to protect myself from the need to have HIS children, because I was fighting my own femininity, or so I thought, I was cruel to him.

The remnants of ancient times, HIS children

I have had so many children in my lifetime. His children, to me, were always HIS children. I gave HIM children. Every other husband and I had children together, with a relatively low interest in them. With others, the kids just grow up under our care, but with him, they were HIS children. The ultimate gift and the show of lov that I give to him. A very old-fashioned way of thinking and feeling about it, but it’s OUR thing.

In this lifetime, I’ve known I don’t want to have children my WHOLE life. Ever since I heard it was an option, not an event you have no control over, I decided “no kids. Thanks.” When I met him, he made a reference to children, and I thought to myself… “I’ve never wanted kids, but I’ll give you twelve should you want them.” I thought it was too early in the relationship to say that out loud. (I had no idea how much he loves having children. I always thought they were a nuisance to men, and they should be happy to have a wife who didn’t push them into it.)

Our lifetimes are the do it all over again bit

Anyway. I’m just saying that the past lives explain the way we live now. They can be a random string of trying to see what shoe fits the best. The more certain you are about what you want in life, the more certain it is that you’ve done it before. Some people declare what they are and do the moment they learn to speak. Most notably, firemen, police, drivers, sailors, musicians… They tend to want to do it again, in some cases perhaps because they know that lifestyle is going to go away soon, like rally driving. There’s only going to be so long until a car is an old news and then you have to find a new thrill.

Acting, by the way, is an excellent way to relive lives you once lived when you no longer can do it in the real life. I am relatively convinced that Johnny Depp is actually a pirate… among other things. 😀 And Brad Pitt keeps making movies about the second world war… One of his previous incarnation died just in time for him to reach 20 in time for the II World War. (Click that link and have your mind blown.) I believe he survived that war, but that it left him deeply troubled, as he is a deeply feeling individual (although doesn’t look it).

There is no doubt in my mind we all reincarnate

I could give you countless of examples of previous lifetimes. Some those of my own, and those of famous people, but I’ll leave that for a book I will sell one day for a HUGE amount of money. I have NO doubt left about us reincarnating, but the rules that it follows are different to what we’ve been told. It’s neither random or earned, there’s no karma unless you believe there is, you can simply subject yourself to your own rules: “I deserve to be born as a maggot the next life.” Luckily, maggots have a relatively short lifespan…

It’s all good because we have an eternity to spend. You can waste as much time as you like believing in karma or heaven or hell. You can waste as much time as you like staring at a wall somewhere going “ohm” a lot, or you can have yourself killed in a gang war as many times as you’ve got the stomach for it. There’s the option of having your guts blown to pieces right in front of your grieving missus as many times as you see fit, and the greatest danger you will ever face in this world is boredom. Whatever makes life interesting for you is what you get.

And once the Sun dies…

And once the Sun explodes and swallows us whole – who wants to be there, by the way – we’ll have a once in a star’s life cycle opportunity to witness the death of a planet… And then, we’ll all move on. Life goes on.

Next time, I think we need a bigger ball to play with.

But then, there’s one thing. There is nothing protecting us from destroying Earth before that happens. We are fully capable of it, and although we won’t die, and there’s plenty of livable planets out there, even if travel proximity requires disembodiment. It is a scary thing to imagine what we might do to this one. No more home to return to. We’ve roamed this planet for eons, and… I, personally, plan to stay on its surface in one form or another until the bitter end. So many people think leaving the planet is a reward for spiritual practice, they are entirely missing the point. The Earth is the paradise we lost, our physicality is the real miracle, only life is for granted.

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