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Sebastyne

A rock fan. A thinker. A psychic empath and a channel, a Tarot reader. A single polyandrist looking; The lover of men, kings, and gods. An eternal romance analyzer.  A romantic pervert. Generation X Rebel. A psycho-spiritual life coach.

Why do people hate you

There's two thinker types who hate each other - everyone of us has haters, here's why they hate you.

This is a lot to do with self-confidence, self-esteem, self-love, level/type of intelligence, and complexities of the personality, so there is a sense of scale here, rather than an on-off button. Mainly Fluid or mainly Solid is an option. The more complicated and unusual a person is, the more they go towards the Solid Thinking spectrum. A Solid Thinker would never consider themselves “common”, “ordinary” or “easy to please”, even though they’d describe themselves as “Easy going”, “accepting”, and “easy to get along with”, and they are.

Defining Success

The Fluid Thinkers would call themselves successful for having a steady job, and their idea of a good friend is someone to go shopping with. While they might not want to call themselves “ordinary” or “common” either, that is certainly how the Solid Thinkers view them. As the Fluid Thinkers themselves are always trying to fit into the current fashionable or generally accepted ideal of “acting/dressing their age”, which, to Solid Thinkers mean a conscious effort to be common and boring. The Fluid Thinkers, however, get excited about “fashionable people”, as “trendy” is the most interesting a person can be… Or brainwashed, cowardly, fake, as the Solid Thinkers would call them.

Interestingly enough, the people who fit the standard, the “successful” Fluid Thinkers have a hard time swallowing the idea that someone might not like them. They view all not liking them as a form of jealousy, because “they don’t know how to be popular/successful.” Countless of Hollywood movies have been filmed about the mutual hatred between these subcultures, and the Fluid Thinkers unshakable belief everyone is envious of them. They interpret all expressions of anger or aggression towards them as jealousy or envy or frustration at one’s own inability to be like the popular people.

Solid Thinking commitment phobics

If the Solid Thinkers are commitment phobics, the Fluid Thinkers are rejection junkies.

The Solid Thinkers are difficult to pin into a relationship they don’t want, and they are wanted more often than the Fluid Thinkers who are simply more generic type. As the Fluid Thinkers thrive to be like a given standard, they want to be regarded “good enough” by that standard, and they try to blend in with the other adults a lot, where as the Solid Thinkers wish to stand out. This causes the obvious conclusion that the Solid Thinkers gain more attention than the Fluid Thinkers that try their hardest to avoid attention. Therefore the Solid Thinkers are more wanted and are more used to rejecting people than the Fluid Thinkers are, who are happy about anyone wanting to make friends with them or about anyone showing romantic interest towards them as it is a rarer occurrence for them.

The Fluid Thinkers do not understand, however, how the Solid Thinkers gain all that love and admiration towards themselves while not following any of the rules. It makes no sense to a Fluid Thinker to show love and respect for someone who behaves off key, and they tend to explain it away as “simple sexual attraction” which is a factor, yes, but not nearly enough to explain the Solid Thinker’s charisma.

Ironically, the Fluid Thinkers wind up chasing the Solid Thinkers into a relationship, because to them, anyone who is not a standard person of some description is a sub par individual and as such, they SHOULD NOT reject someone who is “the right way”. They chase the Solid Thinker until he or she gives in, or until the Solid Thinker has completely destroyed the Fluid Thinkers self-confidence doing nothing but what they HAD to do; reject a person they didn’t love.

Acutely in need of finding someone they can respect

While the Fluid Thinkers are acutely trying to find someone who would approve of / love them, the Solid Thinkers have an acute need to find someone they could respect and love. The word respect means a different thing to these thinker types, to a Fluid Thinker, respect means more or less the right to say no to sexual advances, where as for a Solid Thinker, respect means the joy they feel when they observe another person’s skill level, knowledge, and achievements. When they say they need respect, they mean they want to find someone who views them as their equal skill-wise, and just as importantly, they want to find someone THEY feel admiration towards.

The Fluid Thinkers simply want to find (or force, or teach) someone to love them. To a Fluid Thinker, love is an action, not a feeling, therefore they believe love can be taught. The Fluid Thinkers are happy to be treated in a certain way, rather than having someone FEEL things for them. They will imagine the feelings on the basis of the way they are treated, as they are not very intuitive. They read things into how people treat them, where as the Solid Thinkers do not care about how well they are treated on the surface, but how people feel for them. They don’t fall for gifts or charity that is given out of contempt or with an ill will, but a Fluid Thinker will think nothing of the actual feeling and simply accept the gift as if it was a sign of love or care for real.

The Fluid Thinkers are prone to believing ANY strong feeling as a feeling of love

While the Solid Thinkers are skilled and precise in their detection of different emotions and nuances between them, the Fluid Thinkers are very coarse in this area. They may interpret ANY strong feeling as love or fear, their ability to identify feelings accurately is still developing on the incarnational cycle. In some sense, they will interpret any strong feeling any which way they see fit, driving the Solid Thinkers absolutely crazy – and not in the good way.

“You can do anything to me if we‘re in love”

Both types of thinkers may well feel this way. The problem is, that the Fluid Thinkers are very often quick to believe the Solid Thinkers are in love with them even when they are not. They often jump the gun. The Solid Thinkers also have a naturally similar idea of what is OK and what isn’t, as they match their own value system with those they love on a high level. The Fluid Thinkers view relationships as something reckless: “I will show you how much I dare to hurt you, so you’ll know how cool I am!!!” This maybe because the Solid Thinkers they often chase for a relationship feel mean to them, so they believe this is a part of a courting ritual. The Solid Thinkers think differently: “I will show you how well I scale between what you love and what you would never tolerate. I will always respect your boundaries, even if you put yourself into my hands.” The Solid Thinker’s goal, with their lover, is to bring them to the cross section of pleasure and pain, but with a Fluid Thinker, they will overstep those boundaries over and over, in their bid to tell them they do not love that person and to chase them away.

The Solid Thinkers think differently: “I will show you how well I scale between what you love and what you would never tolerate. I will always respect your boundaries, even if you put yourself into my hands.” The Solid Thinker’s goal, with their lover, is to bring them to the cross section of pleasure and pain, but with a Fluid Thinker, they will overstep those boundaries over and over, in their bid to tell them they do not love that person and to chase them away.

The Solid Thinkers want to know where the boundaries are so they will never accidentally cross them, where as the Fluid Thinkers want to know where the boundaries are so they can disrespect them and walk all over them. Therefore, it is really difficult for a Fluid Thinker to tell the difference between their sworn enemy and their best friend, something that to a Solid Thinker is a no-brainer.

It could be said that the Solid Thinkers lack a sense of humor when it comes to the way they are being treated, but the Fluid Thinkers lack a sense of humor about the way they should live their lives. The Fluid Thinkers want to fit in and be proper on the surface, where as the Solid Thinkers want to live an obscure life right out in the open. The only reason a Solid Thinker hide is when they think others would attack them if they knew more about them and being disapproved of would be an inconvenience for them. To the Fluid Thinkers, being found out as improper is the biggest fear they’ve got, even if they did awful things behind the closed doors.

Social and anti social

The Fluid Thinkers are a lot more social than the Solid Thinkers. They are much more likely to find people they like and love because their standards are significantly lower than the Solid Thinkers’. Therefore, everywhere they go, they find wonderful people out there, and their biggest sorrow is the Solid Thinkers who don’t like them and who the Fluid Thinkers think are flawed or mentally disturbed for not liking them. They cannot understand what’s there not to like, considering how well they fit the societal expectations and the latest trends – the very reason the Solid Thinkers think they are boring, sheep-people who simply mindlessly go with the flock wherever the flock takes them.

The Solid Thinkers are used to being polite and allowing the Fluid Thinkers to think they are OK. This causes confusion, as the Fluid Thinkers already believe everyone loves them and if they don’t, there’s something wrong with them! They fully believe that they have everything anyone should consider worth loving. The only reason the Fluid Thinker thinks a someone doesn’t conform to the societal ideal or the latest fashion is that they don’t know how to. They have no concept of the kind of thinking that would explain the need to stand out and to express DIFFERENCE rather than the ability to be fashionable, up to date, law-abiding, and a respectable tax-payer; the right kind.

Hating people

The Solid Thinkers don’t hate people for being different, but they hate people for trying to force others into the same mode of behavior as they are, or, as the Fluid Thinker see it, “for trying to help you”. They also hate the Fluid Thinkers for thinking they are better than others while doing nothing original, ever. The Solid Thinkers hate the Fluid Thinkers for this self-congratulating viewpoint, and then again, the Fluid Thinkers hate the Solid Thinkers for refusing their generous help to conform and to be better than what they are now. They see all variation from the median a lack of intelligence, where as the Solid Thinkers see the failure to stand out as a lack of imagination, lack of creativity, and a sign of cowardliness and, also, stupidity. To them, an intelligent person cannot possibly be interested in such mundane and meaningless things as how to dress or what is fashionable and trendy, but that their interests MUST BE more varied than that. The Fluid Thinkers see the same thing as “being focussed on the irrelevant” and “being distracted”.

The Fluid Thinker’s feelings for the Solid Thinkers are very much about needing their approval and being continually rejected. The Solid Thinkers should not think they owe love to someone they don’t love, even though that is the play most Fluid Thinkers put on if they cannot get who they want.

Teen age reveals your level:

As a teen ager, how did you choose your identity?

General Solid Thinker – Who am I? (Philosopher, taps into their subconsciousness for cues on what they already ARE, or what they enjoyed being in the New Solid Thinker phase life times. “Old soul.” Chooses idols based on “you seem to be a bit like me, you think like me, how do you do other stuff”? Keeps changing and evolving all through life.)
New Solid Thinker – Who do I want to be? (Ambition; chooses a NEW lifestyle, subculture, genre etc themselves, rarely uses only one person as a model but combines several idols and sources of information.)
Bored/Anxious New Thinker – “I am bored! When will this end?!” (Has repeated the same ol’ same ol’ too many times over. Finds it boring, safe, and predictable and needs a positive challenge to be remotivated. Low life energy, negative challenges cause them to suicide easily.)
Relaxed Fluid Thinker – What’s the fuss? (They know they can be proper, not stressed, anxious or desperate for a new challenge.)
Master Fluid Thinker – I am acing being awesome! (Fully self-satisfied, relaxed, charismatic, but still “standard”.)
General Fluid Thinker – Who are people supposed to be? (Source: Lifestyle and fashion magazines or parents and authorities. Changes based on what is “age appropriate”, “with times” and with fashion.)
Intermediate Fluid Thinker – I want to be you, teach me how to be you! (Idolizes someone and wants to be like THAT specific individual. May change based on who they hang out with at any given time.)
Beginner Fluid Thinker – Tell me how to be? (“A life style student”, leans onto people near them for guidance. Changes by the company they keep.)
Rigid Fluid Thinker – This is how I’ve been raised! (Adopts a lesson, ideal, principle or a religion, makes it indisputable, and never changes. Close minded, impossible to reason with. Fully believes his or her parents were infallible.)

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