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Sebastyne Messy Post Archive - MAYBE MORE CONFUSING THAN HELPFUL!

These posts have not been checked for a while. They're in all states of a mess. Some are published from a draft mode.

If you are in any way insecure about reading questionnable internet content, this is the last place to look. However, some of you might find these posts helpful regardless.

Your Ultimate Soulmate Relationship

If you haven’t chosen your exact group yet, I urge you to that you do that before reading (and reloading) this page, because I will be describing the ideal relationship type of each personality type and it’s going to be amazing with the group selections done correctly! Then again, if you are still unsure, what’s a better way to figure that out than to browse through ideal relationships!

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Love at first sight, connection of minds, no words required

All Solid Thinkers want to be loved and admired for who they are as personalities, for their skills, their values, their traits, their quirks, everything that makes them different from everyone else. (Fluid Thinkers want to think that everyone is the same and therefore avoid showing love of the differences and they rather pretend they’re not there.) Solid Thinkers want a deep level of understanding with their ultimate partner, they want someone who they can converse with on a deep level and someone with whom they spend as little time as possible explaining themselves and why they think the way they do and cut directly into the depths of the topic at hand.

Solid Thinkers are complicated individuals, and the ultimate rush for them is to find someone who is equally complicated and difficult the same way as they are; apart from knowing that person as soon as they lay their eyes on them. In a recent episode of Silicon Valley, Richard storms out the room on the basis of a conflict between using a tab versus a space while writing code, and that is about as detailed as Solid Thinkers may get (should they give themselves the permission to be that way) about choosing their ultimate partners. Some things, to them, are of ABSOLUTE IMPORTANCE, even if they themselves haven’t understood how ridiculous it was, and that level of similar thinking, between true soulmates, functions as if it was an encoding that will let only the Right One into their heart while stopping everyone who is wrong at the gates of it. When a person is looking for their soulmate, the one they know from previous lifetimes better than they know the back of their hands, a seemingly small detail about someone else is simply a realization that “that’s not him” or “that is not her”, similarly to finding a tell-tell-sign of a 14-year old child you lost as a baby, you find no birthmark where a birthmark should be, and even though that makes no difference in itself, you still want to keep looking, because that is just not him or her.

For all Solid Thinkers, sexuality is a major deal in their relationship, EVEN IF they were asexual, which, for a Solid Thinker, as an ideal, would be very unusual. Fluid Thinkers, by contrast, would view a mildly sexual relationship as the superior form of love while to Solid Thinkers that way of thinking is not only foreign but also highly depressing. Solid Thinkers should always trust the sexual attraction when choosing a partner, they will NEVER be happy in a relationship that isn’t truly sexually satisfying and for a Solid Thinker it is, by every measuring stick, better to burn out the desire quickly than attempt to go into a relationship trying to break duration records rather than intensity records. The ultimate Solid Thinker relationship will burn at a hot flame from the day they meet to the moment they will pass on, and I truly mean that, and they should never be coaxed into believing that a mildly sexual relationship is in any way more valuable to them than a truly passionate one.

Solid Thinkers are more than capable of falling in love at first sight. They are very sensitive to another person’s spirit and their personality, even when they do not consider themselves to be psychic in any way. What Fluid Thinkers call “physical attraction”, to a Solid Thinker is truly the instant understanding that this person is truly made for them, and that they are exactly what they have always been looking for. Some can instantly recall past lives with someone who they’ve known in a previous life, or they experience that kind of a sensation even if they didn’t believe in such things, they simply say “I feel like I’ve known you forever”. But even those of us who do believe in soulmates, we can also feel an instant connection, a perfect sense of compatibility to someone who we feel is a complete stranger in all senses of the word; someone who we have never met even in another lifetime.

To Solid Thinkers love is an emotion, a free-flowing reaction to a specific individual, a delightful chemical imbalance of the brain. A Solid Thinker who truly falls in love for another person will never part with them; their spirit will always be connected to the other, and they are people who feel true friendship is “picking up where we left off” even if years had passed in between.

Their ideal relationship is a complete meeting of minds; intellectually, professionally, ideologically; even though they love nothing but being shown a BETTER, more advanced way of thinking by someone who they respect; they are open-minded to new ideas and ways of thinking, and they truly want to surround themselves with people who challenge them to become the best version of who they can possibly be, and that best version always comes from the inside, not as an outside expectation.

A Solid Thinker should never form a relationship with a person who doesn’t give them a natural high every time they meet… At least unless they are  polygamous and have learned to sense potential…

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Two is company, three is a crowd; and we are the only two people in this world

For a Solid Thinker Monogamist, the rush of the idea comes from the exclusion of all others. It is a little bit of a… pardon my language, “fuck you” to everyone who IS NOT a part of this relationship. It is an us-against-the-world type of an affair, “we are the only two people in this world”, it is not a try, it is the only way it CAN be for you. As a Solid Thinker, you should never force yourself to TRY and be faithful, if there is anything forced about it, you are either not in the right relationship or you are not truly monogamous, one or the other, true monogamists will always find it the most exciting way of being, and it is sexually amazing for them as well.

Your ideal One and Only is completely incomparable to everyone else in your mind. If you cannot make up your mind about who is your One and Only… Again, not a true monogamist or you haven’t found The One yet. I keep reminding Solid Thinkers to make sure they are actually monogamous because the ideal is so ingrained into us all, that it is easy to think it is either the only possible way of living or we feel the ideal is truly our own when it really isn’t. The choice, to a Solid Thinker Monogamist is not really a choice, it is simply the way it is because this person is who they are, and you cannot help but to love them, and there is nobody else in the world who could compare to this one person.

A Solid Thinker Monogamist who has found their One True Love, no matter if the love seems unrequited, there is no going back. For someone of this type, if you are not together with The One You Love, there is no point for you to try and fall in love again because there is No Other Way For You than them. You will have to put aside all fighting and accept that your life will be spent without a permanent relationship unless this person changes their mind… And, hopefully, they will.

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And she quivers in his touch…

The Androphile aspect to the ideal relationship of a Solid Thinker Monogamist brings about the dynamic of male dominance. He is the dominant, she is the submissive – and we are talking mainly sexually here. Solid Thinker lovers are always seeking for their equal in every other sense except sexually, and in that, the dynamic can be fiercely submissive/dominant. In an Androphile setting, the one thing that is for sure is that he takes the lead and she follows, she loves the idea of “being taken”, he is the fiercely sexual, masculine dominant male of the romance stories, the one that gives her a high by just the way he touches her. Like the Gynephile male gets his pleasure out of her pleasure, an Androphile woman gets her pleasure from his pleasure; but she needs him to take that pleasure for himself, while a Gynephile man will work hard to give her pleasure. (Should a Gynephile male try to give sexual pleasure to an Androphile woman, she would be bored to tears while getting nowhere orgasm wise without filling her head with fantasies of rape and abuse effectively removing herself from the actual act into her fantasies.)

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She is truly a queen among women

The Gynephile variation of the same turns things over its head. She is the dominant one whose sexual needs are being met by him. He gets his kicks out of the idea of giving her multiple orgasms, and, perhaps, after that, walks away without even needing to give himself a release. Even though she is dominant in a way, he still dominates her orgasms, giving them when he likes, and making her wait when he chooses to; prolonging her pleasure. Although a LOT of Androphile men have learned to enjoy this idea through social pressure, they will truly get their release only when they have the full permission to use his woman for his own sexual pleasure with little or no regard to hers, but a true Gynephile man does this naturally; he truly gets his pleasure out of her pleasure. A Gynephile woman with an Androphile man would feel violated and disrespected, and she is the source of the stern belief that all women feel the same way about being sexually objectified, although a true Androphile woman cannot reach an orgasm without at least imagining some form of sexual objectification, that makes her feel superior to all other women – curious, isn’t it?

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Polycuriosity will never kill the ca… catep… hmm.

The Polycurious Solid Thinkers should probably know that they are quite likely Polygamous by their true nature. At this stage, it is simply a question of figuring out WHICH alignment works the best for them, and therefore, all of the polyrelationship posts are included in your selections here. One of the reasons polycurious people cannot make the leap is that they simply cannot visualise what the actual relationship would look like, or they cannot give themselves the permission to actually want what they want because it feels selfish or abusive to the other partners. The main thing is to understand how the other parts of the equation think, and you will find that polygamy is not only fiercely sexy, it can be truly incredibly romantic as well. See what gives you the biggest high as an idea:

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The sexy twist to “Friends”

As a reminder, I use the word “polygamy” or “polygamist” in reference to a permanent spiritually driven true connected relationship between several men and several women, rather than the general term that encapsulates all forms of polygamy. This is because the word “group marriage” simply doesn’t sound right. Other people may use the term as a generic term or as a reference to a polygynous (MFF) form of polygamy. So, in my world, “polygamy” refers to a MFMF -relationship; about an equal number of both genders.

What is incommon for all Solid Thinker Polygamists is the realization that they cannot help or limit who they love. They have stopped fighting against their natural feelings and allow the love and admiration, and the connections that they feel to truly flow into them without resistance. All Solid Thinkers of all bends should free themselves from the idea of limitations of numbers or genders and simply go with how they truly feel. (And know that if it is not your thing, you won’t feel turned on by the wrong gender or the wrong person even if you allowed yourself to – if you do, then it’s not the wrong thing for you.) As a Solid Thinker, you would do wisely to consider yourself a Polygamist by default rather than a Monogamist, because as such, you will discover your most heightened connections naturally, and you will stop TRYING too hard.

Solid Thinkers should also stop protecting their relationships and the relationships of other Solid Thinkers (if and once they learn to tell them apart from the Fluid Thinkers). To a Solid Thinker, a marriage should mean: “OK, we trust our relationship so much that you can now freely try and hit on either one of us and see if you can take us away from each other” rather than “oh we got married, now keep a respectful distance to us because if someone tries to get in between us, they will certainly be able to because we are so unsure of our connection”. Solid Thinkers love a challenge and competition anyway, and they love feeling special, and they also respond really well to the “may the best man win” idea. Once you find yourself in such deep love with everyone you are with, that no matter how much anyone wants to pull you out of the relationship you simply won’t go, and no matter how many partners you have, you will always go after the ones you truly want, although for a Solid Thinker it TAKES A LOT OF CERTAINTY to feel that you are PERMITTED to go after someone! Solid Thinkers always value and respect FREEDOM over anything else, and the last thing they want to do is to give the other person the impression that they are forced to stay with them, they will never attempt to persuade the other to stay by threatening suicide or other such thing, but a Solid Thinker should learn to play a little. Fluid Thinker ideals have forced Solid Thinkers to take relationships too seriously, because to them, the ideal relationship is absolute fun and excitement. And to make that happen, SERIOUS needs to go out of the game and FUN take its place. And as such, learning to risk to draw the shortest stick when playing for the love of a special someone is something a Solid Thinker simply needs to learn to do for their own good!

Speaking of the short stick, however, Solid Thinkers do have a very sensitive run reflex. They are ALWAYS worried that they might come off desperate or needy, or that they are forcing someone into a relationship with them, or that they can’t take no for an answer (a Fluid Thinker quality that Solid Thinkers loathe to no end) and therefore they are prone to backing out of a game of love too quickly and too gracefully. Men especially tend to choose for the girl, because they, as Solid Thinkers, are too aware of their failures as a man; their dark side, that they tend to decide that the girl they love the most deserves someone better than they are. This form of chivalry has broken so many Solid Thinker girl hearts that you wouldn’t believe.

The relationship between several women and several men in the Solid Thinker ideal is formed between PURELY Solid Thinker partners or very carefully chosen Fluid Thinkers, who are the kind that the Solid Thinkers in the group would be happy to have around from this day to eternity – Fluid Thinkers only come into relationships, they never leave, therefore, if you, as a Solid Thinker, suspect you might be getting too close to a Fluid Thinker you do not adore, run like hell, even if you are polygamous.

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In the evening, the roulette of which man it was going to be tonight…

The Solid Thinker Polygamist Androphile relationship will ideally work as such; Sexually, the women are the men’s toys and sex objects. I must stress this; An Androphile woman LOVES this idea perhaps more than the men do initially, as, again, men are so conditioned to hate other men who would dare to think that way, and therefore they would deny their own tendency of thinking this way, too. However, we are what we are, and the quicker we accept and know that there are others like us, the better. The women in this relationship find it exciting to not know who will take them next, and the men will find it mind blowing that they get to choose whomever they want to have next – provided they can get to the girl they intended before anyone else.

To turn this over the head, the Androphile relationship could be about gender equality in the sexual sense – whoever is in the mood at the time can make a move, but then the men would be in charge of everything else in life; the work, the household, the money, the decisions, the upbringing direction for the children and so forth.

The Androphilia, whichever way it turns allows equality between the partners as a default, but if there is an element of a power play, the men would take the power position as a mutual preference and “natural order of things” as they’d all feel, over the women.

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If the girls are happy, the boys will be very, very happy

Now, I must admit that the Gynephile aspect of everything is a little bit of a vague area for myself, I feel like I am one of those Little Britain characters, Emily and Florence, the unconvincing transvestites who simply state “they do ladies things… and shit” when asked what does it entail to be “a lady”. So you will have to take any cues you can get out of this and figure this out for yourself much more so than the Androphile variety that I have a lot better handle on due to my personal alignment. However, I’d dare to suggest that in the Gynephile modality the Solid Thinker Polygamist relationship is sexually equal between men and women – whoever is in the mood calls the shots, while otherwise the women are in charge, and the relationship is very much geared towards the needs of the children and the family. It is a strong possibility too, that the relationship would be sexually dominated by the women, leaving men into the passive role waiting to be crawled all over by the girls that they love.

As Solid Thinkers, no relationship worth having is non-sexual though, so there will be a sexual aspect that works for all partners, whichever way it works. As this is a relationship with more than one woman in it, there is a consideration of the role of the children in it, the same way as in polygyny, whereas in a polyandrous relationship children become a slightly less of an influence and disappear into the mix a lot more.

As Gynephiles, these relationships do function on the expectation that the women need to be happy, if the girls are happy, everyone is happy, and whatever form it takes, it comes from the women rather than the men, whose primary joy is to make women happy.

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The girls had always been friends, they were closer than sisters, and no man would ever come between them again; they would find a man to bind them together forever

If we assume that the Universe is arranged perfectly and it looks like it is, by a simple function of mathematics we can find that most women, in their authentic state, are Polygynists.

Polygyny can be something that a naturally Polyandrist man will easily fall for – but naturally Polyandrist women would not touch in a fit. (Polyandrist women might successfully live in Polygamous and Monogamous relationships, but they would want to kill themselves in a Polygynist setting.) I will first make sure that you are not a Polyandrist trying to deny yourself here before I go on further; A Polyandrist man would find it tempting to deny his alliance with other men to be of a sexual nature, and because Andophiles will always want to impress another man, one of the ways is to have oneself a lot of girlfriends, or wives, who he treats as status symbols rather than actual, real human beings. A Polygynist man loves women. In both Gynephile and Androphile setting, the Polygynist male will be bored in male company, he finds it absolutely mind-numbing to listen to other men go on about the stuff that men find so exciting, because he is wishing to be either be drowned in female attention (Androphile) or be sitting with women having a heart to heart about their children, their boyfriend troubles, and whatever the girls need to talk about (Gynephile).

A naturally Polygamous man would easily choose Polygyny simply because he hasn’t thought about the idea of another man in the relationship and how it would make him feel. The same, really, goes for the Polygamous woman.

However, a naturally Polygynous person of both genders feels drawn to female company. I must, again, inject, that Polyandrous men can be VERY popular among women, but deep down, what they enjoy is the slight heartbreak they cause to these women when they are leaving. The Polygynous men feel better among women, they feel freer to be themselves and they feel freed from the eternal competition with other men.

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The girls wanted to give their man more girls than any other man had ever had…

The Androphile variation of a natural Polygynist male loves to be the centre of female company. He revels in the excitement he causes the girls, but he truly, deeply loves all of his girls and he couldn’t choose between them if his life dependent on it…. once he has found the right girls, of course. He looks at his women and he feels joy and love, but just as much as that, he is the centre of their attention, and he is the one in charge of sexual contact. The women are HIS sexual objects, even though the girls find him attractive to the extreme. The girls get a high of elevating their man above all men by giving him all of their attention and love, and they feel that the more girls this man can have for himself, the better it is for the buzz for them all. They feel that if they fail to give their man as many girls as he can handle, THEY have failed as girlfriends, and they have let another man win. However, as Solid Thinkers they do not simply add to the numbers, the love and adoration each of the women feel for this guy MUST BE real otherwise, it doesn’t count for anything in their minds. The girls are MUCH MORE TURNED ON by the idea to be BRINGING more girls for him than allowing him to run from one girl to another, although that is more than possible in some setting.

The Polygynist Androphile girls who are attempting to live in a monogamous setting are SUPER TURNED ON when they realize their husband is cheating on them. They maybe fighting this instinct and they maybe ashamed of it, but they are always excited to feel that they can’t really control or command their husband. The Androphile Polygynist man is also very prone to cheating. (Much more so than a Polyandrous man would be, and their reasons are different, too.) The irony is, that a Polygynous woman will instantly respect her husband more for cheating on her, whether she likes to admit it or not. He is just many times more exciting than a loyal husband would be. (Loyal men are a thing that a Polyandrist woman will not even demand, she expects her men to be loyal, and if they cannot be, she will turn off in an instant. This has created an illusion that all women should feel that way, because Polyandrist wives in a monogamous marriage will scream at the Polygynist wives to not TOLERATE that kind of behavior from their man because they can’t understand why she would not divorce him and cut his cock off while she’s at it for cheating on her!) Polygynist Androphile women, however, feel a rush when cheated on, and, the closer the woman that is the other half of the betrayal, the bigger the rush.

The ideal state for you, if you are aligned this way, is to have a group of best girlfriends share a husband between themselves. Women who have a very close girlfriend already (or, to be really controversial, a mother or a daughter!!) should be looking for a man to share between them, and then, they should be looking to be feeding him more women once they all feel fully satisfied. If you’re a girl, think about your best friend and how INCREDIBLE it would be to hit on a guy to make him yours, rather than worry that this guy might cheat on the one that got to him first… With the other friend… As it often happens. Forget about the guilt, though, and feel the rush of excitement, it is as awesome as things get for you!

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They all loved everything feminine, their bodies, their minds, their souls… And they simply wanted all of the women to be overflowing of pleasure

Let me put it this way; A Polygynist Gynephile woman is very likely just an inch away from being a full-blown lesbian, and that a heterosexual variation of the same can switch to lesbianism and find it very difficult to switch back, even for their authentic male partner if the identity is assumed deeply enough. However, let’s stick to bi- and heterosexuality for the time being;

This is the most female-loving aspect of all variations available, including the Fluid Thinker variety, that can be more an illusion of this than the real thing. This relationship type is about the worship of femininity and the man in the relationship is the protector of his women, and the provider of theirs, even if this didn’t mean he was the only one with a source of income. It means, more to the point, that he has the kind of “I can fix it” mentality with his women, that he simply knows how to make things right for his girls, and he does it without much of an effort.

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She couldn’t help it, men simply flocked to her, all of them… Everywhere.

The Solid Thinker variation of Polyandry is a dangerous pitfall for a natural Polygynist. Polygyny, as in creating a committed, permanent relationship to several women at the same time, is a little bit of a controversial form of a relationship these days. Both Polygynous men and women feel really awkward about it, much more so than Polyandry, that, as a result of the rise of feminism is seen as the mode of living that is empowering to women – as long as it is female dominant (Gynephile). That is why, when the thought of turning to Polygyny first enters a truly Polygynous guy’s head, he is likely to block it, deny it, and, to prove his love for women, turn into a Polyandrist instead. That is why I will be bringing this up even though I know you picked the Polyandrist -variation of the texts.

When I hang out at Polyandrist Facebook groups, I notice one thing over and over. The couples are much more likely natural Polygynists than actually Polyandrists! The symptoms are, that the men are doing some kind of a repentance for the entire male gender by allowing his woman to have more than one man to herself, while she is delivering the punishment of it by doing just that. Neither one is happy, but they both feel it is necessary in order to restore balance into this world.

The idea of having multiple wives all to oneself, to any guy, would probably sound good at first: “well who wouldn’t want to have all those women to themselves, that would be ideal!” but when a Polyandrist thinks about it a while longer or actually tries it in practicality, they will quickly feel exhausted about having all those women around at all times. A Polyandrist guy would perhaps gladly have these women available for himself sexually speaking, but he won’t be available for the women emotionally, leaving them all to themselves while he is not in the mood for sex. A true Polygynist man would be. To a Polygynist, nothing is as enthralling as female company.

Now, the second pitfall is that the men who actually DO love the idea of being constantly surrounded by women feel that they are absolute swines for wanting that, and that they truly deserve their testicles to be cut off for even thinking of suggesting a polygynist relationship to a woman that they love – because a Polygynist man really truly adores his women, and a Solid Thinker, a man or a woman, would never want to hurt anyone they love by their own demands in the relationship. (Solid Thinkers are well equipped to enjoy sodomising others, in both good and bad however…) So, it is VERY LIKELY that a man who is a Polygynist would switch over to the Polyandrous side just to make sure he can make ONE woman happy with another guy, when he truly wishes to make several women happy, and is much better equipped for that task anyway, because he will be bored with just one woman, and doesn’t understand the thinking patterns of a Polyandrist woman anyway, and is always trying to treat her “like a woman” when she is very much a different breed entirely to the average woman.

The Polygynist woman would find it difficult to accept that she is one of those women who would share a man with another woman. That might make her feel like a less of a woman, and because the monogamist society has forced her to always be in competition with other women, or be in competition against men who she sees as being sexually oppressive, the last thing she wants to think is to say that “I want to allow one man to get away with having several women, and I will be one of them!” The ego gets in the way, and she decides she is one of the “cool” Polyandrist women instead.

When a true Polyandrist woman first thinks of Polyandry, she will probably feel similarly to a Polygynous man; “Too much for one person, too selfish, what guy would go for that?” and stick with monogamy. Polygyny would make a Polyandrist woman want to cut her wrists, but she can quite happily live in a Polygamous relationship with several men and women alike. She will have to get inside the guy’s mind to understand why a guy would go for that, and what makes it a working partnership for everyone concerned.

When a true Polyandrist guy, particularly of the Androphile variety, first comes to think about Polyandry, he probably feels like an absolute pig for having an idea of “a gang bang” or “a hot wife” or some type of a cuckold -scenario that he feels is completely degrading towards women, and quickly puts that out of his mind as a plausible real life scenario, especially in regards to a woman that he actually loves and respects. Once he understands that the woman that is perfect for him is similarly aligned and enjoys her part of the game, he will find it impossible to say no to Polyandry… Particularly after he meets the exact right woman.

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All she really wanted him to know was that he could be all the man he wanted with her, she would never fear… Him nor his friends

A true Polyandrist Androphile loves the idea of being surrounded by men at all times. They play with men, they live with men, they work with men, and they… enjoy their sex more when combined with male energy; Polyandrists, both men and women, particularly the Androphilic variety, will ALWAYS want to impress (other) men with everything they do. Women and their opinions count a fraction compared to the man’s opinion. Because a natural Polyandrist enjoys male company, of course, they want to be as interesting as possible in the eyes of men. Now, sexually, for men, this means that being linked to another guy who they truly feel a connection to, also enhances their own sexuality. Being “the best friend of” some amazing guy makes a Polyandrist man feel twice the man he would be alone, the other guy’s sex appeal sort of rubs off on himself, too, and why not, they will need to team up to attract that one woman that they will regard as being superior to all other women.

Polyandrist men will find it difficult to connect with women, so they tend to treat them a little bit as sexual objects, and distance themselves from the women emotionally, but here’s the kicker; the Polyandrist woman LOVES being their sexual object, but at the same time, she is their intellectual, emotional, and professional equivalent, someone who they can TRULY respect in all aspects as a human being; not “for a girl” but compared to anyone they can think of. “She’s a good bloke”, “She’s got balls” and remarks of this kind come from Polyandrist men for a seal of approval, and no matter what feminists say, the Androphile woman, in particular, will take this as a compliment rather than as an insult toward her own gender.

There are two types of fetishes that relate to Polyandry apart from being committed relationships, these are like monogamous Polyandrist adjuncts rather than real Polyandry; A hot wife relationship and cuckolding. The Androphile variety belongs in the hot wife group; She is being passed on from a man to man, and she submits to their wishes and desires. The hot wife idea will easily work in true Polyandrous situation as well; She is an active object; she deliberately tries to do her best to see her men lose their senses over the idea of having her sexually. If a true Androphile Polyandrist woman would dare to admit it to herself; one of her true wishes in life is to be able to turn men on and to pleasure them into great heights just seemingly doing… nothing to achieve it. Often Polygynous women ask this type of women help in their male-relationships because they really seem to do nothing to drive their men insane for lust and love for her, but when the Androphile woman tells the girls what she actually does, they are not going to be willing to follow suit…

Sexually speaking, the Androphile woman of this type is likely to be entirely too respected by men because she enjoys the sexual objectification and being taken “by force”, or when she is “not in the mood”. The reality is, that she is always in the mood for a man who will not ask her for permissions; she will ignite for him within seconds of the connection IF he allows her to feel his desire without shame and blockages. She wants her men to unleash themselves on her, and ideas like being woken up from deep sleep to being taken or being “forced” into sex during an argument are all massive turn ons for an Androphile woman, and clearly, stuff that a Gynephile would sue you for everything you’ve got.

Romantically speaking, it is entirely too common for a Polyandrist woman to be widowed several times in a lifetime because her true soulmates will die on her in order to give way to another one of her soul-bond husbands. I suggest, that it would be best if love would be allowed to flow freely despite numbers, and allow the men to stay alive even if they all loved the same woman…

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The men would give their life for her, whatever she asked for, for she was their queen

The Gynephile variety of a Polyandrist female would be embodied in the character of Daenerys Targaryen, The Mother of Dragons of Game of Thrones. She LEADS the men, she is clearly the superior to the men, who submit their lives to her service. In return, she respects her men, and she should, if this character was free to follow her true nature, reward her favorites with a sexual relationship with her, but as monogamy strikes again, she is married to one man at a time, forcing her lovers to die so that she will be able to rebond with another man… Unfortunately a scenario entirely too real for both Polyandrist varieties of women; the black widow -arc type has to do with the fact that Polyandrist women are forced to live in a monogamist society and her men would rather die young than to spend a lifetime without her, or force another one of their loved soulmates to do the same; “I will die so you can love her after I am gone.”

Unlike the Androphile variety, the Gynephile men will wait to be given sexual attention by their wife. They may approach her, yes, but they will never take her without her specifically allowing it. Compared to the Androphile variety, the Gynephile woman is very graceful sexually and doesn’t take to rough handling very well.  She does command (command, not demand) respect from men, and even an Androphile man, who would be rough and “dark” with his authentic counterpart, will leave her alone instantly upon sensing she is unwilling, out of respect for her, but also because this is the wrong modality and they are turned off by her aloofness.

The Gynephile men enjoy the yearning for this woman, who they feel is superior among all women. His thrill comes from showing devotion and loyalty toward a woman he cannot control or have whenever he wants to, and in a monogamist society, this need to show loyalty and devotion is often channelled towards serving in the army or a God, and both Gynephile and Androphile variation of the Polyandrous men can do that, the Androphile slightly more likely to channel their services to the army and the Gynephile to God. The Androphile men are, however, more passionate, and their devotion to God may suffer when there is no religious war to fight. To be fair, there is a lot of crossover in the Gynephile and Androphile male variations, but the difference is much more important and clear in women… I think.

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The way to true commitment

The common thing for all Fluid Thinkers is that they want commitment over anything else in a relationship. A Fluid Thinker, to be completely happy, simply needs to find someone who has a secure income or a reliable education that can be counted on to bring about work or employment, he or she needs to be a good, well-adjusted citizen who is willing to make a true, lifelong commitment to them. This sounds like a pie in the sky, and that is because a lot of Fluid Thinkers are looking at Solid Thinkers for partners because Solid Thinkers are self-confident and the Fluid Thinkers interpret this the wrong way. The Solid Thinker confidence is not born out of stability, or meeting people’s expectations, it is built upon the fact they don’t care about those things, and they no longer fear for their survival; their trust of their capacity to cope with any situation brings them confidence; I can survive any tragedy that I am faced with, so they are free of continual worry, and they simply live for themselves by their own rules. Therefore, they have no reason to feel insecure. A Fluid Thinker easily interprets this that they are well educated, wealthy, and have a secure income – an assumption that couldn’t be further from the truth with most Solid Thinkers that are not filthy rich.

The Fluid Thinkers would do wisely to stay as far away from Solid Thinkers as they possibly can – they are profoundly unreliable and unwilling to make sacrifices for a relationship. They are difficult to deal with and non-compromising, and they tend to have dreams that can take decades to fulfil, leaving them to financial difficulty for a LOT longer than Fluid Thinkers who usually secure an income and a social status well before they reach 30. Solid Thinkers live for ideas, fun, excitement, and experiences, and they usually do their best to avoid steady employment – which is a real nightmare to a Fluid Thinker. All of this is also not an insult to a Solid Thinker, they will gladly admit all of this is true, even if they would feel a little apologetic about the fact. They know their flaws and failures, and even though they are not stupid, they are simply unwilling to change their ways, and even when they do make changes for the better, they make them begrudgingly, half-heartedly, and also, most likely only temporarily to appease the Fluid Thinkers, and as such all positive changes in the Solid Thinker should be considered temporary and superficial, and profoundly unreliable. They will not stay alone for long, however, because they are quick to move on and make new friends and connections – if they want to – they are also often quite anti-social and prefer their own company to the company of others.

That said; the first rule of dating for any Fluid Thinker is this: Find out if this person is a Solid Thinker, and if they are, run like the wind! It would be wise for a Fluid Thinker to also avoid Solid Thinker friends because Fluid Thinkers make a lifelong connection to others but the Solid Thinkers rarely appreciate that, and they can leave you alone and brokenhearted and they do not value your efforts to salvage the relationship.

Fluid Thinkers love tradition and they thrive to be upstanding members of the society. They value public approval, whether someone else or themselves enjoy it; Fluid Thinkers consider it a type of an intelligence test to conform to society; with so many valid options, there is really no excuse if you can’t get and hold onto a job and earn a good living. Their businesses are thriving on something tried and tested, something reliable that doesn’t need a whole lot of a song and dance to make a success; they simply know what is needed in the society and they deliver. When they are planning their education and future career, they want and need to know what kind of professionals are needed by the masses, educate themselves in the field and hopefully, they will get a good reliable career out of it at the end of the day; and usually they do. There are certain things that will always be needed; hospitals, schools, food, retail, etc, this is not exactly rocket science that the Solid Thinkers make it out to be.

Fluid Thinkers also love to follow in the footsteps of their family members; and they will choose traditionally Solid Thinker careers out of respect to their families; actors, musicians, and other entertainment industry professionals being great examples; even though entertainment corporations are steadily in the hands of Fluid Thinkers from managerial positions to financing and sales. The Solid Thinkers are very unpractical compared to the Fluid Thinkers, and, therefore, the business side of things often falls in the hands of Fluid Thinkers.

Fluid Thinkers are often great at school, and they really value school learning and education, even in creative industries like music, film, and art, that are traditionally Solid Thinker venue, although Solid Thinkers rarely finish art schools. The truth is, that Solid Thinkers tend to have the capacity of making millions or making no money at all, but the Fluid Thinkers have more of an ability to generate a steady income through employment with relative ease no matter what field they decide to work at. Even if Solid Thinkers made millions, they are not very good with money. They over-spend or they simply squander the money, or they donate huge amounts of money to charity or their own charitable causes because they simply do not see the point of saving the money for their children or other family members.

To determine whether a person is a Solid Thinker or not, one question on a date is a great indicator of it: “Do you value commitment?” or “If there was no possibility of divorce, would you ever get married?” A Fluid Thinker will give a clear, simple answer to these questions; They value commitment over anything, loyalty and trust are the key pillars to a good relationship, and they would gladly get married even if there was no option to divorce, after all, that is kind of the point of a marriage, isn’t it? A Solid Thinker will give an uhm-ahm answer. They are trying to find a way to explain to you that of course marriage is something that they want, but they need to be absolutely certain they are marrying the right person, even though they feel like they can marry someone out of fear of not finding a better suited partner; ie. someone who is more tolerant of their unrealistic dreams and their unreliable way of living; and they are always trying to avoid the feeling of a ball and a chain, and like to keep their options open. They will, most likely go into a long philosophical debate over why this is the correct approach and how in today’s world there is really no need to get married at all, and that 50 % of marriages do wind up in divorce and therefore we can conclude the institution doesn’t work or anything to the tone of that, and that simply spells out: “Not willing to make a clear commitment to anyone at this point.”

Fluid Thinkers value absolute commitment. They will take some time to evaluate their new partner or their friend, and if they like the candidate, they will gladly form a bond with them that means they will take care of each other for life. If you, at this stage, make a commitment to a Solid Thinker, you will be in a world of pain because of them. Solid Thinkers will ALWAYS wind up leaving Fluid Thinkers, they cannot handle the pressure of having to be reliably present at all times and to fit the norm, they always feel like something about them isn’t right in this setting and they would be right, too. They are not good for Fluid Thinkers, and as such, they are prone to leaving them, even when the Fluid Thinker is willing to give them another chance – another chance that the Solid Thinker will eventually fail no matter how many of them the Fluid Thinker is willing to give them. The Solid Thinking pattern is not a disorder, but as such, is also incurable, they will always stay the same, and under pressure to perform to the expectations of the Fluid Thinker, they will grow increasingly aggressive toward the Fluid Thinker.

There is also the fact that once they realize the way YOU think, they will feel the exact amount of contempt towards you as you feel towards them. The smart thing to do is to leave this relationship where it belongs; in the bin.

Now what you DO want to look for is someone who is driven to succeed in something reliable. They need to want to impress the right people, people who have credentials to their name; Doctors, lawyers, professors, people who know their stuff. You want someone who has actually finished high school and who has some kind of a professional degree to show that they are willing to put up with discomfort to achieve something. Be careful, though, not all professionals are Fluid Thinkers. What is also telling about a Solid Thinker is that IF they do have a higher degree of some kind, they are MARRIED to their work. Their work is more important to them than their family life, and if family gets in the way of their work or their family suffers because of their work, the likely solution that they are going to be arriving at is not to reduce hours and stay home more, but to file for a divorce so they can keep out of your hair and you can find someone who has more time for you. Solid Thinkers are always more driven by their interests and their work (no matter how obscure their choice of carreer) than what they are about their family commitments, and you do want someone who values family over anything else.

That brings us to the next important identification point: You will want to find someone who cannot wait to meet your family and to make friends with every member of it! Your ideal partner will also become a part of your family, and although Solid Thinkers can be charming and they would probably impress your family, they will probably insult your family by remaining quite distant from them unless it so happens that they truly like the members of your family – but you don’t really want to make that a qualifying point if you suspect you have a Solid Thinker candidate in your hands. Solid Thinkers are named such because they are inflexible in the way that they are, you can’t change them, they are stuck in their own quirky obscure ways and obsessions and even though you can distract them for a while, they will always return back to whatever drives them – even after becoming parents.

The point thus, is not so much how well they’ll get along with your family, because of the off chance that they find natural soulmates in yours, but the point is to keep a good eye on them when you ASK THEM whether or not they want to meet your family. A Fluid Thinker will be eager to meet them, a Solid Thinker will be quite hesitant or pensive about it. This is partly because they already sense that  you are a Fluid Thinker and that they will fail to meet your expectations down the line, and bringing your family into it will only add to your disappointment later. They may still be willing to try because they feel socially pressured to, but a Fluid Thinker, although they can be SCARED TO DEATH how your family will react to them, will always WANT TO impress your family, and they want more than anything to be liked by your family because like you, to them, family is important.

Another great first date question to determine that this person is actually a Fluid Thinker is to ask them which they consider to be the higher form of love; Giving a person their freedom if they want to go no matter how much you love them, or sticking by another person no matter what and never giving up on them and keep fighting for that love. Solid Thinkers would never stick by someone who wants to leave them, so they will answer they would give them their freedom, whereas a Fluid Thinker would think that if someone wants to leave them, it’s most likely really a test whether the other person would come after them or not. (By the way, if you leave someone to test them, remember to carry it through if they don’t follow you; after all, the person you wanted would, and if they don’t, they’re likely a Solid Thinker.)

You can also flush a Solid Thinker out of their hiding by blurting out a question about how much they value sex in a relationship. Firstly, a Solid Thinker would be taken aback by the directness of that question – even though they like to talk about sex in another way, but if you bring it up like you were interrogating them, you will likely make them avoid the question or stutter somehow. A Fluid Thinker will give you a direct answer to a direct question because they know this is about figuring out whether or not you are mutually compatible as partners. After this trick, too, you might have scared the Solid Thinker off and they will likely never call you again, which is exactly as you want it to play out.

Should a Solid Thinker be aware of this categorizing thing, you can also simply ask them which category they belong in and they will tell you straight. A Fluid Thinker might pause and try and figure out which answer it is that you are actually wanting to hear before they answer. A Fluid Thinker, as the name suggests is quite able to fit any container or mould that you ask them to fit, and they will be eager to meet your expectations of them in order to make this relationship work.

The Fluid Thinker relationships are about a mutual wish to stay together, with as little need for the other person to try and keep it together on their own because they accidentally made the mistake of trying to make a Solid Thinker fit Fluid Thinker’s shoes. Fluid Thinkers will always rally for the family, they will stick together no matter what, their life is built on mutual trust and loyalty that will go before any sexual desire that might threaten the union. Fluid Thinkers are known for having a lot of lifelong relationships while Solid Thinkers have only a few if any… And that all speaks about the same thing; Fluid Thinkers need to find people like themselves to build strong relationships on, something they can be proud of and to raise strong families on.

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In summary

 

At the end of the day, whichever variation or category you belong in, the most important question is this; Can you imagine anything or anyone better than what or who you are thinking about now? Your dreams of an amazing relationship do not belong only to the movies, it is just that the Fluid Thinkers have a very different idea of what relationships are supposed to be about and they have tried, for yonks to change the Solid Thinker’s minds about what is important and what is not. As they value families, reliability, safety, and predictability, their opinion on “what women want” has become a mythical truth of the matter. In reality, Solid Thinkers all want the same thing; true connection, mind blowing, mind-melting understanding and meeting of minds and hearts that will never require anything external to keep going and thriving. It is virtually impossible to convince a Fluid Thinker that it is OK for people to have different aspirations in life, so it is important that we as Solid Thinkers know what we want, it is important that Fluid Thinkers know what they want, and try and make each others lives as easy as possible by recognising early on that we are not made for each other!

While Solid Thinkers are capable of exploring life outside their own direct wishes without feeling like they need to stay there for life, Fluid Thinkers will prefer just one trip; the one down the aisle and that’s it! They do not want to see how things go, they want a relationship, now, and that relationship needs to last forever. Fluid Thinkers value relationships by the measure of years, not by love or connection or understanding, and that is why Solid Thinkers need to know themselves through and through and to understand that there is NO NEED to conform! There is plenty of freaks out there for all of us, and the Fluid Thinkers will also find it a lot easier to find their matches, once the rest of us are well out of their way.

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