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A rock fan. A thinker. A psychic empath and a channel, a Tarot reader. A polyandrist; The lover of men, kings, and gods. An eternal romance analyzer.  A romantic pervert. Generation X Rebel. A psycho-spiritual life coach.

Changing People vs. Liberating People

This is surprisingly difficult to tell sometimes.

Each person has a core within themselves that they believe is who they are. This core should be treated as if it was sacred. This core, that each person holds as who they are, should never by forcefully changed or threatened, and it should never be oppressed.

People never truly change from the inside by anyone else’s influence anyway. “Changing people” is very much an external concept. We force people to change their behavior, make them lie about who they are on the inside by forcing a false expression on the outside. When these falsehoods are erased, people are perceived to change, whereas they, themselves feel they have been liberated.

True change can happen in two modalities:

  1. “I no longer like myself, I will change” or “I like the way that person is, I will become like them” as in: Changing oneself.
  2. I have been mistaken about the way other people/things/facts are, I will change my mind on how they are: Changing one’s opinion.

I mainly aim to change people’s opinions, but never the core. I want to liberate the core, which will create a huge external change, which, to the person, doesn’t feel like having changed but having been given the permission and tools to be who they feel they’ve always been, but never been allowed to be.

Other people resist liberation of the individual’s core:

  1. When people know how others behave, they feel a level of security and peace of mind, they know how things are.
  2. When a person starts to ‘crack’, as in their true self comes out of the shell, the people who believed they always knew that person feel insecure about what more is to come, their world view is forced to change because this person turns out to be different to what they expected.
  3. They are in denial and wish this person to go back into their shell so that they can keep on believing their world view was accurate and truthful all along.
  4. Even if that person was a better, nicer individual on the inside than what they’ve been perceived, people STILL resist their change because they do not want to change their perception on things. They value their own perception more than what they value another person’s freedom to be who they are.

Oppression happens through:

  1. The belief everyone likes people who display certain character traits, and if they do not, they will be disliked – therefore, it is “the best thing to do” to help them (force them, for their own good, to) hide their unwanted character traits.
  2. The belief they, themselves are better liked than the person who they want to encourage to hide their unwanted character traits (and opinions).
  3. The belief that the people who like people with the unwanted character traits are lesser people in everyone’s eyes because they are lesser people in their own eyes.
  4. The belief that it is NORMAL (the expectation, the done thing, common, and even healthy and sociable) to lie about one’s own opinions and likes and dislikes and to hide one’s own unwanted character traits. So as they suppress their own authentic self, they also help and force others to suppress theirs, which creates oppression. (All these points describe a very common form of narcissism, present in near all families.)

Suppression happens through:

  1. Deciding that I will not be loved or appreciated the way I am, therefore I will hide who I am. (This feeling maybe true or untrue depending on the situation.)

Liberation happens through:

  1. Learning to appreciate one’s own character traits truly, and finding respect for other people and their own authentic character traits.
  2. Helping a person know that the way they are is OK, or even wanted, if not by everyone, then among a certain group of people.
  3. Logically explaining to people why a certain trait is NOT a bad thing but is actually wanted and welcomed by a lot of people, for example, polygamous tendencies, that are very much shunned by the vast majority of people, even those who are naturally polygamous.

A dirty trick: When someone is trying to oppress you, tell them this, casually, as if you hadn’t noticed they do this: Some of the most disliked character traits in this world are hate of change (new things and ideas) and intolerance to different kinds of people, so people should do their best to pretend to be fine with those things even if they are not, so people would like them more. (Elaborate if you like.) This will hopefully get them off your back.

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