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Sebastyne

A rock fan. A thinker. A psychic empath and a channel, a Tarot reader. A polyandrist; The lover of men, kings, and gods. An eternal romance analyzer.  A romantic pervert. Generation X Rebel. A psycho-spiritual life coach.

The Cheat Sheet for Seb’s Love

I was asked for this... Telepathically, of course.

This may seem like an odd page to have on, but I am very outspoken about certain things, and I know that some of the stuff I say on this blog make me seem potentially really touchy or difficult to deal with so I wanted to write this page (actually I didn’t, someone super famous asked me to, because he figured if he finds this site and wants to get closer to me, he’d be a little afraid without this) to fine tune what I mean… As sometimes the post itself suffers if I start going into detail about how I personally deal with these things, rather than allow it the fire and brimstone it requires for the full effect… And also the opposite is true, I keep telling people to be exactly who they are and love and light for everybody and what not, and that should not be mistaken with an invitation to consider ME everyone’s personal friend!

Authentic Relationships

So in this post, I talk about loyalty, and how easily I walk out the door if someone crosses a certain line with me. I am by no means touchy, but… With women, I have 0 tolerance for bullshit. What I mean by this is that I do not accommodate other women, I don’t tolerate stuff from women, and the reason being is that I put 0 value on female relationships if they give me ANY grief at all. I’m like a 0 drama zone with women, no tolerance to it at all. For instance… Shit like: “Have you spoken to X on Facebook behind my back?” I don’t care if I have or have not, if I consider that man a friend, I do not intend to ask for your permission to speak to him no matter how fucking deathly in love with him you are – and I am also not going to dictate to him which one of us he’s supposed to fall in love with. I know how it feels like when your friends stab you in the back with people you’re in love with so I get it, however… If it comes to a choice between my slight budding interest towards a guy and a good year’s long friendship with a woman, I’ll choose the guy. Men Win Every Time. I’ll side with a guy every time UNLESS he’s completely and utterly and blatantly wrong. (And when I say wrong… wow. It is possible I side with a guy if he’s been beating up his wife for years, without being able to shake her off…. as described in that very same post.)

I forgive men a lot easier than what I forgive women. With women, it’s “OK, you give me an ounce of trouble and I’m out” because I simply don’t give a fuck. With men… Yeah. I give a fuck. I want to make it work. I’ll understand if you got scared if you said something you didn’t mean if you went a little crazy over something, no drama. I don’t care if you went on a two weeks bender because we had a fight or whatever, as long as I know you did it because you love me and you were hurt by something I absolutely didn’t mean the way you took it. 😀 I don’t need my men to be perfect, but I need them to be perfectly in love. So…

What is unforgivable from a guy… If he deliberately sides with another woman IN ORDER TO hurt me or to humiliate me. Never has happened, but hell, always the first, right? What is also unforgivable, which I won’t allow to happen again, is when a guy is selfishly stopping me from moving on with another guy, simply because the old guy thinks he’s the bee’s knees. And I do mean this quite in this specific situation. He thinks he’s better than the other guy, so to do ME a fucking favor, he stops me from leaving him and going to the other guy… or talks to the other guy to put it into his head that he’s not good enough for me and that he needs to do me a favor by leaving me alone. Something like this has happened before… Along the ball park. Tough break to forgive. Not ENTIRELY unforgivable in all cases, love makes people do stupid shit, but… Yeah. That’s bad. From a woman… She’d be lucky to be alive after I’d find out she’s done something like this.

Sleeping with other women… I can deal with that… But I won’t be in a relationship with that other woman, so although this doesn’t quite fall into the category of “unforgivable” as there’s nothing to forgive if this is what you want, it’s just that I don’t want the same thing and it’s a deal breaker; If you expect me to be friends with your other girlfriend… No. Not going to happen. I can be cool with the mother of your children and support you both in raising the children, but not if there is an expectation of a sexually linked bond between myself and her, as in if we’re both supposed to be your equal lovers, not gonna happen. I’ll have you choose one or the other. Don’t care which, but you’ll choose. I may even settle for the secondary lover’s role, but I’ll have to know which one of us is which, and if we are both your lovers, don’t expect us to be friends.

I write about people and human behavior. Therefore, I cannot only explain stuff what I would do from my personal perspective, but I also explain how other people think. Therefore, I feel the need to underline certain things:

I would never

  • I would never risk a friendship or a love relationship by screaming and shouting or disrespecting you in a way that I know is hurtful to you.
  • I would never call you names in a mean tone (joking aside) and expect to remain your friend after wards.
  • I would never leave you simply to test whether you’d follow me or not. If I leave, I assume you don’t care, or I’ll leave because I want to leave you… But I would never leave without saying a word if I intend to leave you completely. If I leave without a word, I fully assume you wouldn’t give two shits whether I leave or not, in which case informing you for me leaving would feel stupid.

I am not likely to:

  • Say something really hurtful to you and expect us to remain friends afterward. If I tell you something akin to “you act like a complete cum-sucking slut and it makes you look real bad and I’m ashamed of being around you” does not mean: “I am so serious about our friendship that I need you to change your behavior for me so we can remain friends.” No. It means that you’re the kind of a person who I don’t want to hang out with, period. (Yes, there’s a type of a “slutty” woman who I do not like to be around even though normally I quite like perverts.)

However, what I MAY do:

  • I MAY sleep with another guy and see how you take it, to see if you’d be turned on or off by it if I do. I hope you to be turned on by it, but if you’re not, it may mean we’re not compatible as I am a polyandrist.
  • I might, of course, say something that is hurtful to you, but I would never KNOWINGLY want to hurt someone I care about.
  • I may get really critical about your art but it will always be combined with an absolute adoration to what you do and who you are, and I will shower you with praise as I tell you where you need to improve. (Because I know everything. 😉 ) If I intend to stay in your good books, you’ll have to know that I freaking adore you, even if I have some biting words to share.

Umm… I know quite a bit. Too much to be really comfortable with it, and not enough to trust it completely. I am surrounded by… Incredible men, and to the life of me I don’t know what the hell do they want out of me… (No that’s a little bit of a lie, but…) I know about marriages I’m more than likely to break, and I know the kind of life style we‘ll be leading, but… I know it won’t be a 100% match to what I see. It’s more like a plan than an absolute vision of the future.  I wouldn’t mind it being 100%, but it’s unlikely that it will be, but it can be taken down to 60% and it would still be freaking wild. 20% would blow my mind. :p (As long as it’s a cer… No, any 20% would blow my mind.)

So it’ll be interesting to actually be face to face with these men and try to figure out how the hell to play my cards, knowing what I know, not knowing what they know and how much they know, and how to play it cool, confidently enough while not turning presumptuous about it. Because I do not want anyone to think they HAVE TO be mine… Or that they’re obligated somehow because they’re not. Also, future hasn’t happened yet, so it’s not like I can just see what will happen, the only thing we know is what we ALL WANT TO happen, that doesn’t mean we won’t screw it up, and the screw up is likely to be me, so…

We’ll see.

My non-monogamy

I am a sexually submissive heterosexual polyandrous androphile, just rolls off your tongue, that one, doesn’t it? In plain English, that pretty much reads: “Wants to be repeatedly gang raped by a bunch of brutal men and then marry the lot of them.”

I’ve got one rule that I follow: “No tight attachments to men who fall even an inch short of a full blown True Spirit Mirror.” However, I do keep some attachments to men who I believe MAY TURN out that way, or who I feel will somehow fill some space in the future… Even if I know they might not be perfect for me, but I know their perfect place is somewhere where I can help them to find they way to. I am not possessive of ALL men, I  simply want ALL OF MY MEN.

Playing, thus, means that although I am not LOOKING to create permanent relationships with anyone who is cool enough, I am open to falling truly and madly in love at the first sight (and I hope that will happen sooner rather than later), and that is going to be an issue to some men.

Category: My non-monogamy

The female rule. 😀 I do not play with women. I don’t want them around, in fact, if a guy is in love with a woman, I can’t get aroused by him, and I don’t even need to know he’s in love with someone else to be put off by him. The female energy I feel with him is an instant turn off for me, and I can’t help it.

Secondly, I don’t find women sexually attractive… Well, it’s more complicated than that, but suffices to say that any women or male-female couples asking for my company are going to be turned down.

Category: My non-monogamy

Me as a coach

Okay, so I am a life coach for EVERYONE. Everyone is different, and so am I. If I am accepting of everyone’s differences in their sexual orientations and the way they make friends, and even if I understand why people do what they do and why they have every right to do what they do with people who share their values, that doesn’t mean that I want the same thing for myself in MY personal life. It wouldn’t make sense, either, because I cannot be, for instance, simultaneously both polyandrous, polygynous and polygamous, right? You can only be one of the three at one time, and most likely you can be only one of those things authentically, depending on the circumstances.

What this means that you cannot use my acceptance of YOUR life style choices against me by demanding that I will change into something that you want me to be simply because I understand the way you want to live your life. You do not get to abuse my understanding and kindness, nor push me into a box you are comfortable with just so I can liberate you from yours.

You don’t need to agree with me personally in order to take advantage of what I teach… You shouldn’t need to, at least. I’ll have to address that problem one day if you do.

I want everyone to feel free to seek for the kind of a life style and relationships that will make them happy, but I cannot hold your hand to do it. I will, of course, take MY OWN True Spirit Mirrors wherever they need to go, because I am going in the exact same place with them, but you cannot expect me to hold your hand to take you and every other of my students wherever they need to be. You are adults, so you’ll need to find some ability to make your own way where you want to go – my main role is to awaken your curiosity towards what you truly are, my role, as a life coach, is NOT to hold your hand and to be your personal friend or your lover, but that does not, obviously, stop me from having personal friends and lovers of my own, should go without saying.

Category: Me as a coach

If you feel like you need my emotional support to go through your daily life… I’ll be neither for long. I am not here to give you emotional support. I am going to, at some stage, run peer support groups where you can find solace from each other, but for the time being, I don’t have the people numbers to make that happen. Until then, I do sometimes chat with people who tend to be in the uncomfortable midway of a friend and a client but unless I ask for your opinion and support from time to time, I do not consider you a friend but… an interesting acquittance with similar experiences perhaps.

I will use my personal friends to run my ideas by them when I need to. That is a good indicator of how much I respect your opinion. I can also ask for people’s opinions on my ideas on a public forum, but that will be intended public and therefore doesn’t count as an indicator as a personal friend… :p

If we get naked together, I really do find you a very interesting acquittance the minimum. 😀

Category: Me as a coach

Female Friends

I am sick and tired of trying to maneuver myself between women and their crushes on guys they can’t even dream to have… And their husbands, too. I am sick and tired looking away from a man fearing that he’d fall in love with me instead of my friend who is crushing on him like mad. Yeah. I get it. Love is tough and it hurts, but fuck… If I can catch the guy with one look without trying, imagine what someone with their claws out can do to your relationship!

I don’t want that female loyalty stuff anymore. I want you to get your claws out and try and take my men away from me if you want to, I want you to do your damned hardest if you’re into them, and I intend to do whatever I need to to keep them and to have those who I want. (Please note that I do not punish my men for physical violence against women who don’t know when to take no for an answer.) I know some of them will fall for a girl who goes after them with their claws out and I know even if I did my best impression of claws, some men will not even realize I’m interested, but that’s the risk I’m willing to take.

I don’t care if you’re a monogamist or a polygamist, if the only guy you’re hanging onto is more interested in sharing me with a couple of dozen other men over having you all to himself, then fuck I say I’ve beat you in this game fair and square.

And absolutely without any shadow of any doubt, I will not take part in man-allocation games of yours. I will not, under any circumstances, allow you to decide for a guy who he should or should not love. Make me privy of such pacts, and I’ll be sure to let him know why the girl he wanted suddenly turns away from him without an explanation.

Ideally, my female friends are just as man-obsessed polyandrists as I am, so I can get an even competition from them. I really like the idea of a few awesome women with a ton and ton of guys between us, but without us girls being friends as much as friendly rivals with mutual respect but no girl-pacts at all.

Category: Female Friends



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