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A rock fan. A thinker. A psychic empath and a channel, a Tarot reader. The lover of men, kings, and gods. An eternal romance analyser. A polyandrist. A romantic pervert. (A psycho-spiritual life coach.)


Eppu Uutinen – Good news or bad news?


Helsinki is a peculiar place. Being a Finn myself, I have a view on it, although I never thought of myself as one of the ‘stadilaiset’ even though I lived in ‘Stadi’ for a total of 4 miserable years before relocating to Tasmania for more fun and games of the same sort… Ie. absolutely nothing. Anyway, my life in Helsinki would have been a lot more eventful had I made a friend like Eppu Uutinen a little earlier, and, granted, had I not been married, always detrimental for your sex life, monogamy. Anyway, as I got under the caring wing of Mr. Uutinen, (who has got an impressive wingspan, too,) Helsinki started to look a whole lot more interesting than what it did before…. And, in a way, also a little more hilarious and somewhat depressing.

The word uutinen is Finnish for a news item, so one has to ask, is he good news or bad news, because the man clearly has the ability to be either of the two. His over 6-foot frame makes an impressive sight on stage or off stage, making it obvious that for any girl in the audience there is a heaven or hell on offer right there… Good news or bad news… And yet, he is no spring chicken either, clearly good news for the grown women in the audience as well as the spring chickens… We do not need another teenage fantasy, do we, girls? Ha, I for one, didn’t mind the opportunity to walk hand-in-hand with the Sebastian Bach – Legolas -lookalike, while younger women than me were enviously looking on. Damned, my ass has never looked as good as it did with his hand on it. Ehrm. Moving right along.

At first, I had the ear-cleaning pleasure of listening to Eppu with the Euge Valovirta Allstars (Euge Valovirta Official All Stars – band! Rainer Tuomikanto, Lauri Hämäläinen, Benkku, Nico Hartonen, Eppu Uutinen, Micko Hell, Tuomas ‘Tommy’ Tuovinen and Lasse Skov) at Tuska 2015 club show at Virgin Oil in Helsinki. This was a Kings of Chaos -type of arrangement with several bands and musos joining forces on stage to play all-covers set of rock classics, each of them putting aside their own projects for the time being. 

Helsinki isn’t a bad place to live if you have a few connections or a wad of disposable income to use on rock concerts, especially if you are not above sleeping in a tent a few hundred kilometers out of the city to join a rock festival which are plentiful in Finland. In June I visited two festivals, South Park in Tampere to see Extreme play and Tuska in Helsinki to see Alice Cooper on stage, – and didn’t even sleep in a tent. Granted, the tickets for a rock concert are nothing like they are in USA, you actually do have to dig deep to see your favorites on stage… But then again, the Finnish scene is actually not that bad, either… Back in the day when I was still young and pretty, I never missed an opportunity to see Waltari on stage and now I would be making sure Apocalyptica doesn’t escape me when in town, to name just two of my biggest favorites.

Check out Eppu Uutinen’s stuff on YouTube, yeah? And why, you may ask. Because his hand has been on my ass, that’s why. Like this one, it ain’t half shit, is it?

Oh, oh oh, I have got to add, during the show at Virgin Oil, the bass player, Lauri, got down on his knees in front of Euge, the (first) lead guitarist, to blow his hair off his sweating face… Oh wow that was homoerotic. As Lauri’s features are quite feminine, it was such a mindfuck you would not believe. Man, that was a good move. If I wasn’t a girl, I would have gotten an instant boner – provided I would be a guy who has a gay streak… But whatever girls who have a thing for guys the same way guys like watching lesbians at it… Yeah, I liked it. A lotz…


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I said

Ever received a compliment in the form of “I think you might be more beautiful than I am” and you’re like “Well I should bloody hope so.”?


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