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Sebastyne

A rock fan. A thinker. A psychic empath and a channel, a Tarot reader. The lover of men, kings, and gods. An eternal romance analyser. A polyandrist. A romantic pervert. (A psycho-spiritual life coach.)

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I miss the 60’s and 70’s and I wasn’t even born

The weirdest thing, all my life I’ve been sort of avoiding the 60’s and 70’s, especially the rock of that era. The reason didn’t become clear to me until a short while ago; I was there, in fact. Drugged out of my brain, and somewhere around mid 70’s I followed Jim Morrison through the doors of death and was almost instantly reborn into this life in ’76, that has turned out to be quite a  rehab for me. Like Amy Winehouse, rehab wasn’t an option, so we went, young and dumb. I hope her road to recovery is shorter than mine, I took a freaking long way to it.

In 1994 I had the chance of meeting the “recently” sobered up Aerosmith. I didn’t go. No no no. I was standing in the middle of this crowd, right in front of the stage but about 5 rows back, I was quite happy with my spot, and hadn’t seen them play before. I was 18 and all. Had gotten my license only a couple of months back and this was my first long drive. I was standing there when I “hear” this voice calling for my attention. It’s the guy at the back stage gate, and he is telling me to come meet the band. He is way, way too far from me to actually hear, but I know exactly what he’s saying. I tell him I don’t want to go because the show is about to start and I don’t want to miss it. Didn’t want to miss a thing. (That song hadn’t come out yet, kids.) He told me I could watch the show from the side stage, but I didn’t want to, my position was perfect, and I figured with my luck all I’ll see is Steven Tyler hurry past with scarfs flying in the air and Joe Perry looking sheepish hurrying past me. No, I was happy where I was, and I got this feeling that the guy in question was just using the band to get into my pants. (That is actually not the image I was seeing, in reality, I was picturing hurried high-fives, but allow me some artistic freedom.) Understandable, I’m not judging, especially as after the show, I was eyeing out the stars of the show wondering which one I fancied more, Tyler or Joe. I couldn’t make up my mind. Still, can’t.

Anyway, what really kept me from going, I realize that now, was the fear of drugs. I always had a fear of them in this life time, knowing that I couldn’t handle them, and the whole 60’s thing was all about drugs. Drugs, sex, and rock n’roll. Don’t mind the other two, but drugs, I couldn’t deal messing with them as I knew they’d take all of me – again. Had I gone in, and had that led to more than expected, who knows which la-la-land I’d be right now.

I have a past life memory being on a trip with Jim Morrison’s astral body. Drug type of trip, of course. I was sitting in my bedroom, I rarely left it at the time, a type of trauma kept me from going out if I wasn’t drugged out of my brain, I was playing with my Barbie dolls and Jim was looking at me play. Silently smoking and making remarks, he tolerated me enthusing about the dolls, laughing at my own childlike curiosity towards them. In this life time, when I heard the name “Barbie” for the first time, I knew I had to have one. I hadn’t even heard of them before, let alone seen them, but without seeing one I knew I had to have one. I’m currently surrounded by them.

Now, I have become convinced I won’t go back on drugs. That means I can listen to some old rock without fearing it’ll suck me back to tripping. I have an appallingly narrow field of knowledge of something I love so much… The good thing is, that I’m like the kids these days, to whom the 70’s is a new thing. Awesome.

 



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I said

Sometimes you have to find external noise to escape the noise in your head.

Sebastyne

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