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Sebastyne

A rock fan. A thinker. A psychic empath and a channel, a Tarot reader. The lover of men, kings, and gods. An eternal romance analyser. A polyandrist. A romantic pervert. (A psycho-spiritual life coach.)

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Not your regular girl

When I was a child, not more than 2, 3 years old, I insisted to grow my hair long so that people wouldn’t mistake me for a boy. My mother was more than baffled because I was a cute kid, and she thought I looked nothing like a boy. (The picture attached proves her wrong!) When I grew up a bit, at 6 or 7, I started insisting on wearing blue, because boys wear blue. Now I understand why this relates women’s place in the society. I was picking my team colors at 6 and 7, but I never wanted to be a boy, just hang out with them as I’ve always done in my previous life times; My True Mirror Spirits, just them and me. At the age of 30, I shaved my hair and wore pink, but there is always something about the way I dress that states “I’m not one of the women”. It was as if I’d ever been one of the women, people would take me for someone they can boss around and tell me what to do – the women especially. I’ve never been afraid of men, but I avoid being too wrapped up in women’s circles at all cost like it was the death of me.

I’ve always had hard time relating to women, and my “spirit guides” that should really not be called that as they are the females my friends and family as I treat them as a separate bunch to my True Mirror Spirits who are also in spirit with me, but yeah, the Miss Guides as I like to call them (haha) and I have been battling it out for over a year now. I felt like they’re trying to lasso me in and suffocate me, and I have been fighting for my freedom all this time. I have felt like I’ve been possessed by the women of my life, who have had all too much power over me in my life so far. They are Kryptonite to me. They wanted me to join the flock and become normal, and act like a woman of my age should… And I’m fighting it with all my might, cursing them, swearing at them as if that would have helped. But it was only when I dared to relate to them, my mother, in particular, I realized that they were trying to find their own sense of security by controlling what I do and choose, and they were then able to understand why I had a slight issue with that.

I wanted to associate myself with men because they were free. Anything that labels women was a red flag to me; children, doing the laundry, cooking, cleaning, sewing… All of that spelled out one word: TRAP. The only thing that gave me a sense of power in womanhood was looking like one – and a beautiful one at that, because men needed to save me, they needed to be interested. An ugly woman would never be taken in with the guys, as an equal, she’d only ever serve the role of another guy, a genderless creature that doesn’t fit the role of a wife nor a whore, more ignored than adored. I never feared men would enslave me – women would, out of a sense of duty, as a means to protect me, warn me about the perils of behaving wrong. In the previous life times I would dispose of my reputation quickly so it would no longer serve as a burden; a spoiled woman was unmarriable, and thus, free to go where she pleased, and what’s best, with men, men who weren’t looking for a wife, but someone to have fun with – and that’s all I ever needed from them; not safety, no children, no respectability in the eyes of other women, simply fun and excitement that was unattainable for a respectable woman. A whore was the only free woman for so many centuries.

I am an Ancient soul. I have been that way before modern civilization took a hold of me. Me and my soulmates broke out of the societal thinking while we were still apes in a tree – and came down. We escaped conventional thinking of human society because we were free thinkers before it was established, but only now I have reached the state of evolution when I can see clearly where the human race is headed to and why. Only now I can look back and think… To be a human is to break rules. That is what our species is created for. Rules are made for animals. That is the only true difference between a human and an animal; humans are terribly bad at both creating rules and following them. Every other species agree precisely on how to live life right. You kill a certain way, you f*** a certain way, you follow the leader and don’t rock the boat. A human being is still trying to establish a mockery of a society, but it’s not working well because we have passed the state of evolution where we all think alike. As a result of being submissive to males, the female of the species has been easy to harness into a role of an animal mate… However, that is not how the human race was built to function. Our evolution is still ongoing, but we are meant for more personal freedom and more life style options, not less.

Each of our souls lives to fulfill their truest wishes. Mine is to pave the way to more freedom. Break just one more rule.

 

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I said

The thing is, if you don’t love yourself, you won’t believe people when they tell you they do…

Sebastyne

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