Two-Sided Emotion Mirror

To some of you, the Two-Sided Emotion Mirror is very similar to a True Emotion Mirror. You may already be CONVINCED that the person you’re thinking about is a True Emotion Mirror, and if you are CONVINCED, you need to read this, but also, if you doubt whether your TrEmoR feels the same as you, either way, you must read this. All of it. DO NOT SKIP the UNCOMFORTABLE parts. Either leave this for now and come back when you have time and the attention span for this, but you NEED TO HEAR THIS to put your mind at ease about it.

It is one thing to recognize that your feelings for your person match the description of the True Emotion Mirror. That part is simple. The question is: Do they feel the same way toward you (even if you know they feel that way about someone else)? This question is usually on the top of the mind of the True Emotion Mirror but rarely troubles the mind of a Two-Sided Emotion Mirror’s Love Side.

Two-Sided Emotion Mirrors Feel Like Something is Troubling Their Counterpart.

There is something wrong with this relationship; one of the parties involved has an issue. The question is, which one, and what’s the issue? Both seem like capable, normal people. Which one is failing… or bailing love?

Now, the two sides to the Two-Sided Emotion Mirror pair must be named differently for us to make sense of any of it. So this RELATIONSHIP is named the Two-Sided Emotion Mirrors. The opposite sides to that coin are named the Love Side and the Void Side, or simply the Void. (Other theories may refer to them as chasers and runners, but they also treat them as Twin Flames without making a difference between a Twin Flame and an imaginary Twin Flame. What makes it so and what doesn’t.)

The Love Side.

The Love Side, the one of the pair that recognizes that they are in love with this other person, feels strongly that the Void Side is emotionally blocked or troubled or somehow otherwise traumatized.

The Love Side believes the reason why the Void doesn’t speak of love to them is “because they’re unaware of their feelings” or that “they’re hiding their feelings” or that “they are not in touch with their feelings” or “they don’t realize I love them.” The point is that the Void-Side of the Emotion Mirror feels NO, or very little love toward the Love-Side of the Emotion Mirror. They certainly don’t seem to feel ROMANTIC feelings toward the person, although they may have romanticized the relationship in one way or another. For instance, rather than love their spouse, they may love the idea of marriage and monogamy. Although they don’t love their very different friend, they may love the idea of friendship between two very different people, and so on. Although you don’t love war, you can romanticize the idea or cause of the war.

The need to fix the Void.

The Love Side is convinced that the reason the Void isn’t in love with them is that there’s something wrong with the Void. Never the Love Side. The Love Side feels that SINCE they are capable of loving this person, it MUST MEAN they are emotionally balanced and completely healthy. Emotional health isn’t quite that simple.

The Love Side feels they need to “teach their loved one how to love.” They feel they’d forgive that person everything and that if only they knew the depth of their love, the Void would be filled.

The Love Side is that of the Dog Type Thinker, who still hasn’t learned the reason why the Void doesn’t respond. Cat Type Thinker have learned this lesson already, albeit possibly TOO WELL, to the point of trauma, but for more than that, Cat Type Thinker and Dog Type Thinker thinking are irrelevant for the rest of the post.

When the Love Side is told that the Void Side does not love them like that, they are often VERY UNWILLING to receive that message. True Emotion Mirrors, even when fully in love, can entertain the idea that this might be just in their head, but the Love Side cannot even face the distant, theoretical possibility – and the reason for it is that it is THE TRUTH.

They’re getting away! 🙁

The Love Side will often feel like the Void is “trying to get away from them” or is “trying to escape”, or “someone else is going to steal them.” Again, imagine this as a male, and you know what I’m talking about, even though most often the Love Side is a female. A female Love Side will easily recruit people into helping them keep the Void trapped and contained. The Love Side feels like the victim in this relationship, and is not shy expressing the Void’s failure to reciprocate their love.

The Void Side.

The Void Side rarely takes the love of the Love Side very seriously. They see it as a childish crush or some form of a mental disorder.

The Void Side of the Two-Sided Emotion Mirror pair can be utterly confused about why that person even imagines being in love with them. They don’t see it AT ALL. Their feelings range from “Well, they’re OK, but…” and “That’s the worst human being I’ve ever encountered. I wouldn’t piss on them if they were on fire.”

The way they see it: “it’s only in his/her head.” “They’ve gone insane.” “They have this fantasy idea of who I am and how I feel about them.” They may also feel sorry for the Love Side, because they seem to be so perfectly contented with but scraps of emotion, but ironically, the same is true for the Love Side; they feel that the fact that the Void Side is NOT crying for love, they feel sorry for the Void Side for being happy with just a little love.

The reason for the Void Side’s acceptance of not being loved however isn’t being happy with a little love, but knowing that there isn’t enough tears in this world to ignite love that doesn’t exist, and also that if you cannot find love here, there’s the rest of the world to look for it in. They give up on one love knowing that’s not their last chance of it, and because they are not prepared to cry for scraps of love that will never turn into something that they could rely on.

Trapped in an emotional vacuum.

The Void is not a person who CANNOT feel love. It is just that if they are trapped in this relationship for some reason, they will be trapped into an emotional vacuum, where sources of happiness and love cannot enter. Their world maybe completely controlled by a person who loves them, yes, but cannot ignite love in the Void. The Love Side suffers because the Void Side cannot feel love toward them, and the Void Side suffers because they cannot feel love toward the Love Side.

Therefore, the outcome tends to be either constant emotional avoidance of this relationship while seeking other ignitions of love, OR arguing and violence, to feel SOMETHING, anything at all, toward that person.

The Void needs to understand that love is felt very real.

What the Void Side must understand is that the feelings that the Love Side is experiencing are very very close to those of a True Emotion Mirror. When True Emotion Mirrors fight or argue, there’s a strong feeling of contentment in there at the same time: “Look, you/I can be THIS ANGRY, and nobody is bolting from this relationship.” The problem is, sometimes the Void CANNOT leave. They’re the child of the Love Side, or they’re some relative, they might be technically responsible for the Love (at least for now,) or they might be guilt-tripped or even threatened into staying by abusive means. The Void Side might have gotten married to the Love Side for a reason or another, and cannot leave for a reason or another.

THIS IS WHY DIVORCE EXCISTS. Divorce exists solely to undo this fucked up bond, and to protect people of being forcibly tied to this bond between “lovers” of whom only one person feels the love.

The Void needs to understand the Love and the depth of the Love Side’s feelings.

However, for the Void to get their freedom, they must first UNDERSTAND FULLY that the love that the Love Side feels is real. The fact that it is linked to a lot of fantasy is another thing. The fantasy exists to breathe life to a love that wouldn’t last if the Love Side would realize that the void of love the Void Side feels is just as real, permanent, and NOT linked to a trauma. The Love Side’s fantasy links all of those possibilities into the story: They’re traumatized, someone (else) hurt them, they are afraid of this love… (Who wouldn’t be afraid of the love of an insane person?)

However, the Void must HEAR the Love Side’s confessions, offers, what they need and want, and be present in their need to offer them the strength of their love. They will know when you understand it. And once you do, and if it still doesn’t bring you to tears, they will let you go. They need to be able to love you as hard as they can, before they believe that love isn’t mutually felt.

When an actual True Emotion Mirror acts almost identically to a Void Side.

Now, here is what makes things soooo confusing. A True Emotion Mirror can act almost identically to a another person’s Void Side does… Their reasons? They might be very pissed off with you from a previous life thing, or they might try to teach you not to be cold toward your platonic Love Side, or who knows? They might also think it to be romantic if you believed they didn’t love you and once you lose your faith in it, they’ll show back up with an “April’s Fools” -grin on their face.

Still, there will be some differences. If he or she is planning for an April’s Fools surprise party, it might be counter-productive for you to read these, but then… You might lose your love for them if you truly believe they don’t love you back so… Your call. LUCKILY, there are some tell-tell signs that this is an actual True Emotion Mirror relationship.

The Two Sided Emotion Mirrors do not have uber Romantic Moments.

With a True Emotion Mirror, you will have MOMENTS of pure uber romance. Maybe not often, but they’re there. They are UNDENIABLY romantic and even OVER-romantic. It’s not just the romantic feeling of sitting next to the person you love in a very mundane situation (although they’d exist), or having an “oh so intense argument” with the love of your life, which, to a loved-up person feels very romantic indeed. No. I’m talking about moments that are INARGUABLY romantic in the highest of order.

What you must look for is situations that they WOULD NOT HAVE BEHAVED in that way in any normal romance-free situation between people of the definition of your official relationship. If you’re friends, these romantic situations, without the emotional load, must not fit into what friends would normally do. Even though you were over the moon sitting next to your same gender friend looking at the stars together, that is not a situation inconceivable for platonic friends to do together. However, platonic friends do not touch each other on the chest, they don’t dance romantically, (apart from a joke,) and they don’t kiss, make romantic love confessions, nor do they make love. If those things are missing, it might be “all in your head.

The Two Sided Emotion Mirrors do not have not stared each other in the eye while wrapped in a soul bubble.

There is that soul bubble feeling with them, rather than a cold rejection from them. You’ve STARED each other lovingly in the eye without it erupting into laughter, argument, or fuck you’s. You CANNOT LOOK YOUR TRUE EMOTION MIRROR IN THE EYE AND HATE THEM at the same time. THEY cannot look you in the eye and hate you at the same time.

Most of the time, the Two-Sided Emotion Mirrors WILL NOT EVER look each other in the eye, unless it’s some fucked up couple’s therapy situation or literally playing the staring game. The Void Side will not want to look the Love Side in the eye for two reasons: They don’t want the Love Side to see how much they hate them, they don’t want the Void Side to know them, OR they don’t want to give the Love Side any mixed signals of that level.

If you are a True Emotion Mirror, you know you’d fall out of love with them IF YOU TRULY BELIEVED they feel nothing for you. You almost wish for it, if they behave this way.

True Emotion Mirrors have never argued. The Two Sided Emotion Mirrors might have.

True Emotion Mirrors will not argue each other without falling into each other’s arms with love confessions. They will not scream into each others’ face things like: “Fuck off, get the fuck away from me, YOU’RE CRAZY!” without soon revealing those are just words. True Emotion Mirrors who pretend not to care CANNOT let the guard down without letting their love run free, too. That mutual love will always come out when they argue. That is why sometimes, people argue with you straight away, to see if you love them.

If Two Sided Emotion Mirrors argue, they will break up over it. Sooner or later, if not instantly. The less important the relationship is to the Void Side, the less it handles arguments and internal drama. Still, there’s a limit to the Void Side’s tolerance that will always be found when the relationship is just a Two Sided Emotion Mirror relationship. While True Emotion Mirrors may avoid arguing FEARING that this is just a Two Sided Emotion Mirror relationship, a Two Sided Emotion Mirror relationship will die over arguments… A True Emotion Mirror relationship will gain strength.

NOTICE that if your counterpart CANNOT LEAVE YOU for whatever reason even if you argue all the time, the Void Side simply feels TRAPPED, not loved and free to express their feelings in this relationship. Their NEGATIVE FEELINGS will be IGNORED and tossed aside as empty tomfoolery or attention seeking, rather than addressed and handled as true, valid emotions.

The abusive side.

To make it very clear; the Love Side easily feels they are the victim of abuse in this connection. They feel it is abusive to not respond to their love, and to try and get away from them. To ignore their love and their needs is abusive. They feel that the fact THEY LOVE makes them the better, stronger, healthier individual.

USUALLY we don’t recognize this as a problem, if the Love Side is female. You will INSTANTLY KNOW WHY it is troublesome if the Love Side is a male, and the Void Side is female. You’ll see no trouble at all to recognize it as malignant narcissism or obsessive stalking behavior. It is just that the Love Side believes that their feelings JUSTIFY EVERYTHING they do to the Void. In spirit, they can isolate the Void to force them to recognize their love for the Love Side, they can attack them psychically and attempt to ignite their love, like a psychopathic psychiatrist conducting some crazy experiments on a patient given to their “care.”

The Love Side will also find ME telling them this abusive and unfair. They are not getting their candy, so they’re throwing a tantrum. Unfortunately, a tantrum of this nature will easily result in murders.

The Love Sides confuse fighting for intense love.

Now, True Emotion Mirrors behave in a VERY SIMILAR FASHION without it being in anyway abusive. And this is where the question and fear of “is this a narcissist or true love” comes to a lot of True Emotion Mirrors. When your love feels a little too good to be true, when it’s all uber romantic, you’re head over heels in love, you feel all these crazy emotions, but on top of that, you fight sometimes.

The Love Side often insist they are True Emotion Mirrors with The Void “because we’re so intense.” And by intense, they mean “always arguing.” Not romantic. Not “having great emotionally and intellectually bonded conversations,” not “intellectually and emotionally inspiring,” but “fighting a lot.” The Love Side feels that love, but the Void is just pissed off.

Arguing, fights, and violence.

But there is a BIG DIFFERENCE in what ignites True Emotion Mirror fights and how long they last, and how damaging they are. True Emotion Mirrors will never physically harm each other. Two Sided Emotion Mirrors CAN and WILL physically harm each other, it’s just a question of which one crosses that line first. Their motivations are different: The Love Side: “I will hurt/kill you because you don’t love me and don’t recognize me as your lover, my love gives me the right to take your life.” The Void Side: “You don’t listen to me. I don’t love you. I need you to go away. If you don’t go away, I will hurt you/kill you. The fact I warned you gives me the right to kill you.” Notice the difference? To take your life vs. to kill you? To OWN YOUR LIFE or to send your life away.

True Emotion Mirrors will eventually learn to trust that they CAN show anger and express anger in that relationship without sending their lover running. The Two Sided Emotion Mirror relationships that we’ve all probably have, fighting leads to separation, and Cat Type Thinker have learned to avoid doing this. Therefore, they will feel a sudden sense of relief and liberation, when they actually realize they are free to express their negative feelings with this person – they both still know the love is there even when they’re screaming at each other.

Topic of arguments.

The Two Sided Emotion Mirror relationship is often marked by constant arguing and fights, but the Void feels the lack of love in every moment of it. They suffer, while the Love Side believes they are at the height of “intimacy” in these moments. “We can let our guard down. We can be ourselves.” If by “ourselves” you mean the worst of humanity, I’d like to point out.

True Emotion Mirrors fight mostly about small things, basically “you have to allow yourself to be true to yourself” or “you have to protect yourself.” TrEmoRs anger when the other is not doing something RIGHT BY THEMSELVES. Two Sided Emotion Mirrors argue about how the Void isn’t doing their part in the relationship, how The Void is “avoiding” arguments or expressing their ‘true’ feelings, or how the Love Side is smothering or controlling and won’t let the Void leave. The Void may also raise their voice over the topic of the Love Side meddling into their actual relationship, causing harm to them at their work place, in their friendships, and everything else that is important to the Void that competes with the Love and their fantasy of this love they imagine sharing with the Void.

Where does the name come from?

Do you remember those mirrors that are a window on the other side? Depending on which side of the pane you sit, you see a mirror or a window. This is the way you see things with your Two-Sided Mirror Spirit; complete opposite. One of you is True Emotion Mirror Spirit -level in love, and the other thinks you’re their mortal enemy. Love is close to hate, but hate is not close to love.

When True Emotion Mirrors are separated only by the belief the other doesn’t want them or love them, the Two-Sided Mirror Spirits are separated because no matter what, the other does NOT love you, never will, no matter how much love you poured into the relationship – they wouldn’t ALLOW you to love them, because they don’t WANT TO be loved by you, and they don’t want to love you. They don’t see loving you as a positive idea.

Metaphorical meaning

Metaphorically, the Love Side is on the side of the observed in a control room, looking at a mirror reflection of themselves, but the real person is behind the mirror, looking at the real version of the Love Side; the observed, the one who cannot fully see the reality of the situation… The Void may not want to be there, but they are somehow obligated to; it’s “their job.”

The Love Side is talking to a projection of themselves, wondering why the emotional response of their own reflection is limited. In the mean while, behind the pane, the Void Side is looking at the Love Side thinking: “They’re insane/narcissistic.”

The Love Side is looking at a mirror image of themselves – projecting their own traumas and feelings to the mirror and accusing the Void for all of the things that is wrong with themselves. And THAT is the important part. The Void does not need therapy – at least not for what the Love Side thinks – the Love Side needs therapy for everything they’ve accused (and it comes as an accusation here) the Void of. The accusation comes from the knowing they, themselves cannot accept that problem to be theirs, so they accuse the Void of having all the issues they, themselves do.

Often, the Void is the male half of a traditional straight monogamous pair of Emotion Mirrors, but not always, of course. But when the Love Side is a male, police gets involved, fast.

Does the Void owe the Love Side reciprocal feelings?

For the Void Side of this connection, the answer to “Are we True Emotion Mirrors?” is simple and without any drama: Do I love them?

If the answer is no, I can tell you without any difficulty that they are not your True Emotion Mirror no matter what they might feel about you. If you know someone who insists you are their True Emotion Mirror, but you don’t feel unusual level of love toward them, they’re not your True Emotion Mirror. You owe them nothing, but that doesn’t mean you’re finished with them. If they won’t let go, there’s not much you can do about it except to keep fighting back and try to find the words to snap them into the reality of your feelings – without igniting a murderous rage in them.

The reason why?

I believe the reason is that the Love Side misreads the situation based on their own feelings toward the Void. The underlying reason maybe sexual orientation: When a straight person shows interest or love toward a gay/bi person, for instance, it MEANS a lot more or a different thing to the gay/bi person than what the straight person intended to say with it.

When someone begs for your love, and you don’t realize it has to do with romantic or sexual feelings, you associate it with a child’s need to be picked up and cared for. So you react to it the same way you’d react to a child. You’ll show pity and compassion toward an adult while being perfectly aware that this person is NOT a child. This turns off your ability to respect that person as your equal, but you’ll treat them as a co-dependent, a patient, a client, or, indeed a disabled special needs child.

The cause of this is probably quite varied, but it’s safe to say misunderstanding between thinker types plays a huge role.