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You can read these posts in order.

Please note that these posts describe a relationship between two or more individuals. This is a soulmate typology, not a personality typology. You always need a MINIMUM of two people to decide which relationship type is in question, but you can read what would be your ideal relationship type based on your thinker type.


Fluid Spirit Mirror

The relationship type for people who value commitment

A Fluid Thinker will only ever connect fully in a relationship with another Fluid Thinker. They are potentially very different in character traits, they may disagree on almost anything, but they will decide to stick together no matter what. Both agree 100% that what makes a relationship perfect is the decision to stay together – to them, love is primarily a commitment. The act of love is either taking care of each other or guidance; Showing the other how to be a proper human being.

Fluid Spirit Mirror relationship is based on absolute commitment

Adjusting Spirit Mirrors, are two people (or sometimes more than two) who decide that “we will stick together through thick and thin” and neither one hesitates on this decision for a moment. Relationship to them is a decision, not “a let’s see what’s going to happen” or “I will first take a moment to see if I like you enough to stick around”. They will first form a union, then they will adjust their personalities so that they will find a groove that will work for both (all). They will, in a sense, decide to form a relationship, commit to it 100% and then they take an inventory; “OK, this is what I am like, that is what you are like; what can we do with these materials?” (To a Solid Thinker, this would be a stick up; to them it sounds like a Fluid Thinker is asking them to sign over their life and only then they’ll reveal what they signed up for.) The Fluid Thinker would go “take a chance”, “you gotta take risks in love”, “just go for it, make a commitment!” In love, Fluid Thinkers are gamblers with what they’ll get, but they will NEVER expect to be left as a result of a bad gamble.

Adjusting Spirit Mirrors are not really necessarily compatible. They simply agree on one thing, and that one thing is that commitment is everything, and most likely, they both feel strongly that monogamy is their only choice and that family is the most important thing. In many ways, they feel the most romantic thing that could happen to them is someone who doesn’t like them at all decides to sacrifice everything in order to be with them for the rest of their lives. In that sense, they can fall in love with anyone who is interested in a permanent relationship, because they understand the process of dating and forming a relationship very differently to a Solid Thinker, who can cause a lot of heartache to a Fluid Thinker who has attached themselves to a Solid Thinker. (I write a lot about that elsewhere.)

To Adjusting Spirit Mirrors, a family is another very natural outcome of this commitment. The bigger the family, the happier they will be. Extended family also adds to the sense of security that is very important to them. Love, to Adjusting Spirit Mirrors means a commitment, taking care of each other and an offer of mutual guidance and help. Adjusting Spirit Mirror couple will do everything together, to a large degree. They are joined by the hip, and they are happiest around their family and friends. A Fluid Thinker, even without another Fluid Thinker near by will always attempt to collect family together, and they are almost in physical pain if they cannot have their loved ones together in one place at all times because they need the feeling of safety of having everyone accounted for. (These feelings are not foreign to Solid Thinkers in True Spirit Mirror -relationship, either, but they simply understand the need of an independent life much more naturally thFluid Thinkers and feel this SOLELY for their Exact Spirit Mirrors regardless of their genetic bond.)

Fluid Thinkers may well be told that they are co-dependent, because that is pretty much the way they are – but that, to me, is just the way that some people are, and there is no harm in that as long as you find another person who feels exactly the same way about how they want their human connections to be. Fluid Thinkers may find it helpful to realize that other people who fit into this group are very careful about taking risks particularly after having been hurt a few times (by a Solid Thinker) and therefore expecting a full commitment early on in the relationship is a bit much to ask for, but once you have established yourself to be a trustworthy individual with good wholesome values, commitment comes easy to another Fluid Thinker. (The same isn’t true with a Solid Thinker, who makes a commitment based on very different basis, and to whom a commitment is more a result of love that simply won’t die rather than an actual decision to stay together.)

Fluid Thinkers, by the way, LOVE TO ARGUE with the people they love the most. They argue because they feel the joy of hating someone so much and yet loving them to their core! They feel the biggest joy is to stay together with annoying people, while to a Solid Thinker, the feelings are very different. To a Fluid Thinker love is love/hate, but to a Solid Thinker, love is all positive emotions, solely positive emotions, apart from a bit of pleasurable physical pain that they may love in the context of sex, which doesn’t, again, fit the Fluid boat too well.

To Fluid Thinkers, dating is much like seeking employment; it is a practical process that the other person must qualify for, but only to prove their willingness to make a commitment and their ability to not abuse this connection. However, what to a Solid Thinker would be a completely unforgivable act of abuse of trust, to a Fluid Thinker is just getting warmed up. Many Fluid Thinkers test the other person’s level of commitment by emotional abuse – and they also feel that screaming and shouting at each other is absolutely fine and a sign of intimacy, to a Solid Thinker it is a sign that the relationship is over. A Fluid Thinker will not tolerate violations of material goods, however, or stealing from a partner, because what they want out of a union of this kind is a physical security rather than emotional security, and as such, any violations towards their material possessions is an unforgivable act. (A Solid Thinker, in some setting, might find a deliberately scratched car of theirs rather amusing (as long as it’s not a car that has emotional value), but a deliberate attack on their emotions (like attacking a car with emotional value) would be unforgivable, to a Fluid Thinker, it’s called foreplay… I must say that Solid Thinkers do fight sometimes, viciously, too, BUT they do not fight IN ORDER to hurt the other or to test them, they are fighting to protect and preserve their own independence. They can also play fight, but they will never attempt to emotionally hurt a person they love unlike Fluid Thinker to whom that is arousing and reassuring… both ways and even between friends.)

Related to the above, a Fluid Thinker is only likely to file for a divorce if their spouse has lost their job or is likely to not be able to provide a safe livelihood to their family or is in other way posing a risk to the financial stability of the other spouse or the whole family unit. They do not like financial risk takers or attempts to seek new ways to make money, they want what is tried and tested and will stick to it no matter what, and also demand their children to stick to a steady career plan (a trait that a lot of Solid Thinking children of Fluid Thinker parents find soul-crushing). The way Fluid Thinkers view their spouse’s failure to provide financially is a betrayal of the initial commitment to take care of each other through thick and thin. They don’t care how much money their spouse makes, as long as they’ve worked hard for that money. (A Solid Thinker wants their spouse happy and relaxed, and don’t care how much money they’ve made as long as they’ve enjoyed making the little they made.) The Fluid Thinkers will only tolerate temporary unemployment and have little or no tolerance to any risk-taking in the job front; love is a sacrifice and you are supposed to take any job at all to support your family through thick and thin.

Adjusting Spirit Mirrors will thrive on a set of rules and mutual game plans, they want to pull together at all times. They take a lot of delight out of the idea of “we are a team”.

Haven’t I given enough?

For a Fluid Thinker, the categorizing of “a True Spirit Mirror” should be about “loyal and giving” spirit mirror. They feel they deserve the title of a True Spirit Mirror if they have given enough, sacrificed enough, suffered enough; hated their life enough for you, and they cannot understand why they would be given a “lower label” than that if they have always put everything on the line for the other person. (It’s not a lower label, it’s just that True Spirit Mirrors / Solid Thinkers are more complicated.)


Fluid Thinkers feel it to be natural to give up things that they enjoyed doing prior to settling down with someone special. To begin with, they are very active single people, the more things they do and can give up on, the more leverage they feel they have once they are settling down. “I gave up on this, that and the other to be with you!” they will point out: “what have you ever given up for me?” To give up on things is the way to show love to a Fluid Thinker, giving up things you love for them means much more to a Fluid Thinker than what being given anything non-attached does. Ie. The reason why Fluid Thinking women start dating a rock star and then expect him to give up on his career as a sign of his love; Fluid Thinker stars will, Solid Thinkers will file for a divorce.

Just a word about polygamy

I write a lot about polygamy on this site and keep pointing out how it is a possible alternative to monogamy (surprise, surprise) but because Fluid Thinkers are naturally traditionalist and follow a norm, polygamy is not going to be their cup of tea soon. The closest to a polygamy a Fluid Thinker will normally get is a large family, and a large extended family, and that is all they should be worried about when it comes to polygamy.

The only instance where polygamy will become a right choice to a Fluid Thinker is when it is a cultural norm to form a polygamous, completely 100% committed relationship, again, something that to a Solid Thinker will be a major danger zone, because not only should they divorce one person should they need to leave, they will have to divorce several… And that is always a lot harder.

Also, even though I do feel Fluid Thinkers would be superbly happy in a polygamous union, possibly even more so than most Solid Thinkers, that won’t happen until the society accepts polygamy as a natural form of a relationship.

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