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Sebastyne

A rock fan. A thinker. A psychic empath and a channel, a Tarot reader. A polyandrist; The lover of men, kings, and gods. An eternal romance analyzer.  A romantic pervert. Generation X Rebel. A psycho-spiritual life coach.

The debate on whether or not people are naturally monogamous

Whether you are or not, this is important

I firmly believe people fall into all possible categories in terms of polygamy. Polyandry (FMM+), polygyny (MFF+), polygamy (MM+FF+, or undefined), polyamory (very rubbery), some form of polygamy and polyamory combined, and, ta-daa, monogamy. It is absolutely not a realistic goal to find “the right way to be” for 7 billion individuals in this world if the expectation is that we are all alike because other animals are all alike within their species. Humans can’t even agree on whether we should live on a beach or in the forest, cities or farm, let alone who we should fall in love with, so we can pretty much forget about finding one mutual right way to be in this world.

So the question is… What are you?

What you also must understand is that a) If you want a lot of girls for yourself, there are a lot of girls who want to playfully fight over a guy who enjoys being the center of a lot of women’s attention. b) If you’re a guy who wishes to share your girlfriend with your best mate, doesn’t mean you’re gay or a vile woman-user… Or any other nasty stuff.

How do you know what it is that you are? Shortly… You probably don’t yet. You might have a clue, though. If you’re a girl who likes hanging out with other girls (not all of us do), you might be polygynist. If you’re a guy who likes male company (even if you’re selective about your male friends, being a victim of gender stereotyping and believing men are all assholes and footy-obsessed lunatics you being a rare civilized variant,) you might be a polyandrist, but what really defines it is what turns you on? What excites you? This has nothing to do with your previously held ideals and values that you hold onto because you want to believe yourself to be a good person (ah, haven’t we all believed that!) but what really, ACTUALLY turns you on when you allow yourself a moment to think about it without fearing even your thoughts are offensive to some group of people, as in, women.

The biggest tool of oppression is making you think you’re a bad person or you’re hurting someone when you want a certain kind of a sexual experience. A certain type of a relationship doesn’t automatically hurt anyone. Women can be naturally polyandrist or polygynist or polygamists just the same way as men can be any of those three. We all get our kicks out of some crazy form of -gamy, mono- included. Some people actually do get turned on by the idea of staying monogamy, where as others figure it’s only a couple of letters different from monotony. If the idea of monogamy doesn’t literally turn you on, you’re not a monogamist.

What should turn you on about monogamy? A freaking good question. Bleh. The idea of excluding all others. The idea of others going after your partner, who will systematically turn them down not because they are loyal to you but because they simply don’t want anyone but you, and you feel the same rush turning down offers on your end. Monogamous people also tend not to feel a real connection to anyone but this one person. Not to be mistaken for polyandrist men or polygynist women, who don’t feel a real connection to anyone but one MEMBER OF THE OPPOSITE GENDER, but who do feel a real connection to members of their own gender. (As a polyandrist woman, I can tell you that women, to me, are a mystery and an annoyance I have to deal with on a daily basis. Men are what I love. Love men. I love men, masculinity, male… even men’s voice can get me off sometimes, women… Eh, no. Annoying, unless they are just as crazy about men as I am, in that case, I dig them.)

So. The terms aside, what kind of people would you love to surround yourself with – naked.

By the way, monogamy and polygamy (mixed) tend to work for everyone A BIT, on some level. So we all tend to have that as a fall-back modality, which is annoying to the monogamists and the polygamists because the rest of us mix in their territory and make it harder for them to find an authentic partner. We should get out of their way and be quite aware of what we want, so we don’t make a natural monogamist unhappy by trying to be something we’re not.

That, as an introduction to polystuff… Digging deeper later.

 



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