Sebastyne - blog home

Sebastyne

A rock fan. A thinker. A psychic empath and a channel, a Tarot reader. The lover of men, kings, and gods. An eternal romance analyser. A polyandrist. A romantic pervert. (A psycho-spiritual life coach.)

«

The pro’s and con’s about playing hard to get (as a woman)

You'll excite some men to chase you... but to what end?

It is the oldest trick in the book… Denying sex from a guy until he goes nuts over you. Making yourself a prize in a race with no other competitors than your suitor – or perhaps a few. The best player girls make their virginity pledge a huge public deal, just to arouse the interest of the men who want to claim victory over who gets the girl.

Now…

It’s the dumbest play in the book, too, and here’s why:

  1. You’re turning something truly beautiful into a cheap trick. That makes you nothing more than your hymen, and the men who are after you nothing more than dogs after a bone.
  2. Once the guy claims their victory, they are likely to lose their interest in you, and now you have no virginity to play with left, and you have to try and hold onto a guy who is coaxed by virgins. This world is not going to run out of virgins in a hurry, but you’re not one of them anymore.
  3. You might prolong the loss of your virginity, but no matter how tenacious a guy is, he’s not going to wait forever, and even if he is, there’s always other girls around, the ones who give the sex while the guy’s still after the prize, and if it’s the prize he wants, he doesn’t care what else goes on as long as you, the prize, won’t find out.

On the other hand… And I am not saying you should put out simply because this is authentically the better tactic if you want true love… I’m just going to explain this to you… A girl who doesn’t make herself a prize, but removes all glory from a guy, (up to a point, after all, you have to leave him something to love; yourself, that is,) if you go all the way with him when it feels natural, give yourself to him, not hold back, and allow him to touch you and to be with you, and, whoever comes afterwards, you will not be an object to the men. You will be a human being, and I know this goes against everything you’ve been taught if you’ve raised with the idea of withholding sex. If you liken yourself to a hymen, a hymen you’ll be. If you value yourself based on how many people have touched you before, your value goes down by every partner you’ve got. It’s like saying you’re less of a friend if you have more than one… But if you make sure you are an amazing person to hang out with, you’re fun, smart, engaging, loving, caring, brilliant… The men will fall for you, not a prize, not the object, but the woman, the person you are…

And if a guy loves you when there’s no prize to gain…

He actually does love you.

And then… The putting out thing – the girls who will sleep with any guy at all in order to land one… Well. They’ve got a better idea than the virginity hoarders do. After all, a guy who falls for you even if you have the worst reputation, he must REALLY love you… But no, it’s not the best idea either. Just don’t play. Don’t buy into those games. Have sex when you want it. Give love to whomever you love, without calculating your strategies. Just be you. Undoable? Hardly. You’ll have more fun that way, too, when all of your interactions with men are not calculated attempts to get married or… “respected”.

Chill.

Be real.

Don’t be a moron. Men don’t like morons, and they DO punish you for playing them, by the way… Sometimes brutally. They’ll make you see yourself for who you are; a toy… If you make yourself the prize, you’re a toy. If you make yourself a rag doll to fuck you’re a toy (if you like being the toy, that’s a different thing, but as a strategy to get love, a bad, bad strategy). Don’t be a toy. Be a human being.



Discussion page

 

Read More (some of these are hidden from the front page):
« «
» »

»

I said

You can’t take your hand off the hand of life, But don’t let it walk you. Dance with it.

Sebastyne

Sebastyne Personal Logo (green and red variation)