This Blog

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Good night, and see you later for the first time again.

Goodbye my ghostly friends. ;p

In December 2013, I bought myself a pendulum off eBay.

What possessed me to do it was a Facebook post on a “spiritual, not religious” group that I’d just founded. It didn’t go far, because I got instantly distracted to this day. One of the introduction posts read: “I read the Tarot and use a pendulum.” I knew what Tarot was (and “knew” I couldn’t read them), but I’d never heard of a pendulum. The word seemed glowing on the screen, even though it was written just the same as the rest of the text.

I started writing a reply: “Welcome, what’s a pendulum?!” Then, I realized it would take this person at least 5 minutes to answer, and I didn’t have that kind of time – I was in a rush to find out what it was, I NEEDED TO KNOW NOW, so I googled it instead. I found out it was basically a pointy rock on a string that you use to communicate with the other side. I had to have one.

I don’t think I ever answered that introduction, it’s just that… Whoever wrote that post changed my life, lol.

The pendulum arrived in the mail on the 7th of January 2012, after the post offices opened after the Christmas and New Year season. At first, it didn’t do anything. It just hung on a string as you’d expect a pointy rock to do. I was told, during the two weeks Googling sessions that I used to study the use of these things while waiting for the mail to arrive, that they can do that – not move – and that they need to be “calibrated to your spirit” so that a wedding ring and personal jewellery was sometimes a good substitute for a pendulum as they were always on you. So I gave it a little longer, I kept it in my pocket for a couple of hours, and tried again. Nothing.

Then, at a little past five in the afternoon, I had a private moment, so I tried it again. “Show me ‘yes’.” The pendulum started shaking in the chain, trembling, really, then it took a wild swing clockwise and continued swinging. I stared at it in disbelief. It was not possible, it actually worked! My jaw dropped, for the first and so far the last time in my life. I suspect it might keep dropping again, I may have to strap it onto my skull, but I digress.

I say I became psychic on January 7th, a little after 5.

It is not entirely true, on hindsight, I’ve had experiences that put me in the mildly psychic category, but I never even thought those things were “psychic”. Maybe we all have experiences we don’t notice as being out of the realm of science in the strictest sense of the word, at the time. I do believe we are all a little psychic, even if we’re not fully aware of it.

From that day on, I began studying the psychic field between people. Our connection. And countless people were dragged in, by me knowingly or semi-accidentally into the conversation, if they in any way left a mark in my memory, from social media posts to movies, from ads in magazines I read on the toilet – I deliberately stopped reading magazines on the toilet but wound up swapping for a smart phone, dumbly – but these people were somewhat randomly dragged in, by the scruff of their necks if you will. And… They couldn’t leave.

I had the actual Harry Houdini trying to help some of them “escape,” but many of them wound up being dragged back in, but he indeed found a way out and now comes and goes as he pleases.

By the next year, I no longer needed the pendulum to keep the connection open, and indeed, there was no way to close it. I had completely lost my privacy. I did everything in front of everyone I’d ever heard of and let me tell you I did a good load of screaming like a wild banchee for some of them, my mom most of all, to fuck off. They had a comment on everything I did… Ugh. Still, I kept one half as a safety collateral as I tried to convince a few old frenemies to go – I felt that if these people are allowed in my “private” cicles, they’ll think they’re allowed to stay where everyone else has to go, so I couldn’t let the “public” go. They were my safeguard.

Some of them had an instinct that I needed them, and I had an instinct that I needed them for nothing but to leave. No matter how much I yelled, they buckled down and took it, refusing to budge – and I am still not entirely convinced I am grateful, but indeed I needed them to show me what blind love does – in good and in bad. Is all well that ends well? No, I don’t think so, but that, too, is well in the end. Life is a constant if but then maybe yes no.

This was far from a beautiful affair all and all, but there was always beauty in it. I couldn’t stop laughing and grinning at the jokes we shared, and I must have looked half insane… Hmph… walking up and down the streets of Hobart, while having conversations with everyone who has ever done anything of even remote noteworthiness – the stories I could and will share!

Still, they couldn’t tell me much. Only information lost in history if I had thought to ask. If someone had written about it somewhere, I wouldn’t be able to ask for that knowledge. I know who Mona Lisa is, neener neener neener… I know why pirates wore eye patches… And I know an Amazon cayman who knows the name Jesus. (Guess there was a time he thought it was his name. Maybe it should be. ;p)

But the reason why they were here was not to just reminisce on historical events or to help ghosts cross over to the other side. What they were doing here was to give me an example of all manner of thinking, all types of ways to go about this thing called life. They were all here to state their case for what I was working on. I’d write a text, and there’s someone either trying to take advantage of my wording or imparting their note: “Don’t forget me/us.”

My work isn’t finished, but I will have to get going. There are things left to do that I cannot finish alone without my True Emotion Mirrors and Precious Soulmates with me (also, my brain is exploding), so I’ll have to let my spirit companions go for now. (There’s something I need a little privacy for up ahead. ;p)

I write this post to close a chapter in my life, the last 13 years, that I isolated without even noticing it, barely moving from my bedroom or my sofa, always writing or thinking of writing… (OK, test it, and you’ll find I wrote maybe an hour a day, but… it was always there. A thought brewing, something.) I’ve stayed away from all my friends, some of them still maybe such, I haven’t been home since 2016, nearly a decade, but I got most of it done:

In 2010 or so, I summarized the drive of my life as “to understand everything.” I don’t, yet, but I’ve gotten to a point where I can confidently say I’ve satisfied most of my curiosity and feel it’s safe to move to the next phase.

I hope this post won’t make me a fool as I wake up tomorrow just as ‘ghost famous’ as I am now, lol. (Character flaw, I think, always doubting!)

We’ll find you all who need a party, in one incarnation or another. We’ll have a blast. Or a fist fight. We’ll see. 😀

 

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Interesting by proxy = the source close to the star.

There are people who find themselves interesting by proxy alone. They need someone interesting to be friends with, so that people might be interested in them as a side dish… And then change their mind about them both, elevating the uninteresting person over the interesting one.

The basic play

This is more or less the play, I believe it to be instinctive rather than an act of evil. They may also not FEEL LIKE they’re doing anything wrong. Just something they’ve discovered to work in past lives, maybe then by design, and now they do it out of sheer instinct:

  1. First, establish an idealized connection to the star in the mind of their target individual (like a fan). “Otherworldly friendship.” “We are very tight, very close.” “We’ve been friends since forever.” “I owe so much to Star; they’ve helped me so much,” which means to say “I love Star, I would never hurt them, or speak ill of them, as I care for them as much as Star holds me in high esteem; I am valuable to Star.”
  2. Once the subject believes Star and Friend are as close as friends get, they start implying that Star is selfish and abusive. Still, Friend is a long-suffering victim of a powerful, gorgeous, and well-loved master manipulator that people can’t see the true face of because of their status value.
  3. Gradually, the target person the Friend is speaking to will start seeing Star as a manipulator and a narcissist, and start feeling like Friend deserves protection and comfort. Power-position has shifted.

Variation for attention alone: Persons of interest.

There is a variation to this strategy when we’re talking about a more opportunistic situation. Imagine there’s been a murder, and the murder suspect is of high interest. A former friend can start exaggerating their connection to the suspect (or the victim), even to the police to gain status and a sense of importance in the exciting event.

They may exaggerate their knowledge of the suspect or the matters at hand to gain attention for themselves, without caring for a minute about the disturbance to the investigation they will cause. They are not interested in protecting the murderer, they simply want to feel important.

Judgment and a victim of perception

These people play on a person’s need to be a critical thinker and open-eyed. Ironically, their need not to be a fool is played against them to make a fool out of them. So instead of actually seeing the situation for what it is, a “critical person” will allow themselves to be helped to see whatever the manipulator wants them to see.

A person of interest does not have to be a celebrity either, and definitely a non-famous, attractive person that celebrities take a genuine interest in will be a subject to sabotage of this nature, dressed as “concern” for the celebrity… And sometimes, the concern is real.

Stick around, baby cakes, for tips on deciding who is NOT full of s***.

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Narcissism: rejection and claiming of a label despite behavior.

Another narcissistic quirk that I want to point out just for the sake of curiosity is the habit of rejecting or claiming a label despite one’s behavior. “I want all of Johnny’s money, but I’m not a gold digger!” “I am speaking on behalf of all trans people every chance and broadcast I can, but I am not an activist!” “I gave my children a ton of childhood traumas, but I’m a great mother!” “Yes, well, I start fires here and there, but I’m an awesome firefighter!”

A narcissist doesn’t want to attach negative labels to themselves, but wants the positive ones, and they also don’t want the burden of having to behave in the manner as the labels describe or want to be excused for behaving in that manner. They are basically saying: “I know I do this, but I don’t want you to dislike/judge me for it, so you don’t have to!” or “I know I do/did that, but you still need to admire me for technically being it, you know I want to be admired for it so you can!” There’s an innocence in narcissists that quite blows the mind of a normal person. They don’t see what they do as dishonest, just… “Well, I don’t like that so… I want to be seen this way and I know you think that’d be better, too!”

Narcissists play a game of pretend everywhere they go. It’s not malicious in intent, it’s just their way of looking at the world. I’m not saying you should accept it because it’s not malicious, I’m just saying it’s not malicious because it isn’t. It’s just like children playing pretend; they assume you love the game just as adults love to play pretend with children. No harm in it… They just become better at the game, in some sense, but this “I know I suck cock but that doesn’t make me gay” -way of thinking is just one of the developmental phases.

 

 

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Cult Leaders wanted. (Not by me, tho.)

I want to liberate people. I want people to be able to be their authentic selves and find whoever loves them for whatever they are. There are a TON of people who look up to me to whip them into shape and to mold them to my image (thinking that’d be possible without any will to do anything for anybody else but me, being completely fucking blind to anybody but me and thinking somehow they can fucking help me achieve something I want.) There are also people who fight their urge and wish to whip people into shape, and fear they’re breaking some moral rule, feeling that way.

You all need to meet up. If you only want to please ONE PERSON, your leader/boss/friend you’re a Young Soul*, and if you really want people to worship the ground you walk on, you’re a Dog Thinking Alpha. An alpha dog. You guys do you.

I’ve got a different jam but I’ll try to help you all meet up, because, well, that’s the kind of shit Cat Thinking people do.

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Love whomever you love….

Despite my usual tone in my posts, I am not telling you to get rid of people who you love. I’m explaining to Old Souls* why it’s vital for them to not hang onto accessory relationships. The kind they have in order to gain approval or admiration from moral people. If you have friends who are there simply to flag your moral superiority or moral deeds in general, you are still hanging onto some false ego. You cannot use other people (like handicapped people, mentally challenged people, black people (same category, lol), uglier women than yourself or uglier than you truly find sexually attractive, etc) to make yourself look moral.

That said, if you truly love someone for whatever reason (maybe because they’re far sexier than anyone else, maybe, maybe you love someone butt ugly and stupid because they’re goofy and funny, I don’t know), whatever you love them for, love them as you do. Radical acceptance. No judgment on my part. If someone makes you happy by being there, and they feel the same way about you, all’s good. Let them run you to the ground if you feel they’re worth it.

Get rid of everyone who isn’t worth their shit to you, tho, and feel no judgment from me.

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Men with money: buy a wife, pay a whore.

Men with money - the difference between a wife and a whore...

Bear with me as I use the word ‘whore.’ 😀

Money is the biggest problem in relationships, as you may well know. The bigger your pay gap, the bigger the problem, perhaps. I’ve had nothing but money problems with my rich True Emotion Mirrors, and today, I finally hit the nail on the head: “You pay a whore, but you buy a wife!”

Payment is made to a temporary lover. A wife is supposed to be permanent. The wife is paid in flashy terms. “MINE.” A whore is paid discretely. Politely and with respect.

“As long as you wear MY dress.”

Another way we recently addressed this issue of me having money, too, was that we all realized that we don’t give gifts to each other; we’re married. No. “You wear MY suit, I wear YOUR dress.” You are mine; I am yours. I don’t give you anything; my possessions are my extension, and you live in me, and I live in you. As I wrap myself in the dress you own, I wrap your arm around me.

With the wrong person, this is icky. Disrespectful as it is, that’s just the thing: we LOVE IT when our true lover disrespects us. This is the difference between a true lover and a whore… Even if your true lover is officially your whore and your wife is truly the woman you merely pay.

If she, too, has money.

When your wife is equally wealthy (or wealthier than you) do you feel comfortable with that? Would you be happier, if you allowed her to buy you, too… To wrap you in extensions of herself?

It depends on how you want it.

Whether you pay or buy your wife is up to you, of course. The emotions you’ll experience will be very different with each. The reactions will be different. The woman you respect more should be your wife, but she isn’t always the one men respect more, is she?

Do you respect the woman for whom you pay more than the one you buy? That’s a question for you to answer.

It is related to this that I mean when I say: “A wife is often just a glorified whore.”

Figure it out.

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Interesting only by being in the way of your true interests.

interesting by being in the way

Some people are not interested in you until you have a goal, ambition, or focus. They won’t give a person a time of day until that person knows what (more) they want. Why? Now, you are distractable. You can be annoyed instead of entertained. All they have to do for your attention is to get in the way. Without an interest, they need to BE the interest, and there’s a high chance of being found out to be ordinary and boring.

When a person is interested in something else—work, a project, or another person—they are already alert and not bored. They don’t need entertainment; they’re engaged. Now, a person who is not entertaining, funny, philosophical, or helpful can get some good attention by just being in the way, distracting you from your work or your goal of finding true love.

Now, the only thing they need to have is thick skin and not go away.

These people don’t need anything but a thick skin to survive this game and to marry you. All they need to do is NOT to GO AWAY when you snap at them, not to take anything personally, and to always return for more conflict (that, to them, is merely the attention they seek). And a bonus: Give you some crazy sex that you can’t refuse to seal the deal.

It looks like interest in YOU, but they are attracted to the opportunity to steal attention from something “less interesting” than they are. They don’t care about who you are or what you’re into; they care about being able to steal your attention, which, to them, means you MUST love them. If you are 95% interested in work, and your attention shifts, you must be 100% interested in them… Even though how they get there is to just get in the way.

It’s kind of like how you love a fly or a mosquito in your wedding suite.

You, on the other hand, feel like they’re willing to suffer rejection and humiliation for you; they must really love you, right?

No, wrong. They don’t care about you. You and your true ambitions are there to bolster their false ego… But only if they think they are fighting for something they can’t truly have. And there’s a good chance you’re avoiding giving them attention or commitment because you’re just not interested. And THAT is what keeps them interested.

Therefore:

Give them what they want without a fight: Your undivided attention.

Now. There are many ways to get rid of them, but some of them can get people killed, so let’s not go there. Let’s do this instead: Be an easy catch… But under an NDA, if you have a reputation to protect.

After they’ve chased you for a while, and you’ve rejected them a few times, eventually turn 180 and go “all in.” Let them have their date. During this date, please give them your undivided attention, but do it in a way that will put them on the spot: Assume they’ll entertain you. They’ll have to prove themselves to be the one you want. Tell them as much: “Alright, you’ve got my attention. Show me you’re the one. Entertain me.”

When they say they thought you’d take them on a date, laugh and remind them who has been the one chasing who. “Oh no, honey, you’re obviously good at this stuff; I’m just a guy buried in work all the time; I don’t have time to think about dates; that’s your job.” If you’ve been openly dating, just tell your date. Obviously, you’re no good at them as you’re still at large, so it’s on your date to make a night out of it.

Don’t make it easy for them.

Then, don’t pretend to be having a good time. You may reward them for “good behavior” by openly enjoying yourself if you do and want to give them that. Otherwise, don’t make any effort to conceal your true feelings. They may take it for a game if you try to act too unimpressed. Acting hard to get or difficult to impress is an old pick-up strategy. That known, they may take it as a positive sign, not a negative.

At all times, try to have a real conversation about your companion, not about yourself or your possible shared interests rather than yourself. Ask honest questions, and don’t be afraid to hurt their feelings; maybe it will lead to something good. Such as “So what gives you the self-confidence to chase a man like me when you’re plus-sized and not very attractive otherwise? What am I missing?” (Or whatever else you honestly think.) And react authentically to what they respond. Don’t be afraid to be unimpressed. (If they mention commitment as their #1 asset, remind them that you’re actually a catch, and most people would find it very easy to commit to you, but it’s a lot harder for a person to convince you to do so.)

Why talking about them will work.

Obviously, if this is a person you “didn’t see,” letting them talk about themselves will give you a clearer idea of who they are. It’s possible (albeit honestly not very likely) that your actual true love is chasing you up and down, and you don’t notice. The likelihood is that this person is attracted to your distraction, not you.

If they are not the right one, making them talk about themselves will put them on the spot of having to be interesting to you. This is surprisingly difficult for an attention-hungry person to do. If they are the right one, they’ll get the opportunity to tell you as much. Direct the attention away from you if you’re famous because it’s easy to focus on your awesomeness. Don’t fall into the trap of how used to attention you are. “You know a lot more about me than I know about you. You talk.” Don’t let them solely focus on praising your work, either. Make them talk about themselves, not you.

Give them a real chance to impress you, but don’t pretend any of it. Don’t exaggerate your disinterest, nor your interest. Be as snarky and dismissive as you truly feel, but also give them every compliment you think they deserve. Make them feel like they are applying for a job from a neutral party.

When they finally storm out, telling you that it’s no wonder you’re not more popular with men/women, remind them they’re under an NDA, congratulate yourself on work well done, and go back to your life.

In general: When dating, be more interested than interesting.

If you’re anything like me, you try to get rid of people by showing a lack of interest rather than interest. This is like catnip to narcissists and rejection junkies, and ladder climbers. Instead, show constant interest, whether you’re interested in a person or not. If you only want to entertain and be the center of attention, you give the impression that’s all you want, and being “the right one” for you is super easy.

Instead, make people talk about themselves a lot more… And react to what they tell you authentically. Be more interested (in their ultimate humiliation) than interesting. That should get rid of the wannabes.

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Are celebrities more likely to be narcissistic than other people?

There is a persistent idea, that celebrities are almost systematically narcissistic. Ironically, this belief, I believe, comes from… Ehrm, narcissists. Let me back up a bit.

Firstly, trying to define what a narcissist actually is is hard enough, as the accusation of narcissism is often responded to with an accusation of narcissism, and backed up by a narcissist deflecting the accusation.

My best description of a narcissist is as follows:

  1. A person who uses any means necessary to manipulate a relationship into being (admire me and date/befriend me) and then attempts to force it to be life-long and co-dependent (fear me/pity me/help me (be better than others)).
  2. A person who would, upon accusing another person of narcissism, use that accusation as a reason why the assumed narcissist is obligated to continue the relationship with them. (A healthy person would never wish to remain in a relationship with a person they accuse of being a narcissist.)

A narcissist will always attempt to prove they are ideal, whatever their perceived ideal is

It is a false idea, that a narcissist will always wish to present themselves as a celebrity, talent, or some type of superior person. It depends on the group’s ideal what they will thrive to be seen as. If they are in a group of philosophers, they’ll attempt to pass for the number one most philosophical individual in the group. If they are with a bunch of habitual alcoholics, they will attempt to remind everyone how they have more reason than anyone else to complain and drink. When dealing with celebrities, the narcissist is more than likely the one who declares themselves too modest, too down to Earth, and too good for chasing such shallow pursuits as money and fame.

If you manage to CHANGE their idea of what is ideal, they will attempt to prove they match the description perfectly. If the public ideal changes, the narcissist will change along with it.

A narcissist is or thinks they are an inherently boring person

The main problem a narcissist feels is that they are thoroughly boring. The truth is that people often feel that they are the opposite of what they truly wish to be; a person who wants to be thought to be a brave person thinks they’re a coward, a person who wishes to be truly smart thinks they’re stupid, and a beautiful person will think of themselves ugly, because if you want to be a certain thing more than anything else, nothing seems to be enough in that regard to ANYONE, this is not a narcissistic trait.

It’s just that a narcissist thinks they’re boring because they want people to think of them as being interesting and engaging. Therefore, they turn out to be boring, as they INVENT interesting stories about themselves, and people get bored with the same end result; no matter how interesting they may seem, eventually, you will find out that the exciting trait about them turns out to be a lie, and that’s ultimately, thoroughly boring. They also never seem to think that the truth is interesting enough, so even though many of them are truly beautiful, talented, interesting people, to a narcissist, that is never enough and must be accompanied by idiotic lies and stories that eventually null their entire personality to nothing at all.

Celebrities, however, are often the opposite. TRUE celebrities are TRULY interesting to people. Some celebrities consciously try to play themselves down so that people would stop digging and thinking their lives to be SO interesting they are going through their trash just to find one more clue as to who they are as people.

The end game of a narcissist is to secure a life-long bond with another person

A narcissist truly doesn’t feel they are enough to convince anyone to stay with them for life. They fear abandonment and being alone. They do everything in their power to convince others to stay with them, but they truly believe they are too boring to be with. They see “being interesting” as the duty of someone who people want to be with, which is part of the deal, for sure, but not the whole thing.((To be with someone for life, one of the most important traits is to be able to be calming and reassuring to another person. To be able to uplift a person during their times of trouble, to be able to listen, and to take part in another person’s fears and sorrows. Being interesting is for entertainers, but is only a small fraction of what makes for a permanent life partner.))

This starts by trying to make themselves seem admirable, ideal, and able to provide opportunities in life in both financial, romantic, and sexual. “Whatever you need, I can provide, you don’t really need anyone else. Focus your efforts on me.”

Then, they will gradually start reminding you exactly how dependent you are on their love and support, and how you can’t truly cope with the world without them. The more successful they are in this pursuit, the more strategies they employ to keep you hooked.

Very importantly to celebrities, a narcissist will attempt to hold something over your head: “If you leave me, I will reveal this to the media. If you come back, I will make it all go away. I can make it all go away.”

Narcissists like to control celebrities because having that link on your resume will get you anywhere even if the relationship with you fails.

To calm their own fears of abandonment, they will tell themselves in any way possible, that they know how to do relationships. They “win” relationships. They can CONTROL other people in their relationships, and outsider’s perspectives to those relationships.

To be a celebrity is a vulnerable position, but tempting to a narcissist

An A-list celebrity must take a lot of criticism and rejection during their career. They must take it from critics, fans, colleagues, friends, family, everyone, truly. As such, a narcissist is much more likely found among the critics than in the position of the celebrity. They are more likely the manager or agent than the celebrity. In such a position, they will be able to control the person, and that’s what a narcissist wants.

A narcissist is much more likely the celebrity’s spouse than the celebrity themselves, especially a long-term spouse of a celebrity, I may point out rather cynically. The admiration is easier to get, and the narcissist enjoys the position where they control the celebrity’s emotions and life. When a celebrity is also seen as the more likely cheater or likely to divorce, the narcissist is always able to blame them for all troubles in the marriage, hailing themselves a hero for putting up with their own position as your spouse.

A narcissistic flair-up

There are people who are USED TO being the most interesting person in the room. They BELIEVE it is THEIR JOB to be, too. They are often made into celebrities and don’t TRULY have narcissistic personality disorder. It’s just that when a person like that is put in the same room with a ton of OTHER very interesting people, and if they happen to genuinely ADMIRE some of them, a person like this will easily experience what I call a narcissistic flair-up. Suddenly they feel they are NOT being interesting enough, not talented enough, they are not truly doing their job that well, and they may start to unravel a little. But this is not a NARCISSIST we’re talking about, at least, not yet.

Everybody may have one or two people who makes them question their own status, and one might argue that a part of being a popularity contest winner, being a little narcissistic and competitive in being interesting, entertaining, and engaging is kind of a necessary trait… So is being a celebrity or a narcissist truly just a question of being good at being awesome and desperately wanting to be but failing?

The narcissist will target the weak link, the low-hanging fruit, and unbelievably, to many, this is a celebrity

The narcissist will look for whatever target they can to form a life-long permanent relationship with them through manipulation and force. They are not truly very fussy about who they’ll wind up with, and they don’t REALLY care whether they wind up with a celebrity or a habitual street drunk, as long as they’re with someone they can control.

Different narcissists know the buttons to press with different people. While some know drug dependency is a great way to control another person and keep them with you, others know how easy it is to manipulate a good person into their servant by DEMANDING they PROVE to you they’re a good person. Others rely on playing on the fear of exposure or public shaming, but whatever the angle, it is designed for the person they’re targeting.

If you don’t love me, you must be a psychopath

People tend to have conflicting emotions and ideas about themselves. While a narcissist rarely feels they are quite enough for ALL people to admire, they feel the desperate need to ensure THAT PARTICULAR PERSON, their permanent attachment MUST keep admiring them at all times. They feel that “this person is so far beneath me that they MUST LOVE ME”. They want to ensure that there is at least one person who they can truly count on to love them, and there is TWO ways to obtain this love:

  1. To convince another person they are beneath them.
  2. To acquire a person who has got the wish to be THE MOST LOVING person people know.

The narcissist will always play on these two points. “You are not above me, you’re NOT TOO GOOD to love me forever” and “if you don’t love me, you are not a good person. If you don’t love me, you are faulty and can’t love ANYBODY for reals!”

The final play: I am so pathetic you MUST forgive me!

The narcissist tends to try and convince how YOU are faulty in ways that should stop you from wanting to end the relationship with them. If you have actually managed to convince them that they are WORTHY OF BEING DUMPED due to how horrible person they are, they will pull out their final trump card: “But I was abused as a child”, “you can’t leave me/blame me because X”, “I am this way because *insert horror story here*”. They deflect the blame from themselves and try to make it seem that they had no control over the way they turned out and they’ll need you to extend yet another extra level of compassion and pity toward them.

These stories may or may not be real. They may have SOME relation to the truth but are more than likely exaggerated as much as is needed for a good effect.

A normal person can tell you harrowing life stories and not attempt to obligate you to prove to them that they can still trust humanity. They stand on their own two feet and deal with their own issues rather than dump them on you.

You tell me… Where do you see the majority of narcissists in your life?

 

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Should celebrities date their own fans?

should Celebrities date their own fans

I absolutely believe celebrities should date their own fans. Not only would it be more fun for everybody, I believe it would boost their career further – there’s always that hope in a fan that maybe one day… To make it a slightly more realistic possibility… Wow. In addition, it would help to combat celebrity cat fishers. Let me explain how.

Cat fishers make it seem that you WANT TO date fans but are NOT ALLOWED TO.

Cat fishers play on the popular idea that celebrities are on a bit of a leash by their managers. Their “handlers,” as Johnny Depp sarcastically expresses it. This allows cat fishers to explain almost anything away: “I have to keep you a secret. I have to use a secret profile to do this. This is why I have to be discrete, my love. My life is made of secrets. I’m broke and a prisoner in a golden cage. I just want someone real. Help me.”

That explanation is a lot harder to believe if you make it clear that you date whomever you want.

Not dating your fans seems fake and controlled.

I personally don’t like it at all that celebrities would deliberately NOT date their fans. It seems like a huge waste of potential love for everybody.

I am also an advocate for polyamory, but that’s beside the point, a single monogamist should absolutely allow themselves to look beyond the barrier.

It looks childish to the adult onlooker to think that a celebrity would replace their parents with managers, and accept it like a teen ager “daddy doesn’t want me to date plebes.” It’s not a good look.

Every fan secretly wishes for a personal connection.

Sometimes, the fan wishes for a personal connection or dating their favorite celebrity secretly even from themselves.

I’m the biggest fan of Nuno Bettencourt, who is famously professional musician, no funny business whatsoever. And he’s drop dead gorgeous, even approaching 60.

 

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As a fan, I was a very professional fan. No funny business, respecting his wishes to not be regarded as a sex symbol. Yet, when the news arrived that he’d gotten married, I found myself sink a little. And then I laughed at myself: “Ha, I knew it, you hypocrite. You absolutely thought ‘one day…’”

Heck. I still think “maybe one day…” 😀

Celebrities should date their own fans for their own good, more than anything.

If you are in any way ‘unavoidably famous’, there is absolutely 0 chance that your true love, your True Emotion Mirror is not a fan of yours. How could they not be? If you namely cut out your fans from your dating pool, you will, without any doubt, also cut out your True Emotion Mirrors from the potential partners you might wind up with.

That is the biggest, most obvious, most to-the-core true reason why celebrities should date their own fans.

Just avoid dating crazed fans. Date BIG fans, but not the crazed ones. 😀

Celebrities should date their own fans openly and publicly for maximum fun.

I honestly think celebrities should openly and publicly date their own fans whenever possible, for as long as possible. I don’t mean they should instantly commit to a fan, (or anybody else for that matter), or take it too seriously. Taking cute ones out on dates should absolutely be one of their favorite things to do. In fact, celebrities should swear not to commit to anyone lightly. Look for absolute true love, nothing short of it. Looking for TRUE LOVE should be fun and casual.  Non-committal until love hits.

You should keep your standards high. Very high before committing… And they should show an example to others while they’re at it. People take dating and committing as the same thing, which is dumb as.

Another, a more indirect way is to give your fans a hint. “I date at ZEN METAL Wanted on Second Life, but I won’t tell you my avatar’s name.” Or “I am a member of the Carnal Elite.” Plugity-plug. 😉

 

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Celebrity’s true love is certainly talented but perhaps not famous.

Talented but not famous

If you became famous in your 20s, it may be difficult to understand why your equal, someone just as smart (or smarter), just as good-looking (or better looking), or just as talented (or more so), isn’t famous. I can give you a number of reasons, and “luck” plays a little part in that. A celebrity’s True Emotion Mirror might be talented but not famous. They’re equally talented as the celebrity themselves for certain; fame is not certain.

Showing maturity and modesty at a young age may leave a talented person without fame.

Youth is made for the young, and sometimes it is wasted on the young. Some youngster’s youth may make them act maturely at a young age and make “mature” decisions against their own self. This means that they may not awaken to the reality that they’ve wasted chances and opportunities until much later in life. They’ve potentially gotten themselves stuck into relationships and families they can’t just shake now, living with responsibilities that they didn’t have in their 20’s.

Teenagers and twenty-somethings should rush to pursue their dreams quite shamelessly because it’ll be a lot less socially acceptable in your 30’s or 40’s. It starts to become OK again at 60, but it may not be nearly as fun to do anymore.

Not a risk taker, or respectful of their parent’s worry.

Lots of people, women especially, are less willing to take big risks to find fame. Instead of risking homelessness in a big city, they may seek fame remotely, but it’s a lot harder to do – and was even more so before the Internet.

No connections. No luck. Talent. No fame.

“It’s not what you know is who you know” is one of the truest cliché’s. Without connections to the right people it is very difficult to find anyone to appreciate your talent or help you forward with it.

Without connections, you’ll have to rely on luck – or be so pushy and disrespectful toward everybody that you push open doors that are not opened for you… But it maybe so that you’re so far from these circles that you can’t even get to a door to push it open.

This is probably the biggest reason for someone to be talented but not famous for it.

USA and Internationals

Fame is deeply linked with USA, I think we all internationally agree. Americans like to ignore the rest of the world a lot. There is some amazing talent outside the US, but US likes to ignore it.

There is no saying your True Emotion Mirror is an American.

Different focus on honing talent

Different places also treat raw talent differently. Where many American schools have performing art programs, many other schools and countries do not. While music and art programs may exist, their focus is a lot less commercial or performative than in American schools.

Also, US is notoriously different in NOT having a tall poppy syndrome to speak of. Americans LOVE their ‘tall poppys’ where other countries discourage “attention seeking and showiness.”

Success is different

Where US pushes people to succeed, elsewhere the focus is on creating a family and making a living. Anything else is seen as some type of a negative. Success is more accidental than an actual calculated pursuit.

Intelligence in other countries is often pushed toward academia rather than performance arts, too. Therefore, celebrity is not as universally admired nor supported as it is in the US. That said, it’s also not as competed over, therefore becoming famous in another country other than the US is not seen as much of an achievement, it’s often almost a volunteer job. 😀

Fear of running out of time before reaching fame

Sometimes the distance from where you are at now and where you want to go seems like an unachievable task. You’ll have to have trust in all kinds of miracles sometimes to breach the cap. Many decide not to even try, knowing that the effort is more than realistically wasted, regardless of how talented they may be.

Ambition and realism are also a horrifying combination. If you know you won’t be satisfied with national fame, but you can’t see yourself reaching international fame, you’ll more than likely give up without trying.

And eventually, you’ll find other distractions and comfort.

Life happens even when you’re not trying too hard. Eventually, people find something to distract themselves with. People, jobs, kids, romantic partners, even if not perfect, they’re something.

A smart person will find something to keep their mind busy, and it doesn’t have to be in any way productive to work as a distraction, either.