Why do people prefer their Internet friends?

The reason we are born into a certain family and a certain group of real-life friends is somewhat complicated. In many cases, you could say it’s a random occurrence that worked well enough to make it a permanent arrangement. I mean, while a lot of people don’t feel much of a connection to their families and a seemingly random sample of people they have to pick their friends out of, they are quite potentially permanent Trail Companions* in their lives.

Now, this leads to a situation where the Normal Person* feel great about this union, but the Savants* do not. The Savants* usually feel there is a whole section of themselves that they are NOT ALLOWED to show their friends and family. If they bring this stuff up in a conversation, they may have been even punished as children for having mentioned such a thing – perhaps not strongly, but they may have been informed talking about such things is not OK. They may have noticed certain topics make certain types of people visibly nervous, or irritable because your thoughts are obscure, weird, and oh, you’re so long-winded, too.

If you can’t stand long-winded people, you can rest assured that they won’t be wasting their breath on you, but are busy writing blogs and talking to people who tell them: “Oh, I love your long emails!” rather than “can you get to the point already?” (My mother told me, point blank, that she didn’t have the patience to read my emails when I lived on the other side of the world. There are not many more hurtful things you can say to a Savants* child, but my mother has certainly managed many of those, too.) If you don’t have the time to listen to someone’s true thoughts and feelings, they’ll find those people online, and the Internet is full of those people – was, at least. They’re getting harder to find as the Normal Person* have flooded the sanctuary that us the Savants* felt the Internet once was. Now instead of the haven of free speech, it’s a game of “know the list of things you’re not supposed to say out loud”, but you know, for the time being, free speech is still a thing.

Most families and groups of friends are not safe havens for free speech. People with a lot to say, don’t tend to say a lot near their real-life friends and family. There are no ears in those groups. No acceptance. No joy of hearing someone say out loud what everybody is thinking!

If your loved ones prefer their online friends, it’s natural, but also a sign that you don’t love and accept your loved ones as much as they need to. And in this case, when I say “love” I don’t mean physical care. I’m sure they’re well-fed and clothed and safe and all, but what I mean is that you don’t allow room for their personality, as you don’t love that side to them – the thinking and feeling, contemplating, rationalizing, logical part of them that is, at the end of the day, the IMPORTANT part of who they are… And you’re ignoring the important part because it’s also the difficult part. You don’t have to accept them, you can’t help where you were born or what you brought into this world, either, but you have to let them bond with other people, even if your relationship was OK. People have the right to have multiple important relationships – even if half of them were online.

Also, if the people in your life prefer the Internet for its games and Tik Tok videos to you… Well. If you can’t beat them, join them. Maybe there’s a game your kids would love to teach you or a platform your kids would love to show you? They might not want you to be EVERYWHERE they go, especially if they’re a teen, but they might love to have you take part in some of it? Doesn’t hurt to ask. Kid-parent TikToks are awesome.

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