Why the Normal Person* shouldn’t waste time trying to get a Savants* to love them.

the Normal Person* often try to make the Savants* feel love toward them. The problem is that the way the Normal Person* and the Savants* experience love is vastly different. What ignites it is like night and day. The closest thing to love the Normal Person* gets with a Savants* is pity, compassion, and obligation. They are a far cry from love as the Savants* experience it, and in a relationship like that, the Savants* will always feel short-changed and unhappy.

A marriage between a Savants* and the Normal Person* has a time limit.

What is important for the Normal Person* to know is that a relationship with a Savants* almost always in modern society, where divorce is no longer a taboo, has a time limit. It is completely up to the Savants* whether they’ll honor the vows or not. They won’t cheat (like the Normal Person* would), but they will divorce you if they fall in love with someone else, especially their True Emotion Mirror, and there’s very little you can do about it. The Savants* cannot dictate who they fall in love with and don’t. They can literally fall in love at first sight, so a new person at their place of work might be the only thing needed for a divorce a few months later.

Polyamorous relationships between the Savants* and the Normal Person* are just a stepping stone to a less dramatic split up.

I always suggest polyamory as a solution to all relationship problems, except those between the wrong types of partners. When the Savants* and the Normal Person* form a polyrelationship, they’re bound to find that the Savants* will leave once the Normal Person* have found a new connection. Not out of jealousy but out of knowing that the Normal Person*(s) will be fine and secure now and that their pity and compassion are no longer needed.

the Savants* marry the Normal Person* without being in love with them ALL THE TIME.

This is something you really, really need to understand. The Savants* can, will, and do marry the Normal Person* under pressure to do so, even though they’re not in love with that person. The reasons for this are multiple, and something the Normal Person* will find difficult to understand. Mainly, they are easily swayed to believe they “owe” you something, or that you’re their best bet to happiness, not because they believe it, but because they pessimistically stop believing in true love and think you’re as good as they can find, without it being much good at all.

A HUGE part of the reason why I begun to write this website to begin with is to ensure the Savants* that their “rose colored glasses” and their faith in true love, love at first sight, soulmates and incarnational bonds is valid, and that they need to stick firm to those beliefs and stop marrying the Normal Person* in weak moments when they momentarily lose faith in true love and are willing to cut their losses and accept the first marriage prospect or proposal coming their way. NEVER marry a Savants* on a rebound.

the Normal Person* DO NOT UNDERSTAND what the Savants* need in order to be happy.

You cannot keep a Savants* happy. A Normal Person* has no ability to fully comprehend what a Savants* needs in order to feel happy and full of life. What is more than enough for the Normal Person*, is “I’m going to kill myself if this doesn’t change” -stuff for a Savants*. Every suicide victim ever, who “had a family who loved him” is a Savants* at the end of their rope, with no permission to complain about how their life turned out, given “they have a family who loves him.” Enough for the Normal Person*, potentially a ball, chain, and a cage for a Savants*. (And I know the Normal Person* don’t really know what’s so terrible about being indefinitely locked in anyway, but it’s suicide-stuff for a Savants*.)

the Savants* cannot tolerate cheating. The Normal Person* expect it to be forgiven.

There’s a lot of things that the Normal Person* expect the Savants* to forgive in a relationships, most glaringly, cheating. While the Savants* are very sexually driven, they are far less likely to cheat in a relationship than the Normal Person* are. The Normal Person* can still consider themselves to be “in love” and still cheat on their partner, where as a Savants* would NEVER CHEAT on a partner they wouldn’t leave at a drop of a hat if they had the chance. Therefore, if a Savants* cheats, a part of them wants to get caught – not to be forgiven, but to be given the order to leave, but when the Normal Person* cheats wishing to be caught, they want to feel the rush of forgiveness from their loving partner.

This is a MASSIVE difference in a relationship expectations between the Normal Person* and the Savants*, and it will never resolve favourably in any way. The best solution I’ve ever heard is to open the marriage for other partners, but forgiveness is not really on the table from the Savants*’s side, just accepting that things are shit and that’s all there is to it.

Marriages between the Savants* and the Normal Person* are held together with duct tape.

This is the thing. Marriages between the Savants* and the Normal Person* can LAST, technically, for a long time, yes. But the sense of security and happiness that a marriage should bring simply isn’t there. It’s somewhat of a duct-tape scenario for both parties. The Normal Person* has to try real hard to please the Savants*, often feeling utterly confused about their happiness, or the Savants* has to resolve it with themselves that happiness is simply not in the cards for them, maybe for the children, maybe it’s karma, maybe it’s just a punishment from God or whatever, but they’ll have to stay put and that’s final.

One solution: Set correct expectations.

You could marry a Savants* with correct expectations. You do it to breed children, for example. Maybe you need a “staff partner” to build a business in a conservative environment and you need someone to look after certain jobs or whatever. In that way, a marriage can work between a Savants* and the Normal Person*, but in these scenarios, the Savants* will refuse to mix feelings into it. Then, it’s a business solution, or somewhat of a practical marriage, and they don’t wish to confuse things with emotion.

Marrying someone with a expiry date also kind of defeats the point of a marriage, but this is the only real way to make it work somewhat.

RED FLAG: the Savants* are very easy to get along with.

This is such an important point for the Normal Person* to understand: the Savants* are easy to get along with because they don’t intend to stay. In fact, the Normal Person* who don’t intend to stay are easy to get along with – it’s just that they move on a lot faster than the Savants*. They’re rarely so strapped for company as the Savants* are, and they are in much more of a rush to tie a knot or make commitments than the Savants* are.

People who don’t intend to stay with you don’t see a reason to argue about incompatibility issues, or to forge you into their ideal person because they’ll be gone in a minute. They’re not making a nest with you, so they’ll allow you stay the way you are, completely.

the Savants* also believe in individuality, and they find it WRONG to change someone – particularly someone they have no real intent to stay with – into their own liking, so while you are with them they are a BREEZE to get on with. THAT IS A HUGE RED FLAG, not something to build a relationship on. Every true relationship requires at least some drama before it works, but to a Savants*’s liking, that drama has to be a) meaningful b) minimal. As in: only pick a fight over what matters, never about something trivial for the sake of an argument.

For a Savants* to ask you to sacrifice another relationship or even a haircut for their liking is a HUGE, HUGE sign of a true commitment. If they’ve never asked you for anything much, they’re not going to stay.

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