the narcissist’s instant “counterattack” if you criticize them in any way…

Imagine (or remember) a situation when you’ve accidentally caused someone trouble or mild grievance. Maybe you accidentally sent a group email with everybody’s addresses visible to all recipients or caused a 50-cent difference in the cash register at the end of the day at work. A minor error that anyone could have done, you see? When someone points that out to you, even in a friendly way, “Oops, I think you’re 50 cents short,” or “Next time, maybe use the BCC -function in your email client to make sure you don’t show everybody’s addresses to every recipient in the future.” The Narcissist is very likely to answer such critique in an aggressive tone, perhaps pointing out an error you made another time if they’re lucky.

In this way, the Narcissist is keen to make a mountain out of a molehill, and they tend to do this… Quite a bit. A normal person would respond to these situations with an “Oh, oops, I’m sorry, I’ll fix that.” or “Oh, I didn’t notice, I didn’t know that was an issue, I’ll pay attention to it in the future…” Or something similar. The reason is that a normal person knows everyone makes mistakes, and typically people don’t do things like this ON PURPOSE because that, to them, would be silly.

“Any argument is an opportunity to make a friend.”

A Narcissist might be looking for that all-important attention, however. They feel that whenever they have an opportunity to pick a fight, they also have an opportunity to make a new friend. Therefore, an accident or not, they’ll jump to the opportunity to argue.

They will also test your boundaries and… Usability by being really inflexible about any mistakes you might have made. The more patiently you answer their accusations, the better they figure you can be made to jump when they say jump. The more you’re willing to serve and submit, yes?

Your servitude, to them, isn’t for granted. They will pay you – they literally mean it as a favor – to show you their ability to “keep you in check,” which they believe to be the cause of some “deliberate accidents.” Since you got caught of an error, CLEARLY, you’re looking for someone reliable to make sure you’ll never err again in your life. And they are more than happy to provide their services in that.

A the Narcissist may pretend to be dumber than they are just to make a friend.

the Narcissist can actually put on airs of absolute incompetence to give people the incentive to help them and to show them boundaries and a form to fill – which makes them feel cared for and secure.

The financial cost of fixing the Narcissist’s pretend errors and pandering to their equally pretended fears and insecurities must be astronomical. Every IT company uses countless man-hours to mitigate this need to pretend to have made an error, blaming it on whoever they can blame it on. Many web companies don’t even offer customer support for this very reason.

Mark Zuckerberg, who is the CEO and main owner of arguably the most the Narcissist -appealing online platform in the world, Facebook, has faced all manner of congress-level disputes multiple times, answering to absolutely ridiculous accusations of who knows what… Originating without a doubt, from the Narcissist.

An Idealist* will instantly counter-snipe only when they’re absolutely fed up and lost all respect and love toward their “friend.”

An Idealist* doesn’t respond with anger or instant counter -sniping until they’ve completely lost all respect toward the other party. A the Narcissist doesn’t bother sniping until they have respect for someone. This is why these two wind up in NEVER ENDING to-and-fros if the argument starts somewhere, it will never quiet until the Idealists* cuts all contact to the Narcissist. (The Narcissist never would. They’re having the time of their life, in their mind, making fabulous friends… Building what they imagine to be “intimacy.”)

Ignore them.

The worst thing you can do to the Narcissist is to ignore them, and it’s also the best thing you can do for yourself – as much as you can, IGNORE IT. Cancel culture, #MeToo alerts – Lover-thinking* gold, that the Idealists* can largely ignore by default. They’re ENTIRELY too easily exploited for this purpose. (What a way to get that old crushes’ attention back!) (Wait for evidence before you judge ANYONE accused in #MeToo style.)

Subscribe to get a Daily Message