The allure of the unattainable – are True Emotion Mirrors that?

Yes and no.

Some people will absolutely label the unattainable person a True Emotion Mirror, for sure. That isn’t what True Emotion Mirror -description describes, however. That connection will last and renew itself over and over and over. That love can never be fully exhausted. It’s there, it’s permanent, it’s like a bottomless well… In an Ocean. There is someone like that in the world for you, several, probably, and whether the person you’re in love with is one of those people or not is another question.

BECAUSE you can’t have it.

Do you have this personality trait? You must have something, and once you get it, you don’t want it anymore because now it’s yours and, as such, proven to be very attainable for you. No status hike BECAUSE you got it.

Do you often want things you can’t have, like diamonds, cars, or designer clothes? How do you feel when you get some of them?

How many toys like this did you get as a child? (I must admit I got one—a realistic baby doll that I forgot about in a week. It was expensive and boring.) Did you have toys you loved for years and years and still think back to with fond memories? If so, you CAN value something you’ve got. Can you tell the difference with how you feel about things you want and then forget about and those you wanted and keep loving even though they’re yours?

A personality who gets excited about things they can’t have is likely also to get excited about people they can’t have. A person like that equates people as possessions and status symbols, but has an innate sense of not being worthy, which means that once they have something, its value vanishes. “If I can have it, it can’t be that prestigious after all.”

Rejection Junkie.

Rejection Junkie mindset works very similarly. You believe you can get something better than what you deserve if a person keeps rejecting you.

Maybe you are actually in love with someone who rejects you. Do you usually find your feelings changing from neutral to “I want him/her” if they seem disinterested in you? Do you find your interest awakening when someone you thought was unattainable to you shows interest in you? (Depends, I suppose.)

How do you typically take rejection? Does it change how you feel about a person? (It really shouldn’t. It should just inform you whether you can or cannot have them. It’s not that you’ll stay obsessed about someone you can’t have, you just move on and know you love them regardless, but you can morph that love into platonic if you can’t have them.)

If you can’t do that, and being rejected makes you want to prove to that bastard he or she is no better than you, you’re definitely a rejection junkie.

(How to get rid of a rejection junkie? Go on a date, act super eager and flattered by their attention.)

What if they’re nothing like you imagined.

This is slightly more interesting – you’re the bad guy, and if you’re the bad guy, you can control it.

OK, there are plenty of people who like to keep things interesting for themselves by blinding themselves from the truth of things. Self-deception. They can be in a relationship with someone and keep pushing narratives into their heads about their partner’s virtues just to stay in love with them. But sometimes we do this about someone we don’t know that well… Sometimes, we do this with our kids… Or our parents do it with us. ;p

If you don’t know if you’d love them if you could have them, just open your eyes and see. Would you?

How many of their negative and annoying traits can you name? Would you tolerate those traits or actually love them? In a few years, would you have fallen in love with those quirks or would they start to drive you mental?

Are you trying to talk yourself IN or OUT of the relationship? Do you wish they’re NOT IT  or that they would be? Know this will influence your perception one way or another… Just figure it out. (Use the next post button to point out annoying things about them.)

When they tell your True Emotion Mirror is just interesting to you because you can’t have them.

This is just another manipulation strategy to keep you available to the person saying it or someone like them. Put this down into the same category of manipulative crap narcissists spew at you to make you theirs or controllable by them.

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