So you’ve been laughing at his/her jokes, twirling your hair, looking interested – is he (she) stupid or something?

No, they’re probably not confused about your intentions, more likely they’re ignoring your gestures because they are not interested in you (in that way). They’re simply not interested in developing a relationship with you – even if they are single or don’t have friends (depending on what your intentions are). This doesn’t mean they hate you or think you’re an awful person, if they did, they would have not made the effort to brush your rejection under the carpet. They’re hoping that you’ll get the message without having to spell it out to you. They like you enough to want to give you a dignified exit from this situation and hope to be able to remain friends with you in the future, but they are not willing to make your relationship any more intimate than what it is now (which might be a quite formal relationship, too).

While sometimes people totally miss each other’s cues, the more you feel like you’ve underlined your interest, and the more attractive the person you’re hitting on is, the more likely it is that they know what you’re doing but they are trying to let you down gently… This means, in this equation, you’re the slow one. ;)  Their attractiveness attracts a lot of interest, but very attractive people feel they can afford to be picky. They know YOU TOO want them romantically, but they are not astonished, impressed, or very flattered by it; to them, you’re just one more person in a long line of people hitting on them, a situation they’re very used to, and graceful in the indirect brush off they’re giving you.

If you want a straight answer, you better ask them a direct question, but don’t get your hopes up, the answer is likely a no, and will most likely lead to a lot of awkwardness rather than a clearing of the air. The reason being that they THINK you should know well by now that they are not interested, but clearly, to them, you seem desperate to “befriend” them, so they may want to pretend like they don’t know you are, to save your face for you.

Best not to push it further, or eventually they may have to be rude to you if you don’t get the message and back off gracefully. Change your tone and know that you’ve been friend-zoned, and accept this role in their life or miss out completely. It happens to girls, too, don’t worry about it, and just continue being friends… Or move on.

Subscribe to get a Daily Message