the Normal Person* like to PROVOKE YOU in order to MAKE FRIENDS.

The Normal Person* and the Savants* make friends very differently. The Normal Person* argue to MAKE friends, the Savants* argue to BREAK friendships (and conversations).

Let me first tell you that I USED TO get provoked SO EASILY into arguments. I’d spend days online fuming and arguing with people who I knew would never LEARN. Finally, I realized that they are not arguing with logic or about the topic at hand, they were trying to make me (or someone) notice them. This is attention seeking, and attention seeking is an attempt to make a friend.

If you are not interested in making friends with someone who you’re arguing with (online, offline, at work, you name it), you’ll have to first identify what they are hoping to achieve from this; what’s their angle.

The first time I successfully dropped a conversation like this was arguing with an “Amberstan” about Johnny Depp on Twitter. This was after all the court cases when ALL  LOGIC had already proven, beyond any reasonable doubt that Johnny Depp never hit Amber Heard, not even once. And BOY am I glued in on that fact list, way, way deeper than what I care to admit. Anyway, this particular time was time that I felt OK, they CANNOT POSSIBLY be confused anymore, they MUST KNOW by now that this whole accusation was a woman scorned making false accusations KNOWING FULL WELL she’d get the press on her side in a flash, and getting revenge on Johnny, NOT revealing a great wrong done to her.

So I realized (and I was slow to) that the Amberstans are not there to support Amber, they’re there to provoke Johnny Depp fans for attention, hoping they will TAKE THEM IN onto the GOOD PEOPLE’s side, and teach them the ways of the Deppheads by hand. To COACH THEM  into Johnny Depp fans… This, with the Amberstans, no longer had ANYTHING to do with Amber or support for #MeToo or domestic violence victims. This was a pure provocation.

Now. I was entangled in an argument over some bs that Amberstans had cooked up or dug up – nothing to do with Johnny being violent, even. Once I was sure this person was doing what I figured most of them were doing, I told them that no matter how much they’d argue and prove their staying power, I wouldn’t take them in under my wing and coach them how to be human – or something to the effect. To my greatest surprise, their messages stopped coming.

I did the same in a similar situation with another person soon after, and sadly, haven’t really gotten provoked since to keep testing it.

So. You need to figure out if this person wants FREE COACHING, FREE COUNSELING, HAND-HOLDING, A NEW MOM/DAD, or something else. Sometimes they annoy you to make you give them free answers to questions you’d otherwise charge for, or “insider knowledge” when you’re too angry to keep it to yourself. Remember if you’re a professional of some sort that fees keep applying. If you correctly guess what they want and tell them point blank you’re not going to do it, they should shut up fast enough.

“I don’t think you, or ANYONE, really, is genuinely that stupid – you must truly be desperate for…*WHAT* to pretend to be that clueless. But you know what, I’m not going to do that/give you that no matter what. You cannot insult your way into my group of friends/clients.”

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