Why would a person spend time with you if they didn’t love you?

It is a little naive to think that everyone you are interacting with love you, as a friend, family member, or even a lover. We conduct ‘false’ relationships for many reasons, money being just one of the many reasons, and not at all the most common one. Social convention is the biggest motivator for false relationships, both knowingly forming a “front” relationship to avoid public scrutiny, or to do it without even realizing the relationship is false. Let’s start with that one.

Not realizing you’re “lying” to your person.

We, as people, tend to project our feelings or the lack of feelings a lot, particularly when we’re young. Projecting means that we ASSUME other people feel the same way as we do about each other or types of situations and relationships when in fact we don’t. If you’re homosexual, for instance, you may think homosexuality is much more common than what it is, especially if you are closeted homosexual, you may believe everyone else is hiding their homosexual feelings and that heterosexuality is nothing but a biological mishap. If you are bisexual, you are even more likely to believe people hide their bisexual side in favor of the accepted, normalized heterosexual monogamy.

People may also take friendships with different levels of importance. While to some, friendships are basically what we get into in adolescence while waiting to reach sexual maturity, to others, friendships are a life-long bond lasting stronger than our marriages and even bonds to our children – children grow up, they’ll find partners, and get married – friends are forever. Others feel friends are more of a nuisance you have to put time on simply for social convention, and not much more.

Whatever we feel, we tend to believe our friend feels, too; otherwise, why would they choose to be friends with me?! We tend to not only NOT read others’ true feelings that easily, but we also TRUST THEM to know our feelings much better than they do. Therefore, I have always taken a person’s words over what I think they feel – which is also not always the best way to go about it, as I’ve later figured out.

Justifying lying to a person.

Imagine your parents are pressuring you to get married and have children, or your parents are pressuring you to make friends, when you don’t truly feel that way. So in order to please your parents, you start dating or making friends with people you’re not truly interested in. You justify your actions toward another person because you’re being pressured into relationships that don’t feel natural to you.

You want a certain relationship, but you can’t find the kind of person you’re looking for.

Also, it is very common for people to get into a relationship with a person they don’t fully love because they WANT to get married, or they want to have a friend, or they have, maybe, romanticized and idolized relationships between people of different backgrounds or races, and they want to experience that – so they put a cart in front of the horse and go by appearances, not by their true feelings. There are people who pretend to be in love to speed matters along – I have been in basically all of these boats as the villain of the story, the liar. (I must say not race, but the different socio-economic background applies, just in case my only two black friends wind up reading this and start wondering.) I am still doing it to an extent, as I’d be terribly lonely otherwise. I just try not to give too many false signals, and to keep these relationships to the minimum, but they’re still there.

People will also often talk to themselves into accepting that this person is as good as they’re going to find, even though it’s only a logical, not emotional, decision. They can’t find anything wrong with the person, logically speaking, but even though they’re “good on paper,” they don’t excite them. There are people who will easily accept friendships with people who are good on paper only if they don’t put huge importance on friendships to begin with.

People talk other people into appreciating the love shown to them.

People also think being loved is so rare and precious that if someone had a one-sided crush on another person, and there’s nothing particularly wrong with them, the community may start talking on behalf of the person in love with the one they have a crush on, trying to talk them into having a go with this person. Heck, I’ve done it myself! Luckily, he knew how to protect himself and get away from the situation in a few months’ time. You should ever do that to another person, and I shouldn’t have, either; all it does is create a false relationship between two people who are not naturally bonding with each other.

Also, everyone who has ever truly been in love knows that the credit for the feeling of love belongs to the person it’s felt for, not the person feeling it. If you feel you’re a good person for loving someone, you’ve understood love ALL WRONG.

A weird reason: your spirit guides (or friends or family) try to make your life LOOK normal, to “help” you.

Say you truly want a taboo relationship, such as a polyamorous connection, or you don’t want a relationship at all, or you want a homosexual relationship, but your family disagrees… Maybe something else. Your spirit guides, friends, and family may try to make things look right on the outside by “helping you” to remain in an unhappy heterosexual marriage, for instance. They do this by making sure every other potential partner will never meet you or is being convinced to give up on you by lying to them that they’re not what this person needs; if the person loves you, they may easily believe they are not what’s best for you, and they’ll leave you alone.

This way, the relationship may last for years and be a false relationship from start to finish.

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