How a Savants* polyandrous male star can protect themselves against the Normal Person*polygynous female fan base.

Believe it or not, polyandrous the Cat Thinking men prefer a male audience. Maybe not ALL-male audience, but mainly male audience. There are, in fact,  two ways for men to protect themselves from the wrong type: rough looks or a talent that other professionals and serious hobbyists cannot deny… Or both. If a man is too beautiful, polygynist women cannot stop themselves from fawning over him, turning polyandrist men AND polyandrist women off completely. They may still be there, listening, but they can’t really join the choir of fan girls while maintaining their self-respect.

The question is; do you want to be a professional, respected musician or a rock star? Or whatever creative equivalent you might be.

Guitarist vs. a singer

Let’s take Nuno Bettencourt,¹ an astonishing guitarist and a potential heartthrob, and compare him to Geoff Castellucci, a bass singer of (almost) equal talent and good looks. (He doesn’t write his own songs, is the thing.) What makes their situation different is that Nuno’s guitar talent is undeniable to other guitarists, most of whom are male. While he is swamped by admirers of both genders, the men make it IMPOSSIBLE for most women to compete over the technical admiration of his talent. While a woman or two get it on skill level, they don’t drown out the men at any stage.

In comparison, there are far more serious hobbyist female singers out there than serious hobbyist male singers, which makes admiring Geoff Castellucci a competition a woman can win. His comments are filled with gut-turning adulation, which no self-respecting polyandrist, male or female, will say nothing to until they can pin him for a flaw, no matter HOW much they loved his voice and admired his talent and good looks.

Extreme, Nuno’s band, suffered early on for the female adulation they received with a very simple acoustic song released in the early 90s that is still played a lot worldwide. It is difficult for a polyandrist male audience to take anything seriously if there are too many “little girls” admiring an artist, but, as mentioned, Nuno’s incredible talent as a guitarist eventually drowned out the female fans, leaving the other band members with relatively little attention, but this, is also, not about them. (“The L.I.P.’s,” as Aerosmith drummer Joey Kramer would quip, the Less Important People.)

Sidenotes you can safely skip.

Now, to add to the complications, your band members may be differently oriented. Other Extreme members could probably lap up quite a lot of female attention, but my gut says Nuno has made it clear he doesn’t want any, and as a consequence, he has made it so that the other band members are also going by their professionalism, not by their sex appeal.

I am also PRETTY DAMNED SURE – this is not a fact – that the reason why Rhianna gave Nuno about three notes at Super Bowl was that Nuno wouldn’t warm up to her admiration of him—just a hunch, not a fact.

And let’s throw in another singer.

But then how about when you get the balance right: Steven Tyler, Aerosmith guitarist. How did he amass himself all those screaming female fans AND a whole bunch of male fans, to boot? There is NOBODY who doesn’t admire Steven Tyler for something. Whether it is his incredible wit, his lyrics, the voice, and stretching high notes, his fashion sense or his way with the ladies, and his apparent resistance to aging, you can’t really be aware of his existence and NOT admire him; male or female, young or old.

So what did he do?!

Frankly, he lapped up the sexual attention and felt no guilt or embarrassment about it. He embraced it all. So did every other huge male star; they ALLOWED it. They might not be polygynist, but polyandrist men allow it in a different sense; out of disrespect toward the woman. Don’t get me wrong! There is a philosophy behind it, but it kind of comes out of disrespect toward women, and it works like cat nip. THE CROWDS don’t want an easy catch. They want a TROPHY to land. (And don’t “woke it”; it’s fun. Don’t slut/sub/rejection junkie shame, wokists! The competition is fun – even if it happens on imaginary chips in the game.)

The thing that made every major star, male or female, HUGE was their ability to lap up sexual attention and enjoy it.

To protect yourself from people you don’t want sexual attention from…

Suppose this is your problem, this is your best tool: Don’t talk to or about people you don’t want sexual attention from. Don’t argue with them, don’t tell them not to do it, but you CAN address the people you like and refer to the people who you don’t want attention from as “they” as you state what you don’t like. Don’t Justin Bieber it and tell YOUR FANS not to talk to you under certain circumstances, although I fully understand why he did that.

Always give attention to people YOU DO LOVE, admire, want the attention of. Make references to them in your social media or even your art, veil your anger into lyrics that only a person with similar feelings would relate to; talk ABOUT “them” rather than TO “them.”

The shame of it.

What stops a musician from becoming a rock star is that exactly; not liking sexual attention, not enjoying the sexual admiration, or being too uncomfortable with it. You can be a professional creator, yes, but if you don’t enjoy the sexual aspect of being a star, you can’t really do it. And the problem is that you have to walk the walk of shame and admit that you do, in fact, want it and enjoy it.

1. Link to their latest release just a couple of days ago. ↩

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