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Messages from Sebastyne as chosen by the Universe.

 

 

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How do you break a bond to a “twin flame”?

This question is a little bit misformatted. If this person truly was your Twin Flame, you wouldn’t want to break the bond with them, particularly if you already know them well. You just wouldn’t. They ALSO would not want to break the bond with you. Therefore, if one of you wants to break up, YOU ARE NOT each other’s Twin Flames… or one of you is lying for some reason. If they want to break up with you, they don’t know/believe that you love them like they love you. If you’ve already made sure they know you love them. By loving them, I mean that you are willing to GIVE THEM your emotional care, you’re willing to take their feelings into account, you want to have crazy sex with them, and NOT SO that they are the person you trust to be your new fake parent.

Therefore, unless you feel mutual love for that person, that person isn’t your Twin Flame, despite several matching signs, like telepathy or their spirit presence. No matter how many other Twin Flame signs you get, if you do not feel deep mutual love for each other, they’re not your Twin Flame, and you’re not theirs. That deep connection, that feeling you are meant to be together, the love that goes way beyond a crush or even spousal love and exceeds even your love for your children (say what you will), if that feeling is not there, they are not your Twin Flame – or True Emotion Mirror, or even a Precious Soulmate.

If you want to get rid of someone or break a bond with someone, or they want to break that bond with you, they are nothing more to you than an Active Trail Companion* of some subdivision. Also, only a narcissist will ever want to get back to a relationship with a narcissist. If you’ve ever called them narcissist (and meant it) and still want to rescue a bond with them, they’re not your Twin Flame, but you’ve got issues.

So, let’s rephrase this question:

How do you break a bond with someone who believes themselves to be everything to you?

It is FAR easier to tell your True Emotion Mirror (Twin Flame) to take a hike than it is to tell a Trail Companion* in a state of absolute faith to take a hike. You can break “the unbreakable” bond to a Twin Flame in an instant compared to this one. The reason being is that True Emotion Mirrors, Twin Flames, that is, believe each other to be the picture of perfection, no matter how objective that may or may not be. From their own subjective perspective, True Emotion Mirrors and Precious Soulmates believe each other to be absolute perfection. The same is very much not true to a Trail Companion*.

To you, your Trail Companions* are not perfect, nor are you perfect in their eyes. At best, you show a lot of potential, and it is this potential that they fear losing in you. They see you as someone they COULD well forge to perfection, but they just cannot understand why you refuse to be molded by them. The reason why you refuse is that your VALUE system is different. You value different things; therefore, when they try to make you into their idea of picture perfection, you feel like they’re trying to RUIN something. (And we all have a little different idea of what is perfection, and that, in itself, outside the scope of this post, is perfect because difference makes everyone and everything so interesting.)

However, a person who is infatuated with their idea of what you could be and your potential to become it can find it very difficult to let go of their fantasy of who you might turn into if only you gave them the permission to make you perfect. Then, there is the possibility that they see you as a possible coach for perfection: they think you are perfect, so perfect, in fact, that you should be able to turn them into a picture of yourself – with modifications, of course, to achieve perfection. That bond is similarly difficult to break.

The best answer I’ve got isn’t great.

Unfortunately, I don’t really know a good, effective way to do this. The best answer I have is to simply walk away. Keep saying no. Give them the cold shoulder. Absolutely block them out of your life in the physical, but the problem is that they can sometimes “haunt you” in spirit, similarly to a True Emotion Mirror / Twin Flame, hence the confusion of thinking they’re your Twin Flame.

However, still, even if they are with you 24 hours 7 in your head telling you you owe them love and a chance or whatever, they’ll make you happier than you’ve ever been, they want this for you, they want to give you everything you ever wanted…. Blah blah, just say no. Their idea of perfection isn’t the same as yours, and you kinda know it. They give you flashes of what they mean, and you feel indifferent or even repulsed by their notion of perfection or “heaven”. And, in return, your idea of heaven makes no sense to them.

You need to feel that you have the right to move on. That you have the right to say “no thanks.” And if you believe you’ve obligated to them, somehow, such as they’re your God, she’s your mom, she’s your sister, he’s your brother, best friend, ancestor, King, Queen, spouse, whatever… Twin Flame… You have to know you have the right to disagree. You have the right to decide that you will move on.

And from here on in, it’s just a battle of will. You say no, they say say ten… Haha. You say no; they say you have to. You go back and forth the same thing until one of you caves in, and if you truly don’t love them that won’t be you, to be honest. It may take time for it to sink in but eventually, they’ll have to give up. This can’t go on forever. Even the thickest of skulls will eventually let the message sink in.

Emotional tweaking: Know that you are not, in fact, irreplaceable.

One thing that may keep you locked in this for a long time is a form of narcissism on your part. You may feel and fear that they’ll never find someone like you to replace you. They probably won’t, they’ll find someone better suited for themselves than you are. Someone who actually WILL love them back for who they are, someone who DOES share their idea of perfection.

You are not their best option in life, and the BEST THING YOU can do for them is to walk away when they don’t know what they are missing in terms of true love and friendship. If they don’t know what you cannot be for them and cannot see themselves with another person, you’ll have to force them to find that person. It is the most love you can give them is to block them from your life and heart.

Don’t go back for “closure,” either.

Another thing you must stop yourself from doing is to go back for closure or a “no hard feelings” chat once you finally feel they’ve moved on. This is often what other people interpret describe in frustration: “just as I let go of them, they come back flirting with me…” Don’t give them an opening to misinterpret your intentions. Don’t be swayed by the need to “forgive them,” as that often just means another trap: You then have to prove to them you’ve forgiven them by hanging out with them and whatnot. No. Make a clean break, and don’t look back. Ever. 

NOT EVEN FOR THEIR FUNERAL. Even if this is your family member, you CANNOT AFFORD to be at their funeral. In fact, it is dangerous to say anything positive or loving about them even to a close friend, but I know it’s difficult to avoid, given that it is likely you authentically feel something positive about them, even if you don’t love them.

The reason why I tell you not to attend their funeral, if that becomes a question, is that some people see this as a final apology and something that will open a path for them to be reincarnated with you the next time around. Don’t go there. If you do, keep your true reason at the very top of your mind: “I am here only so I don’t look callous and heartless. I am here to protect my own reputation and the reputation of my family. In truth, I’d rather be anywhere but here.”

Sink this into your very soul.

If this person is very insistent, they may try to follow you around like a lost puppy for a long time to come in your future incarnations, as well. Just decide to remember them from now on and to remind yourself not to speak to them EVER. No matter how close family members they are, keep as much distance from them as you can. Refuse to play with them; remember to be a brat about it if you have to. Remind yourself not to be guilted into even pretending to love them.

Envision yourself giving their future incarnation the cold shoulder, no matter who they are. Also, try and fortify your soul so that you DO NOT wind up in the same family, but that’s easier said than done. Remind yourself to abort yourself if you’re in danger of being born into the same family as them.

Also, don’t take pets of the same gender as that person. This also applies for this lifetime, as pets are often secondary incarnations of people we love or who love us. On the other hand, there may be soulmates (familiars) who you authentically love as pets but don’t like at all as humans. You may want to teach them that if you want my love, you can have it for as long as you’re a dog. (Reincarnated dogs make HORRIBLE humans as much as we love them as dogs. Never hope your dog could speak – I doubt you’d enjoy the experience. Dogs are very hierarchical and have trouble living in equal human societies. I’m sorry that this post got a weird and bizarre turn.)

Don’t fight them; you don’t need to explain; just block them and move on.

The beauty of this time is that once you’ve blocked someone’s email, their social media accounts, renamed their phone number as “don’t answer,” or changed your own phone number to keep them away, there are very few options for a person to stay in your life. 

Don’t fall into the trap of explaining to them, over and over, why you need to leave them or why you need things to change between you two – this is always a negotiation for a future relationship the way they see it. If you stay in explaining why you must leave, their mind goes to “Okay, so I need to change this about myself.” If you tell them, “Sorry, but I’m gay” they will think: “Oh, so the problem is that you’re gay, then I have to make you straight,” not “Well, that’s an indisputable reason to break up.”

If you decide to explain yourself, do yourself a favor and use the ensuing conversations to learn new things about human beings and how different types of people think. For any other reason that I can see, this conversation is pointless.

Decide you’re leaving and then do it, regardless of how they feel about it. And remember, it is not your job to fix hearts that you broke. You don’t get to be the good guy here, and you don’t have to be, either.

Walk away knowing they’ll be better off without you, even if they don’t know it yet.

I’m sorry I haven’t got a better answer.

Don’t give attention to people you don’t genuinely find fascinating in the future.

And now, here’s the last thing. In the future, don’t be a fake friend. Be friendly enough with people who you must get along with, but don’t give them the ego boost of your friendship if you don’t truly want to be their friend or lover. Remind yourself of this: if you must stand alone at a party because you don’t like anyone there, do yourself a favor and stand alone for as long as you MUST stay for whatever reason, then excuse yourself without talking to anybody much.

ANOTHER, opposite, and harder-to-get-right version of the same strategy is to never give attention to anybody in particular, but be a social butterfly and be super friendly to EVERYBODY without having any favorites. Then, ONLY give special attention to people who you actually find fascinating, and always look for opportunities to create a connection to someone you genuinely like. (And never show unhappiness near people who you don’t love. They’ll latch onto your unhappiness and want to be your hero… but you don’t want to let them.)

Basically, the short version of this is this: Don’t give attention to people you’d rather not talk to at all. You may have no idea how much attention means to people and how much YOUR attention, specifically, may mean to people if you are… “cool.” If you are in danger of having NO SOCIAL interaction with anyone (I know some of us truly often feel like we’re on some kind of an alien planet and don’t want to talk to anybody… ever), then make a point of being friendly with a lot of people, but NOBODY specifically. However, there’s a danger to this approach: People may like you so much that they feel they need to rescue you from your loneliness, which they eventually tweak to. 

Do not try to talk yourself into being a better person by being loving and accepting toward all people. This is the ego trap we tend to fall into. You don’t have to love everybody; you don’t have to like everybody; you don’t have to be the one who everyone can depend on.

You have a right to be in the company of people who make your eyes light up, too.

Even if you have to settle for YouTube. 😀

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