Why you shouldn’t play “hard to get” if you want true love, even if…

They say rubbish like “Treat them mean, keep them keen,” “Don’t appear too eager,” and “Why would he buy the cow if he can get the milk for free?” All of those sayings are absolute fucking GUNK when it comes to finding true love. They’re based on a narcissistic view of relationships, so your value as a human being and a partner is linked to the value of a used toothbrush. A “True Love Waits” campaigner compared a human being to a used toothbrush in his view of a potential partner’s value, and he called himself a fucking Christian! I am not easily offended, but that offended me, not personally, but as a simple thought; how in heaven’s name could someone, AN ADULT, teach a group of teenagers that their value was linked to how “used” they were? AWFUL, AWFUL, AWFUL.

The fact is that true love will wait, yes, but should it be forced to wait? True love doesn’t care if it waits or not, how many others have been there before him or her; true love forgives you EVERYTHING and anything, including rape and murder – and I’m not kidding – but that doesn’t mean EVERYONE should forgive rape and murder, I’m just saying that if you TRULY love someone, you WILL forgive them for everything, all things imaginable, because you love that person – it’s not your choice, it’s not your personality, it’s you and that other person, THEY CANNOT do wrong by you. You’ll still want them to be a good person, but there is nothing you wouldn’t forgive them as a gift to yourself, not to them. When you truly love them, you don’t want to DEPRIVE yourself of them because you “shouldn’t forgive them” for something like that! Whoa, no, you forgive them because you WANT TO. You NEED TO because they’re them, and you cannot live without them.

The way it works is that your authentic value system is 100% linked with your True Emotion Mirror, and whatever they’d do, you’d agree to have been acceptable under the circumstances, including likening SOMEONE ELSE’s value to a toothbrush. How could you have known true love before meeting them?

Why would he buy the cow if he gets the milk for free?

What dumb fucking idiot is confused about that? BECAUSE HE LOVES YOU. That’s why he’d buy the cow. “Buy” *coughs*.

But here’s another kicker: He might NOT buy the cow if he doesn’t get a sample of the milk if he loves you… And here’s why: If you act unnaturally and NOT sleep with someone who you love, especially if both of you aren’t similarly religious and traumatized by that stuff, he cannot and could not understand why you wouldn’t trust him, want him, and need him to sleep with you, RIGHT NOW. I’m not saying “have sex or never get married,” but that TRUE LOVE is sexual. I don’t want you to accept that as a pressure thing: “If you’d love me…” but it is true. If you loved him, you WOULD sleep with him. It is true. But if you’re there, CALCULATING and STRATEGIZING, thinking, “I can’t sleep with him if I want him to marry me,” he will interpret it in a way that excludes true love as a potential explanation for your behavior. If he is TRULY and MADLY in love with you, he’ll likely think you couldn’t POSSIBLY resist the urge to sleep with him if you truly wanted him, and thus, you’re just playing him for his money or a marital status.

And yes. I’ve done that. I played a guy I LOVED by not sleeping WITH HIM when I would sleep with many other guys. I don’t know if he knew, but it wasn’t the greatest move ever. 😀 But… I learned my lesson. I would have been happier having slept with him even once and lose him, than to miss my chance and lose him.

Don’t appear too eager…

If you pretend not to be interested, someone who thinks the sun shines out of your ass may not see your non-eagerness for what it is but a justified rejection; “she/he is not interested in someone like me. Fair.” NEVER assume that people who seem perfect to you, feel perfect. They are there when they’re having a shit, you know? You know what I mean? They’ve lived with themselves their whole lives, they are not impressed by themselves anymore. YOU are. To you, they’re a novelty; to themselves, the most common thing there is. And if EVERYONE around them pretends to NOT TO be that interested or impressed, sometimes EVEN THEIR OWN PARENTS, they will not get the confirmation of their awesomeness, ever. Thus, they think nobody loves them but themselves, if that, and they figure it’s understandable you’re not all that eager to date them or to take them seriously as a partner.

OFTEN even the Full Tens need a lot of reassurance from their prospective partners that they are, in fact, serious about them, and the LAST motherfucking thing you should be doing in this situation is to pretend to be unaffected.

Treat them mean, keep them keen.

*Rolls eyes*. This one works, but on the last people, you’d want it to work on. It works on narcissists and rejection junkies, needy and clingy, insecure people whose only manner of knowing a good prospect from an average one is that “oooooh, they REJECTED ME, they must be good.” These are people who have no idea who to choose, so they go for the one who rejected them, as it’s the only marker of a good prospect that they understand. They’re insecure, to the effect of “I wouldn’t be a member of a club that would have me as a member,” they are obsessed with what they can’t have, and once they have it, they figure it couldn’t have been all that good in the first place if there WAS a chance of them to get it. Therefore, once they have you, they’ll move on.

If you happen to run into your true love, or even someone who knows their own worth, and treat them mean to keep them keen, the only thing you’re going to do is to drive them away. LITERALLY, this is a guaranteed way to end up with shit in your hands… and works only on those who want NOTHING but sex from people, but even then, this type of people are a MENACE, and I am not sure the fuck’s going to be worth the drama with them.

In general, if you want TRUE LOVE, you CANNOT alter your natural way of being.

Now… We’re all individuals, right? The whole point of finding true love is to find a person who is naturally exactly what you need them to be. This means that if you want to reject a whole bunch of people because you’re NOT INTO THEM, you must reject them. If you’re a bit of a (man-)slut, and you feel driven to fuck everything with a pulse, that’s how YOU have to do it. (Stay safe.) I guarantee you that GAMING and PLAYING will keep you away from your True Emotion Mirror(s) with 100% certainty; every calculative strategy and every bit of bullshit you weave will GET YOU MARRIED, sure, but with the wrong person.

It takes courage to be who you are. Sometimes being who you are is not even legal.

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