About the Survivalist*.

the Idealists* don’t really understand the way the Survivalist* process things like relationships or the concept of personality or personality psychology. They are always offended by the mere thought that someone could pin down their personality if they were not in an intimate relationship with them. Considering how much us the Idealists* love personality psychology, this confuses us to no end.

What do they do and why?

The Survivalist* believe that to be sexy to a new person, you have to be everything and nothing at the same time. To be interesting, the same rule. To be a chameleon that changes constantly, until they find out what it is that you wish them to be.

Their idea is to show you that they can be anything you want them to be, and all you have to do is to tell them what it is that you desire. Therefore, they hop from category to another until you make up your mind about which face you prefer.

They hate being categorized before a relationship, so they always deflect and the Survivalist* sides. They believe that to belong into a category is to be judged by it – which is true. They cannot stand judgment. This makes them fickle and indecisive. Lacking real values, and thus, judged.

They believe all relationships must be preserved. The only reason why someone might break a relationship is that there’s a better replacement in the picture.

Equality, to them, is not a concept they understand

They are people who do not accept equal relationships. I am not, now, talking about sexual dominance, but emotional dominance. They always need to find the emotional dominant of the relationship. This is their primary mode of thinking: there ALWAYS has to be dominant in the relationship.

It is more than likely that sexually, they are the Idealists*, but romantically or emotionally dominant or submissive. One or the other, never equal.

If you are trying to balance the relationship into equals, they will try and either dominate you or submit to you, whichever way they think you’re wanting things. They get frustrated, because you are not systematically dominant toward them, nor are you systematically submissive, as you are aiming for emotional equality, which is something they cannot even imagine how it might possibly work.

The way a female the Survivalist* feminist thinks of “gender equality”

A female the Survivalist* individualist feminist thinks that “gender equality” means, that women, too, can rise to power. They DO NOT see it as a potential for individual men and women to exist as equals in anything. While the Idealists* believe that men and women can rise to power, to them, gender equality is much more about EQUALITY, rather than who gets to be the boss.

A female collectivist the Survivalist* feminist interprets feminism as a gender war -sort of thing, in which it must be established that which gender is the boss, overall.

The Survivalist* believes two things

1. Don’t leave a relationship no matter what. (The quitter is the loser.)
2. Once you make someone submit, you’ve got them.

What confuses them, is that when they submit to someone who is trying to chase them away, that person makes them submit, but won’t stick around to enjoy their victory. They also get confused when someone who has been clearly submissive with them suddenly takes off and leaves them. They don’t understand how they could do that, considering they’ve been nothing but dominant the whole time. (What more can that person ask for?!)

What they also don’t understand is why someone who clearly has the chops to dominate, refuses to do so.

The Survivalist* doesn’t know what or who they are

The Survivalist* has hard time telling anyone what they are or why they think the way they think. They assume, that the dominant party will tell them what they are and should be and how to think. They also don’t want rational argumentation in the matter, they want the dominant party to “be so certain about their position” that they don’t ask for the submissive’s opinion, but simply declares how “we”, as a unit, think. A Survivalist* would be quite OK with their dominant to announce at a family gathering that they are trying for a baby, without informing the other party this is happening. They might think that’s a bit much, but they’d submit to it, still.

If you are stuck in a relationship with the Survivalist*

It is more than common for a Idealists* who wants to keep the peace to find themselves in an unwanted or only partially satisfying relationship with the Survivalist*. I have contemplated MANY MANY MANY strategies on how to break up with the Survivalist*. The best way to go about it is like a textbook example of a proper dick or a cunt:

1. Establish the position of the dominant. Keep it up for at least 3 months. (You’ve found self-respect, your partner figures. Try not to LOSE your self-respect acting like a dick. Tell your friends why you’re doing this.)
2. Replace “I” with a “we”, then decide what “we” think based on your feelings alone.
3. Once your partner is fully submitted, find a new partner. An imaginary one will also do if you don’t want to mess someone else’s head with this. Do yourself a favor, and imagine the best possible other, or find a connection to your True Emotion Mirror. Then, explain to your future ex, that newbie won’t consider a relationship with you until you’ve broken up and fully separated from your current partner. (A Survivalist* cannot understand a breakup unless there’s someone else involved.) Announce you’ve “found someone better”. Not someone else, but someone better. Otherwise, they won’t understand why you’d leave them. Refuse to even explain “better how?” (Not your ex’s concern, your loyalties lie with your new partner, and you don’t kiss and tell.)
4. Leave the relationship by declaring your decision on how to dissolve it and never look back. (You may be as kind or as cruel as you like about your terms, but DO NOT ALLOW your partner to question your decision. It is FINAL. Don’t attempt this until you know you can carry it through.)
5. Assume they will test your fortitude about the breakup. Keep saying no. (You MIGHT also be amused by the idea of telling them OK you’re back in, but keep living as if you were single. I won’t judge.)
6. When they meet your new partner, enjoy their confusion as to what the heck happened.

These rules are BRUTAL for anyone but the Survivalist*. The Survivalist* will also consider them brutal, but it’s the only way they seem to understand the breakup is real.

The only other way to do it is to leave and cut all contact to them and their friends, and hope you haven’t got mutual kids. If you do, consider the children’s type. (Which one of you do they look up to?) If they’re the Survivalist*, leave them with your partner. If they’re not, fight for custody with everything you’ve got.

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