How the selfless party to a True Emotion Mirror relationship might actually be the problem.

Logically, it makes sense that selfishness is the death of a True Emotion Mirror relationship. However, compared to all others, the problem with this relationship is that if you were hedonistic and “selfishly” going after what you both want, you’d both want the same thing. You both may think the other is “too good” for you, and you’re trying hard to be “a better person” for the other. While there’s nothing wrong with that, it would be better if you’d work harder on realizing that you’re now competing with your True Emotion Mirror and not making things easier for them. They see you too good for them already.

To add to the confusion, we’re not always fair on our True Emotion Mirrors; we can take pleasure in making them suffer a bit, too, can’t we? We also see their potential and want to drag it out by force for their good, making them better than they were before, leaving us feeling even more insecure about them. Fun!

Men are always focused on the responsibility of a serious relationship.

I do not mean to complain, gentlemen; I mean to remind you that you matter, too. Your relationship should serve your needs, too. It is not your job.

When people are desperate for happiness, they feel the other person owes them happiness and servitude. They cannot make themselves happy, so they need someone else for the job. This is where this job-way of thinking of relationships comes from. This is why so many women want to dictate to you what you have to do in a relationship and what’s your job. But relationships are not a job, and a True Emotion Mirror relationship, especially, is a luxury you’ll have to somehow allow yourself. You have to allow yourself to be a pampered, loved, lucky guy. I know. Scary.

Your relationships are supposed to be a hedonistic joy, and as far as your True Emotion Mirror(s) go, your hedonism matches hers. What makes you feel sexy, loved, full of life matches her idea of the same.

First, define your ideal (sexual and romantic) lifestyle.

Your first task is to imagine your perfect lifestyle. Don’t worry if you already know what your supposed True Emotion Mirror wants. If she is your TrEmoR, your ideas will complement their ideas, not destroy them. Be brave. Even if doesn’t fit yet, keep thinking. You’ll find where it fits.

You need to dream a little. Hedonistically. What would bring you pleasure? Romantic joy, sexual pleasure, a feeling of pleasurable mischief in breaking the norm and the expected?

Even if you are already married to her, do this.

Do not forget your True Emotion Mirror is your perfect sexual counterpart. If not, you misidentified her, and it’s best you know now.

Now, imagine her.

True Emotion Mirrors should find it relatively easy to imagine each other in situations that are not real yet. Learn this skill of day dreaming about your True Emotion Mirror. It is very powerful and very educational in terms of what they’re like. Imagine how they’d react to your hedonistic wish to simply be with her contrast that with your feeling of responsibility of being with her.

The more vivid your day dreams the better. You’ll notice how your emotional state alters her reaction to you.

Yes, I’m telling grown ass men to day dream. Even you, fellow Gen X.

Especially you, Gen X & Baby Boomers.

Subscribe to get a Daily Message