Feeling guilty over your own internal observations.

Opinions are like assholes; we all have one. Right? You are entitled to your thoughts, even if they are negative or “insulting” to another person.

If I look at you and think, “Oh my god, she’s both ugly and mean!” and you look at me thinking, “Wow, she’s both ugly and mean!” am I responsible for thinking you are ugly and mean, or for you thinking I’m both ugly and mean? Surely, I can’t be responsible for both you thinking I’m ugly and mean and me thinking you are ugly and mean?

We’re responsible for our words, not our thoughts.

The thing is, whatever we observe around us is whatever we see. We may interpret things incorrectly, yes. I might have tried to be nice and polite; I said, “I love your hair” as a compliment, right, but you took it sarcastically, and now you think I’m mean. So. Can you be responsible for the misinterpretation of another person’s words? Yes. But you cannot be responsible for the misinterpretation of another person’s thoughts about yourself… Because you shouldn’t hear them – but suppose you do; I mean, the way it feels for me, I have spirits around me, and they’re constantly offended by what I think of them. Some of the things I think are probably offensive. Some is just an observation.

If you weigh 100 kilos, it’s not my fault if I wind up thinking you’re fat. If I happen to know how logical weight loss is, it’s also not my fault if I think you’re dumb or lazy or full of excuses when you insist you can’t lose weight “because it’s genetic.” Suppose I am HONESTLY wrong about it, and your weight is, in fact, due to an insane ability to generate energy directly from sunlight like you were a plant and store that energy as fat in your body like an animal, my bad. However, somehow, I think that’s not how you got fat… But it would have to be so that your explanation would be factual.

“Slow metabolism,” compared to your ability to use a fork, is what I’m thinking. Can fat women be beautiful? Yeah probably. In theory. Sexually attractive? Perverts come in many forms, is what I’m thinking, so why not.

I don’t have to agree with your relaxed beauty standards… Or anything else.

Yes, I’m poking a stick at a sore spot for a reason. I’m responsible for having written that on a blog post. But the speed at which that thought pops into my head is faster than your fork, and it’s fucking genetic, bitch. I can’t help it.

Do you have an obligation to agree with me that fat is not beautiful and cannot be particularly attractive? No. Do I have an obligation to change my mind just so you could find yourself a man? Fuck that. You hang onto your delusions all you want.

I’ve seen fat women be loved.

By fat men.

I wouldn’t want the love of a man who doesn’t appreciate the fact I can put the fork down. I might hope he won’t dump me if I put on an extra kilo, but I do want to be appreciated for knowing moderation.

Personal priorities.

Nothing wrong with that… Like attracts like, but don’t expect me to change my sexual orientation or aesthetical preferences, so you can feel good about yourself. You know if you thought I’m too thin and as such cannot be truly attractive, I wouldn’t be offended. You have your right to your misguided view and personal opinion. I know a lot of people disagree with you and that’s enough for me.

Also, what if fat becomes fashionable again as it used to be, and I start eating more to fit that idea – which I absolutely would – because to me it is important to fit into a beauty and sexual attractiveness standard to the best of my ability. It’s a part of how I think. To you, that’s obviously not important, and you’ve got that right. But what you don’t have, is the right to dictate how I should feel about your level of attractiveness, simply because you’re fond of your own way of being.

Should I respect your religion that flies against everything I hold valuable?

Do I think “a religion” must be respected even though it allows and celebrates mass murder? Should I not say something out of respect for assholes who figure worshiping a murderous god is… wise? That you don’t SEPARATE from that branch of your religion visibly so that I’d know that you’re not one of those Muslims? Fuck you. You decide to walk around wearing the same stuff as your murderous counterparts, and I’m allowed to draw conclusions… Even if they don’t match. The same as you can think that my biker jacket means I’m a criminal, rather than that I like Metallica. Or that me liking Metallica probably makes me an ex convict or some shit like that.

You’re feeling guilty of not knowing me properly – and I’m feeling guilty for not knowing you yet.

The point is, we are throwing guilt trips at each other because we don’t know each other as individuals yet, and we don’t quite know what to think of each other… Yet. We think we have to assume and trust every new person, and if we don’t we’re bigoted or racist or whatever. Still, we KNOW not everybody is likable or like us, or agree with our way of living. It would be narcissistic to think that they do.

We must learn to disagree. We can’t all like the same stuff, believe the same stuff, and value the same things. It’s a good thing we don’t. If we all wanted to wear the same exact piece of clothing, we’d be killing each other over a rag, you know? It’s good thing we have preferences and differences. It’s good that I don’t need to eat quite as much ice cream as you seem to enjoy. You can’t have my share, my calorie count would drop too low, but fuck. Eat more than you need for as long as the Earth can support your habits. Just don’t call yourself a greenie, bitch. 😉

I’m responsible for what you think of me, not you.

The thing is… You are not responsible for having a negative thought about another person. But you maybe responsible for giving them that thought. If you think I’m unduly unkind and provocative, you might be right. Maybe I’m one of those people who do not care about people’s feelings just to win a point, right? I accept responsibility of you thinking that – or something related. You’re entitled to that thought.

But that doesn’t make you any less fat.

Now, finally.

Your True Emotion Mirror relationship is not a result of you “deserving” him or her.

There are some views in spirituality that react to having fallen in love as an expectation that once you reach some standard of being a good person, then, you’ll have them. Granted, you might have put that expectation on each other. True Emotion Mirrors MAY have mutual goals toward perfection, and they’re pushing each other to that perfection; using themselves as a carrot, but that isn’t anybody else’s decision but your mutual belief systems. It is also a result of you believing in each other, believing that you CAN BE better, but it is NOT something that comes from outside of you, apart from as “an invitation” from yourself: “Make me do this before you reward me.”

So the question is not “what does God want of you,” the question is what do YOU want of yourself and what does your True Emotion Mirror want you to rise to? It still comes MORE from you than your True Emotion Mirror, but they want for you what you want for yourself, even if that means they have to wait a lifetime for your wishes to come true.

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