“You don’t trust me!” Is unconditional trust a sign of true love?

Unconditional trust is not a universally good sign in a relationship. How many times have you trusted someone from day one, who, in a short time, turns out to be an abusive narcissist? Your trust in a person is NOT a signal of YOUR issues, it’s a signal of THEIR trust in themselves. If they don’t trust themselves, they may project that mistrust onto you, in a sense making you responsible for their own insecurities.

That said, I do not believe it is a deliberate form of abuse in any way, at least it is not usually, but it is simply something people feel: “You should trust me.” When truthfully it means: “I don’t trust you to love me because you don’t trust me,” but the real truth is they don’t trust themselves, 100%, and they are, in fact, worried they may hurt you if you do. Narcissists, by the way, don’t fear hurting you. The reason why they’re easy to trust is that they don’t fear for you, and if they’re self-confident, they won’t be hurt by you or anyone else (without payback), therefore, they give out an aura of trustworthiness which can be very deceiving.

I always consider the demand for unconditional trust very potentially abusive. Trust must be earned over the years, I believe, you have to demonstrate to people that you can be counted on. Unconditional trust, to me, is a bit like unconditional love – what is it even worth if someone gives it to you freely without even knowing you fully? Guilt tripping people into trusting (or loving) you without a question or adequate proof sounds very suspicious to me.

Feeling sad about it, perhaps not abusive, but I think there should be a clear message sent that the lack of unconditional trust is not a bad thing, but rather the existence of it is potentially both ways alarming. A person who trusts others without a question is not a person whom you can trust to take care of themselves – their trust is solely on you… And a person who isn’t worried about anybody getting hurt in a relationship is a kind of psychopath.

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