“I offer you a chance to love me.” (Find your charisma.)

You may think that you owe a person a relationship if you approach them for whatever reason. You might think you owe it to them to know before you know them, that you’ll love them forever, and that, definitely, you know you’re lovable as. You might have a thousand reasons why you’re cautious about approaching other people.

Let me change your approach. Instead of thinking “let’s see if we’re compatible,” think: “I offer you the chance to love me.” You pick someone who you believe you will love, and you approach them with the offer of yourself. Not with obligations, expectations, or assumptions. Just an offer. You’ll take them for a tour of who you are as a person, and it may be a lengthy tour; you’ll show them all of who you are, if they like it, they’ll buy it, if they don’t, they don’t. Next!

Maybe they’ll find you adorable, maybe weird in a negative way, who knows? You’re not asking anything from them, no favors, you’re offering them an opportunity. And yourself, too; to get to know them, to see if you’d love them. You give them all that attention, and if you find that you no longer can muster up the interest to do that, they’ll get the message quite quickly, I’d guess.

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