What others think about a person shouldn’t be the ONLY way you judge a person’s character.

Not all people get along. Sometimes, there’s a ton of bad blood between two people who you know nothing about. We snap at people sometimes for a reason. Particularly family members who don’t get along have had to co-exist in situations that make them crawl on the walls in each other’s presence. It is also possible that one person is happily taking all the space available to them while the other is being pushed aside tighter and tighter. Eventually, they react to it after years of trying NOT TO be the problem.

Do not think that how a person you just met treats an ex-something or a family member, someone they’ve known for a long time indicates how they will treat you. Sometimes it is, sometimes that’s just a relationship that was born dead due to interpersonal incompatibility, nothing more.

Sometimes, people are like magnets to a personality type that they wind up disagreeing with. For instance, a kind, helpful, but impressive person is a magnet for narcissistic people; it is easy to use and good for a lapel-pin person. (Someone to boast about knowing and being associated with.) When that person figures this out and starts retaliating and refusing this situation, THEY will seem like the insane person in that equation… With a lot of people.

Ask them what the situation is, not assume. You may want to ask that other person, too, but there are a few things to consider; people tend to paint things in a positive light for themselves – this applies to both parties. Pay attention to what that person thinks is an excuse, however. “When a girl hits a guy, it’s not the same as the other way around,” for example, is a terrible excuse for violent behavior. It may not be the same, but why would anyone feel the need to resort to violence? (Good question, isn’t it?) (Mind you, if a woman hits her boyfriend, there’s a good chance she’ll also punish your children that way.)

See about a person for yourself; how is your dynamic? Do you get along? Do you understand each other? What about your value system? Same or different?

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