the Survivalist*: I have two potential spouses; which one should I choose?

If you are indeed the Survivalist* as the title suggests, ask him or her if they want the marriage or you. If they answer “marriage,” marry them; if they say “you,” don’t. An Idealist*, who you should never marry, will always answer they want “you”, and a dog-type, which is who you should marry, will answer “marriage“. They will not only want you now, but they also want the marriage to last for the rest of your lives.

You might also want to ask them if they would leave you if you ever cheated on them. An Idealist* will say they probably would, and that’s the wrong answer. You want the Survivalist*  to answer no… in some form. Most likely: “No, if you won’t leave me for cheating on you.”

If you marry a Idealists* the likelihood is that he or she will leave you eventually or stay with you but as a distant housemate, not as a real spouse. It’s unlikely they’d cheat on you unless you cheat on them first or give them actual permission to sleep with other people, but your happiness will be superficial for you both. Interestingly enough it is more likely your the Survivalist* spouse will cheat on you, but they won’t leave you for it, or for you cheating on them.

You might want to have a discussion about how to manage this part of your marriage before you marry, too, and don’t let OTHERS convince you that cheating is grounds for divorce – it isn’t for the Survivalist*. For a Idealists*, it nearly always is, however, and they’ll leave you for cheating, and they leave you to go with someone they fall for, and if you’re the Survivalist* and they’re a Idealists*, the chances of them having multiple options to fall for someone else are super high. An Idealist* friend will try to convince you that cheating is grounds for divorce, too, but don’t listen, it doesn’t apply to you.

If both of your options are the Idealists*, tell them both to take a hike and keep looking. If both of your options are dog-type, just pick the one you fancy more for whatever reason.

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