The deep love men need, and the passionate sex that women crave

The amount of damage religious teachings and general life advice have done to the human love life is unbelievable. One of the biggest wrongs it has committed is making sex a dirty act, or somehow inferior to “just love”, or made marriage and love a thing to bargain survival for. This hasn’t done any favors to either women or men, and even though the original reason might have been the idea that women don’t enjoy it, or that they are hurt by it, and as such the idea would be to protect women, then that idea twisting into women being temptresses that want to lure men into sinning, making women then the object of control but… Now, the idea of showing women any sexual attention at all is pretty much “being disrespectful”, and that is not a good starting point going into a relationship.

This mindset is forcing men to love women in a feminine manner, fails to excite women and is unnatural for men. We have grown up believing that men don’t love women the same way as women love men or that women don’t want sex the same way as men do. So.. this is what happens in this mindset: Women are afraid to love men because they think men are only after that one thing. Men are afraid to passionately make love to women because they are afraid the women a) don’t really want sex b) they don’t love men and c) she will eventually break his heart. Yes. You got that right. He is afraid that she is going to break his heart.

Women are good at that, breaking men’s hearts that is. Better than you think. And they always feel justified in doing so. That’s the worst part. Women are unforgiving creatures, whereas a man would forgive the woman he loves almost anything if he believed she loved him back. Women can detach themselves of a loving man just because he doesn’t meet her superficial (ego) criteria – and why do they detach themselves? Because they think men don’t really love women and therefore she is some kind of a gift to him that ALLOWS him to be her man… for as long as he behaves and doesn’t make her embarrassed. Men can’t turn off their feelings the same way a woman can. If they’ve been wounded, they’ll go into hiding and lick their wounds in silence… For a lot longer than a woman will because they believe not being loved is their fault, women believe that not being loved is men’s fault – and that is what men and women have always agreed on; if there is a problem, it’s his fault. She will find a new man that is better for her, more deserving of her, while the man wonders why and how she could hurt him so badly, but that, at the end of the day, he must deserve it.

This is not women’s fault. She has been taught not to trust men. Her father has told her not to trust men, and although he knows there are exceptions to this rule as he is one of them, he “knows” that it is far more likely for his beloved daughter to find a stereotypical man, the common type… Untrustworthy, because that’s what everyone says. Her mother and her friends have told her men are not to be trusted. But why? No reason. It’s just the lie that we all believe that “men are after one thing only”, but this is not true. The reason why men do detach from their emotions is simple: They are protecting their hearts. To treat a woman without emotion is safer than to treat her with the love that he would naturally feel. Obviously, this also causes aggression in some men, but let’s not go there. He is waiting for her to love him, so he would be safe to unleash all the fiery love that men hide inside of them for the woman of their dreams… Out of respect for her, not to withhold it from her.

Another problem women have is the good girl syndrome. The whole idea that women should not enjoy sex too much is probably due to jealousy of other women, who mark them as whores and what not. A dignified woman will not twist in pleasure…. Let alone seek pleasure. Why? To stop the alpha female from “stealing” men. (Men used to “steal” women, too, but it’s not OK anymore to think women as property, but men still are thought of as “property”.) And how impossible is it for a man who is afraid of his heart getting broken, put himself on the line yet again and try to break through the ice queen and make love to her the way he would be able to normally?

When I thought about this topic, I was going to tell men to just make love to her without inhibitions because that is what any woman craves, but in all fairness, it’s a big ask. Instead, I’m telling women to allow themselves to be vulnerable to men… ANY man. To be more giving and loving, the way you truly feel for them but think you can’t be because that would make you “a doormat”. You are stronger than they are. You cope with heartache better, as long as you don’t turn bitter. Men deserve your love, almost any man! Pick a guy and love him. Let him know you love him, look at him with adoration, the way you feel. And don’t reserve your love to just the Right One, he’ll come along eventually if he’s going to, but love every man you meet. They need that and they deserve that. And kiss them the way you love them! They do love to be kissed! That’s one more thing that they won’t admit (until they’ve been kissed properly) but every man loves to be kissed! 😉 It’s quite a feeling to make a strong man putty in your hands just by kissing him properly. Try it, your man or a new man, just try it. (Trust your instincts.) (And you’ll sense the ones that don’t deserve your love in a blink of the eye if you keep your heart open to the knowledge that most of them do deserve love… They’re all somebody’s son.)

The amount of pain that is out there because men crave love and women crave… to be fucked to the inch of their lives is staggering. We’ve got this whole thing reversed somehow! It’s probably not so that one sex would want one thing more than the other, but we’ve just painted ourselves into a corner with this one. Both sides are too afraid of the other to give them what both need. It’s almost like men wanted love so much they decide to settle on sex… And women want sex so much they decide to settle on love. (As if they were separable but you get the idea.) It’s like both sexes want what the other one naturally gives, but instead of daring to want it, we want what we are familiar with. But when women get non-sexual love from men, without the fierce masculine love that is directly connected to the penis, they don’t want it. It’s feminine love. When men get *just sex* from women, they don’t want it, because that’s masculine. Men love with their penises, women love with their hearts, and one is not better than the other, the heart should be connected to the genitals for both genders… Should. They feed off of one another. One cannot grow without the other. Women fall in love when they feel the man wants them… When they realize he’s hot under the collar and wants to rip her clothes off. (Or when they realize he’s the kind of man who is not afraid of that feeling.) Men fall in love when they realize she loves him (or is the kind of woman who is not afraid to love a man). Why is it that this is how we feel but don’t realize it? Isn’t it sad? Isn’t it time we became what we were created to be…

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