Accidental avoidance of true love by picking the next one down (NOD-syndrome)

Have you ever met a pair of friends, thinking both of them looked kinda hot, the other one you truly truly thought gorgeous, but the other one was still well hot enough – and went for the well hot enough? You just avoided true love.

This is where get into trouble with rationalising things. We always see our True Emotion Mirrors (our strongest soul mates) through rose coloured glasses – to us they are Gods and Goddesses, but we might not see ourselves the same way, and that’s why we choose to go for the “lesser” option (who, to someone else is equally hot). Think of the person you think is the most gorgeous person you’ve met and see who you’d go for.

The Next One Down -Syndrome (NOD-syndrome)

I just made that up, don’t bother googling, just having fun here. The Next One Down syndrome happens when we try to calculate our chances with our primary ‘target’, in a group of friends or even between brothers or sisters, there’s usually one that to us feels more attractive. However, because you can only hit on one of them, you have to access your chances, and most of us don’t want to seem  self-conceited enough to think they’d deserve the hottest of the hot so they choose the Next One Down, even though they’d really feel strongly about another person. It’s not so much that we wanted to avoid rejection, just that the chances are better with the first runner up, and the reason why it is so, is because they think the same way. Because you’re not their true love, they too feel they might have a chance with you, when in fact they might have an eye on your friend if they were honest about their feelings. Sadly, if you reject them so that you’d go for the First Option, you’ll make your NOD feel twice as rejected because they feel they can’t even have you, and you’re not even that hot! 😀 Complicated. I’ve been the victim of a NOD syndrome before – I try to avoid NODding myself. :p

Of course, we can NOD on people who we feel are clearly out of our league and completely unattainable. The rule of thumb is, that your true love, your Full soulmate is always one you cannot turn away from. There is not one soul on this planet who you’d consider hotter than them. Not one. Ever. If you find one that tempts you in any level apart from the person you think you’re in love with, keep looking because that’s not your True Emotion Mirror. Equals, yes, perhaps, but never one more attractive, celebrities included. And then there’s the one you think is kinda tragic in every way, you get that face-palm reaction about ten times a day with them, but you’re simply totally and utterly in love with them and you might not even be able to tell why.

The moral of this story is this: For as long as there is someone you feel is hotter than the person you are going for, it’s the wrong move. You might not get them for yourself, but that’s not the point. We must distance ourselves from the potential rejection, and simply focus on making someone’s day by letting them see we think they’re attractive. We don’t need to throw ourselves at them, but a smile and an eye contact is a good start. If you are worried about what they may think of you if you are self-conceited enough to chat them up, consider what you just thought of them: Self-conceited enough to think your attraction towards them won’t make them feel better but they’d think you’re ridiculous for finding them attractive and thinking you have a chance. 🙂 See what I mean? Even if they didn’t wish to go any further with them, I don’t know anyone (in their right mind) who would have their day ruined by tasteful flirt! You just think of it this way: “I make someone else feel good about themselves by showing them I think they’re attractive” and your job is done. No expectations, but a good chance of something bigger coming out of it!

Keep your standards high. (And remember, monogamy was someone else’s idea.)

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