How to discover your Authentic Self

The “spiritual work” that we are encouraged to do should always aim for finding your authentic way of being. (It’s a hangover from organized religions that we are still trying to find the “correct” way of being rather than the authentic one. We should aim to become a self-aware animal, not try to “kill the inner beast” as if it was even possible.)

Your Authentic Self is the person you want to be and would consciously choose to be if you felt you could. An authentic self is a version of each of us that is no longer too affected by societal norms or expectations, guilt or shame, the person you’d be proud to be or become. This is the person you discover when a person feels that they are free to choose for themselves and live their lives as they choose without external shoulds and musts as independent grown-ups do.

Hypocrisy is inauthentic, but something that is very easy to succumb to even when you try hard not to.

Inauthentic people try to suffocate their “negative” feelings and wants and become a hypocrite. You aim for approval rather than truthful self-expression. It is sometimes even difficult to spot hypocrisy because we are constantly battling this cancel culture, and you need to say things that you may not truly mean, just so nobody will cancel you on Twitter. Forcing people to suffocate their true feelings is more rampant than ever, literally forcing people to become hypocrites or lose their jobs.

It’s difficult to tell who believes what when we’re all forced to pretend to feel the same way about everything. Nobody wants to be thought of as a bad person – for a reason or another, some to prove they are not, and some to hide that they are, but we all tend to express what is acceptable and hide the rest. Stopping people from saying certain things out loud doesn’t stop them from thinking that way.

Being truthful, authentic, feels good.

Your authentic self feels bad when forced or coaxed into a situation you don’t want to be in and feels enjoyment when you decide to do as you know you need to do. It also feels bad when you want to do something but don’t dare to. The same exact feeling can be caused by feeling you’re forbidden from doing something you want to do, you MUST do something to appease another, or because you’re not brave enough to do what you wish to do but feel a level of shame about being afraid to. Try not to get these feelings mixed up – especially as a psychic empath. You’ll easily push people to something they authentically don’t want to do if you think the bad feeling is fear of trying.

For example, I always tell people to figure out if they’re truly monogamous or polygamous. One of the options will thrill you, and one either bores you or erks you. You may also fear the option you want to take. The one that excites and tempts you represents your Authentic Being. Your authentic being is discovered by doing the things you enjoy.

There are conflicting wishes.

There are often conflicting wishes within us that confuse the Authentic Being. This is what I call a wish hierarchy, a competition of values that take a hierarchical form from a higher wish to another. For example, you enjoy the thought of making everyone happy, but you want to be happy yourself first. (And you should.) You might enjoy the thought of a child, but you also enjoy sleeping in and having a free schedule more or the other way around. You might be a person who enjoys being well-mannered and values respectful behavior, but at the same time hate some social situations so much you don’t want to take part. Your authentic self finds a way to do both simultaneously; to say no to that social event and still be polite and respectful about it, or find a way to have children and still sleep in. Often discovering the Authentic Self is about finding out how to have your cake and eat it too, finding a perfect balance between two seemingly incompatible wants. 😉

The Authentic Being is not a demigod like New Age wants us to believe.

What is important to understand is that you don’t have to be an Ancient transcendent soul to discover your authentic way of being. Each phase we live through has a genuine expression to it. Inauthenticity happens when we try to behave in an unnatural way to the way we are. We often resort to mimicking the majority. Sometimes we look for a model in older souls than what is wise to, and sometimes we force ourselves to act younger than our soul age would assume. It’s safe to say that sometimes we can’t even tell which behavior is the more evolved one anyway, so it is best to do what you feel comes naturally to you.

“If only!”

The authentic you always get excited about a thought of the behavior or lifestyle that is natural to them. (Both professionally, personally, and sexually.) The thoughts may include: “If only I could do that!” “I wish it was that simple!” “I hate her for having that!” (Because you want it.) Envy (rather than jealousy, slight difference) is one of the best clues toward your authentic self. “I should have been the one to…” “I would do that too if…” “I’d enjoy that…”

Please note your thoughts and impulses; they are more valuable than gold! When the opportunity arises; What you will do and what you would enjoy doing is the difference between your weakened state and your authentic being. To reunite with a True Emotion Mirror, you would have to do as you think you’d do more often than you fail to do as you thought you would. To know oneself means this: You know when you’ll go wrong, when you’ll fail, and to live from your authentic self means you will do as you wish you would despite pressures to do something else.

Your Authentic Self changes slowly through incarnations.

Your Authentic Self changes very slowly normally, if at all. Normally it just expands; it adds new nuances to itself, refines itself, it becomes more clear to your consciousness, and becomes stronger. Sometimes you may choose you no longer enjoy what you used to enjoy or want a quality that you used to have, or you want to soften it or refine it. That is how you evolve and change your Authentic being.

Your core values are likely to stay unchanged from incarnation to the next, or the things you enjoy doing, taking you to various situations that mimic the same values that you hold dear, offering opportunities that you find exciting… But not before you’ll be self-aware enough to take notice!

The sum of your enjoyment defines your authentic self. The sum of your actions represents your current expression. The difference between the two shows the level of your Weakened State. The closer the match between your wants and your actions is, the more stuff you do because you want to rather than should do the more authentic you are.

We are all different in our Authentic Expression.

A common misconception is that all our authentic beings are the same; a pure soul that wants nothing but the best for all and loves everyone fully and truly. That is a side effect, not the goal, and the love you feel for everyone doesn’t always look that way. You are still a human who reacts to things in your way, sometimes with fits of absolute wrath. You love the diversity, the quirks, and the infuriating feelings that some people provoke in you. At the end of the day, no matter how much you hate a type of person, you still would feel loss if they didn’t exist. The same way we love our soulmates, we would love them less if they were without their human quirks and “flaws”, we’d love Earth less if it didn’t have annoying people in it.

One funny example of authenticity: If your authentic being enjoys lying, it would be inauthentic to tell the truth. 😉

I promise that discovering what you truly are is both confusing and thrilling. You will find many conflicting wishes, and it seems you can’t have it all – but you can; you just have to keep mulling things over and repeat this one question: What would make it perfect? Often you find that what makes it perfect is a very simple adjustment that requires nobody else to accommodate you in any way.

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