About polyandry – one wife, multiple husbands

Polyandry is a form of polygamy in which one woman has multiple husbands. It seems unnatural to the surface, but it would be quite a popular form of polygamy indeed if people would be honest with themselves.

Polyandrous women

Signs of a naturally polyandrous woman are countless suitors and a tendency to not relate to other women very well. She feels the need to distance herself from other women, but other women rely on her for relationship advice – is it any wonder? She thinks like a man and may have a good track record for not only making sexual conquests but never losing men’s respect doing so.

To her, understanding the male mind comes easy, but understanding other women may be a bit trickier for her. She is often a practicing sex worker because, for the longest time in history, the only socially accepted form of polyandry has been prostitution. It’s been frowned upon, but wives have been willing to turn a blind eye to something they thought they could not control “because of the way men are,” as long as their husbands don’t show true emotion towards their favorite prostitute.

A polyandrous woman won’t fight over male attention. He either loves her or he doesn’t. It’s his call entirely; she will only deny or accept the love of an admirer but is not likely to go further than flirtation and temptation in her approach to men. She lures men rather than traps them.

As a child, she is also a tomboy that the boys might have considered one of the guys for too long even to remember she’s got boobs! But this girl will grow up attractive – but not “a girly girl.” She might be a “femme fatale” type or a G.I. Jane type, but either way, most men will find her very attractive and admirable. A polygynist man will find her infuriatingly difficult to handle and obnoxiously masculine.

Both polygynous and polyandrous people are sexually competitive; the more partners, the more competitive they are. (You have to be competitive to find the thrill of potentially losing out – or you settle into a small marriage in which everyone can be given enough even without competition. This post refers more to large groups.)

Polyandrous men

Signs of a polyandrous male include a tendency to surround oneself with men, often being considered a bad boy due to a wild character, boyish hobbies, and unwillingness to settle into married life. They have difficulty bonding with a woman, and ironically they tend to be womanizers. This is because they have a hard time authentically respecting women. If they find one they like, they also know another 100 men is waiting in line to get just for that one. They try to settle down, but find it hard or boring.

This is because they haven’t found their one true love yet. In a monogamist society, she can only have one, and her natural others must find love wherever they can. Also, polyandrist men get utterly bored without competition in the safety of marriage.

Soldiers, members of a sports team or a (hard/heavy) rock (metal) band are almost without an exception polyandrous. (As opposed to the soft rockers, usually solo artists, who can lean towards polygyny.) Any occupation that requires deep male bonding is where polyandrous men flock. They cannot bond with feminine women, and their one true love is likely to be following them into battles, to sport grounds and into their bands. Still, polyandrous women don’t typically become a groupie or a fan that would seek their company because they don’t like fighting over male attention, nor do they want to lose men’s respect acting like “a hen.” She is often sexually liberated, but knows men can’t stand stupid women, which is why she avoids the company of women she finds intellectually her inferior.

Chasers

The polyandrous male has to ‘stake their claim’ to a woman of status, and loves the thrill of a chase. They love a conquest. They need to be able to hold their own in a group of men, and cannot give up their turf. However, without competition they bore easily and are likely to seek for a new object of worship. As kids, should they have known each other, they’d all worship the same girl, the hottest girl of the school, never minding who’d end up having her in the end – until one of them got there and she was all like: “oh I’ve already got a boyfriend – your best mate” sending the guys into harsh reality of monogamy, that frankly, makes no sense to them.

A man’s world.

Contrary to what you’d first think, this is a man’s show. Although she’s the one they all look upon like a female goddess, the men have their own thing going and she’s just part of the gang as the rest of them – or is left out a little because she’s a chick. The more sexually the men start to look at her, the happier everyone will be. At the same time it’s the male world that they live in and for. Her job is to keep morale up, make warriors out of her men, make them bigger, better, faster, more furious, never tying them down, holding them back, nor demanding anything for herself – her men will give her anything, but she would rather die than make a demand of a man! To her men are magical, superior, exiting, enthralling and beautiful, and she is theirs completely (to do as they please). It may take her a long time to trust her power over men, and then learning to play with it. These are monogamous and religious hang-ups.

Source of “giving up”

Each of the men view her as the prize to gain. Some polyandrous men have opted out to automatically settle for someone less exciting than a polyandrous woman, to avoid having his heart broken by a more attractive suitor. They may view a polyandrist woman as the one “nobody” can have, and avoid them on purpose.

In their natural state, these men are competitive to the extreme, and it’s that competition that drives them forward. In a polyandrous relationship, the fear of losing becomes a form of a game. Who is the best kisser, the best, the biggest, the… You get the idea! …of today? Which one impressed her on the battle field, which one does she fancy the most..? They are show-offs and charmers who will stop at nothing to try and win a few extra points. It is absolutely crucial for her to understand this dynamic: Do not allocate pity points, do not decide on “one-on-one time” every so often so that everyone gets their share… This is not a share company, this is a competition between highly capable, grown men who do not respond well to babying.

Parenting

In a monogamous setting, the polyandrous man’s attention may focus completely on the children, especially will-be polyandrist children. His children may replace his need of a community, but if the children are polygynist and bonded with their mother, he may feel completely left out of his own family, and his natural drive will lure him away from home.

Polyandrous men are very nurturing and protective, IF the mother lets them be. Still, they love rough-and-tumble, and can be a bit roudy for the liking of a potentially polygynous wife. Polygynist women have a hard time trusting their children with polyandrous men, however, and therefore, he may feel like an outsider in his family.

If they have a strong bond with compatible polyandrous men outside their family, it is entirely possible they struggle keeping their attention on their wife and children, and often wind up prioritising his male friends over family.

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