About Polygyny – One husband multiple wives

Both polygynous and polyandrous people are sexually competitive. Signs of a polygynous male surrounds himself with women. He revels in the attention of women, and knows how to talk to bond with women. He makes friends with women easily but can be a bit of a player. He is likely to be a solo artist or an actor if famous, and very popular amongst women with very few (straight) male fans or close team members. He’s got hard time choosing between women, because he’s often surrounded by True Emotion Mirrors that pull him into different direction with a societal permission to choose only one. He’s the embodiment of a man with “a commitment phobia”, the one to give every man a bad name because he seems so sweet but sleeps behind your back with other women – but this is not his fault. It’s the society’s belief that a good relationship can only exist between two people, and everything else is abnormal. A polygynous male is not likely to start fighting for the love of a certain woman. If she comes to him, he’ll welcome her with open arms, but he won’t try and ‘trap one’.

Signs of a polygynous female is her tendency to go for the popular man. Whichever man has the most admirers get her attention. (The Batchelor-reality tv show effect: First week: “I’m not into him at all.” Second week: “I think there’s a definite connection there…” all due to the fact that other women were into him.) She admires the major stars, and is the reason why initially male-audience rock stars are forced to start writing ballads for the female audience, because they like their rock softer. Groupies of popular rock stars are likely polygynous women, while the rock stars themselves are likely polyandrous men! It’s just that she gets turned on by the danger of other women and the competition of his attention. Similarly to polyandrous male, the polygynous female thrives on competition and one-upping another female. They have a lot of close female friends however, and they form alliances together. When they were children, they were likely to admire the same idol or the hottest boy of their school, and were thrown into chaos if one of them managed to make him her boyfriend – a harsh reality of monogamy slapping them in the face. It is quite difficult for a woman to accept her polygynous tendencies, because society views women who share their men as push overs and weak. A naturally polygynous woman is probably quite tolerant to a cheating husband – until he decides to leave her for another woman, which to her is incomprehensible idiocy.

A polygynous man is naturally adapted to living in the feminine world. He knows what gifts to buy, how to dress and how to court a woman. He has to know how to soothe arguments and be the safe male for his wives to turn to. He needs to be incredibly fair and diplomatic, and know how to place his words perfectly so that he doesn’t offend or insult. That is his natural ability making him the most deceitful player in a monogamous society, because he truly loves his date but as monogamy is the ideal, and his natural instinct is to look for yet another True Emotion Mirror, his caught between the rock and a hard place. A society that celebrates differences between people, he couldn’t do without this quality as a polygamistORpolygynandrist. To him, each woman is magical, and he loves them all for who they are and gets broken hearted if one of his girls suffer – if he allows himself to be.

One of the obvious perks of polygyny is the share of duties of minding children and sharing the household work. (How do the polyandrous manage? A chaos, a sweet chaos!) A polygynous male loves to think himself potent and fathering children that he looks after given enough wives helping him! He loves the thought of raising children together with his (wife) wives and makes a responsible family man… That having said, him and his wives get another perk: Working outside the home or becoming a stay at home mum becomes guilt free when there is always family members taking care of the children, freeing everyone to become what they want to become.

Although this is the most traditional form of polygamyORpolygynandry¹, it is absolutely crucial to avoid traditional thinking when it comes to your relationship. The main thing is that everyone is happy and everyone is in the relationship out of their own free will, and any forcing of any kind (like requirement of absolute loyalty and wishing things to be something they are not) are poison to this relationship. This relationship type is not good for possessive men, ironically, and the value of divorce should be carefully considered; absolute life-long loyalty cannot be achieved or found but through absolute freedom. He will revel in his attempt to keep all of his women happy, if each one of them is free to leave at any time, he needs to over-do himself every day to make him the most tempting option of all men to all of his women.

1. Depending on context. Some time ago, I used the term polygamy to mean either the generic concept of polygamous marriage or a MM+FF+ -type marriage or poly-committed relationship. ↩

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