Choosing to have children or forgo having children from the spiritual perspective

I am a childfree woman. I decided at around 8 years of age that I wouldn’t be a mother. The role didn’t suit me, and it felt like it was something that other people do. I have been sterilised a couple of years ago, and I don’t regret that choice. HOWEVER, after going through months of intensive spiritual work, independently, on my own, I discovered two important things: I am heterosexual, no doubt about it, and second… I have some soulmates that I would gladly accept as my children.

This is what any future parent must understand about having children: You do not fall in love with a child because they are a child. You also do not love them because they are your biological child. You fall in love with them because they are your Spirit Mirror, someone who has been with you forever and forever.

If you don’t have a burning need to have a child, you are probably not to be reunited with a child-Spirit Mirror in this life time. Of course you can still have a child, but they will be just that, a child. A soul with little or no connection to you, or at worst an Antagonist Spirit, someone who is the worst possible match to you – someone who needs the challenge of having the misfortune of having been born to you, a karmic soulmate, some would call them. The fact  you will be giving birth to them counts for nothing in terms of love born between you if it wasn’t there to start with.

There is something else we must understand: If we marry a non-True Emotion Mirror, as in a Trail Companion*, the chances are that our children “belong to” one or the other one of us, but not both. They normally belong to the mother because of the way our society is structured, but not always, and it would be cruel to separate them from their true parent in the very likely event of a divorce. However, if you are one of those mothers who don’t KNOW they need to be a parent, or in case of an unplanned pregnancy, if you have to more force yourself to go through with it than to terminate, then you know your children likely belong to their father or neither of you, and they are born to you… basically to annoy you. They need the challenge or you need the challenge, or more likely both.

Years ago, I saw a documentary of an adopted child who had had a terrible start of life. That is when I allowed myself to think that in certain circumstances I would consider to adopt, not because I needed a child but because the child needed a mother.

I am a different kind of a mother – I know this from my spiritual exploration. I don’t want the ones that are not bond to me by my soul, and I have female soulmates that have been my nannies to keep my kids away from me when they were the wrong type… 🙂 I have had no guilt loving one over the other, and I still don’t. One of them, my son,  who is, in this life, a year older man than I am, I pamper to such extent that I am probably responsible for his drug habit in this life time! The modern way of having and raising children doesn’t tempt me at all. This is why I haven’t even considered having children in this life time, for the past few decades being a mother has been a full time job that I have never been cool with.

This is also interesting. When they say that “you haven’t met the right one yet”, as irritating as it sounds, there’s a certain logic behind it: When a child finds both of their parents are together, they will “knock on the door” saying it’s time to get to work! I had this experience myself: I had been together with a very close Trail Companion*, and I had the urge to have children for the first and only time in my life. I decided however, that I didn’t want children with him, and left him, sort of in a hurry to find a man I’d rather have children with. In a couple of weeks, the urge was gone, (I got a dog instead) but he went on and married another woman within 6 months and had a child almost as quick as humanly possible… Ironically, he named the kid with the name I had in mind. I believe the dude was his child primarily, but as I said we’re such close soulmates, that he would have accepted me as a mother for certain. In addition, within a year or two, I too got pregnant and aborted without a second thought. I had completely forgotten about the plan to have kids. (His kids have also made their way into the world through another route. 😉 )

The moral of this story is this: We do not have to give birth to children just because there’s a soul waiting to be born. They WILL find another family to take them in. If you truly want a child, it is safe for you to have one, but mind this: If you ever have had this thought about a poor parent: “I would love my own child no matter what!” You can rest assured your child is as close to unlovable to you as you can find. Smugness lands us in trouble; God will always give you a chance to prove yourself. (And no, you don’t have to take the gig.) If it is the right child on the way, you will feel that love for them before they are born, before you are even pregnant! And for all you childless people out there: you can adopt! You do not bond through genes but through the soul!

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