How intense True Mirror -type (True Emotion Mirror -type) feelings suddenly die

I had a mind-boggling experience with someone. I met them, there was tons of signs of a soul connection, including his name that I had had in my mind for the previous 2 years almost. He looked about right, birthdays and all of that. It wasn’t love at first sight on my part anyway, but soon I felt a deep connection to him, unlike I’ve ever felt with any actual boyfriend of mine. There was times that we were together, when I felt absolutely intoxicated by him, when he turned up my heart chakra went wild, even when I hadn’t missed him, and we would just hold each other for minutes without being able to let go.

There was a moment that I couldn’t help but repeating “I love you I love you I love you I love you” over and over again until I went breathless.

Right now, I feel nothing but friendship and appreciation, and a deep sense of “it’s over”.

Nothing happened to pin point that “this is where it changed”, although through all of it something bothered me about it, knowing it wasn’t quite right, even though I wanted to think it was. We broke up about every two weeks only to wind up back together again. But now, I think I simply gradually burned out the feelings.

I believe that in our previous lives we have been True Mirrors in the sense that we fit into each others lives perfectly although we weren’t in love exactly. We were in love with the fact we didn’t need to be in love, we simply used each other to fulfil our sexual fantasies that the other one fit perfectly into. It was this man that I was in love with, but in the most peculiar way – which made it a True Mirror bond.

Then feminism happened and changed him. He evolved. He started to care for his women and to want children and a family. All of it. And that is where I fell out of love.

When we met again, the feelings that could never have been expressed before, must have poured out, like a goodbye to a lover you know you will never meet again, because the lover you had is dying and another man is going to take his place. His authentic self has changed, evolved, become more well-rounded, where as my development was taking me to a whole different direction. There was a time when we were perfect for each other, but time had passed us and I need to find my other, still alive and burning True Mirrors – some of which I have spent so many life times that they span all the way to pre-historic times.

This is an example of a situation when a True Mirror is turned into a Partial Mirror due to the other one’s free will and new choices. He became a new version of himself, one that no longer fit with my way of being. The Authentic Self changes from true wishes alone, not by force, not by pretending to be a better person than you are, not by trying to decide what you should be instead of trying to find out who you actually are. We need to be happy with those changes, so happy, that you would rather live alone in your new way of being than return back to your old ways… Or the opposite way around; you decide that the new you wasn’t as good as the old one, and you decide to go back to the way you were, because that person was happier… I did that, too. I became the person I was at 17, or an improved version of the girl I was at 17. The one I missed, the one I lost… But regained.

Here’s to change.

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