How do you thank/forgive someone who meant well (by driving away your lover)?

I don’t know if you’ve ever been in a situation, where someone screws up your life for you while meaning well. Often a friend or family member can interfere in your affairs with an intent to help you out but end up ruining things instead. If this repeats and the person in question doesn’t even seem to be aware… Oh well, long story short, how do you find it in your heart to forgive someone that made a royal mess out of your life (ie. drove away your True Mirror) with their bid to do you a favour? How do you forgive such heart ache?

They meant well. They wanted to protect you. They saw you suffer and wanted to end that suffering the best way they knew how. They came to your aid when they thought you needed help, but they either weren’t welcome at all (to help) or they chose an entirely terrible way to help you. How do you forgive that? You know that the pain they caused was more than you ever would receive from your worst enemy but they meant well. It would even be easier to forgive an enemy, or at least move on from it, because they intended to hurt you, it’s understandable of them to stick it where it hurts – it makes human sense. But someone who loves you, and wants what is best for you, how could they be so blind as to ignore what you needed and so brutally, cruelly take matters into their own hands and take away the only thing you needed and wanted? Even if that relationship was painful, it was better than no relationship with them at all – as it so often is with True Emotion Mirrors . What if they did something for even a less of a reason, maybe they just didn’t think your True Love was good enough for you because they were a bit short or poor or whatever… “You’ll do better with someone else.” How do you forgive them for taking matters that are no concern of theirs in their own hands and proceed to fuck you over because they thought this would make you happy? Does it really matter what they intended, what if they want to “help” you again? Then what? Can you afford to give them such power over your life again that they might do this again in order to “protect you”?

A wise person would do away with friends and family like that. Just cut all ties and never talk to them again, because isn’t a 4-year old with no intention to hurt anyone with the loaded gun they are holding more worth escaping from than a full grown man who knows how to aim and shoot and shoot a deliberately chosen target is? (Yeah, okay you’d probably launch in to rescue the baby from shooting themselves but you know what I mean. 😉 )

But, after all, they intended to only protect you, but you got hurt to the core instead. They had poor judgement of the situation – which often is a result of hasty decisions and poor communication with you… But they meant well. Their heart was in the right place. Maybe the damage wasn’t even permanent, maybe your lover came back or will get back, but the wasted months or years or even decades… HOW CAN YOU REPLACE THEM WITH GOOD INTENTIONS?

They meant well.

What a weak consolation, that sounds like an excerpt from a Steven King novel, but it’s all we’ve got. There’s no “woopsie I broke a vase” about it, they burned your house down and even that can be replaced. I could forgive someone for setting my house on fire to prevent burglars for getting my stuff, but to drive away my True Mirror? That is a bad one. What if they had a selfish motivation in there too? “Chase the True Mirror away so we can have the good old days back.”

Is there any way to forgive them?

Could we put it in the past instead?

Was there anything positive that came out of the situation, and if there was, is it them you should thank for that silver lining or perhaps God or simple luck?

Do we have to forgive and forget? At least we have to get over it. Accept that you’ll never get the lost years back no matter how much you scream, shout and cry, wallowing in that is not going to bring them back but maybe, at least they’re not dead. (I freaking hope as I don’t know what you’re going through!) Lesson learned? Perhaps the only one you have to forgive is yourself for allowing this situation to arise in the first place or having trusted the wrong people.

Please discuss. What would you do, feel, advice? This one may prove too difficult for me, the only person I can see myself forgiving is myself for trusting them. I thought I was simply not a very trusting person, so I allowed in people who, although well-intentioned didn’t have the insight or understanding to help me and made matters much worse. Or did they? Maybe even that is an illusion, but if they aimed to help when everything seemed to go to hell in a hand basket and rather than back off they hurried to push it along faster despite me begging for them to stop. Should one forgive?

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