The Girl Chose You, not your friend!

You could have anyone you want. You could have anything  you want, but let’s talk about relationships for this one, because this is going to get painful, and it’s going to get painful fast.

All the girl’s eyes are on you. Your friend, your brother, your band member, even, not so flashy, not so famous. You feel like anywhere you go, you reap the benefits of fame, and whoever is standing beside you has to settle for the crumbs off your table. Some girls even pretend to be friends with your brother or friend only to get to you, some are not even hiding the fact. They are only interested in them because they think that way, they could get to you.

You leave the doors wide open for the girls to go choose your friend or brother, but they simply are not interested. You’re it. Your fame, your fortune, everything about you is titillating to them. And you hate yourself for it, you hate the women for it, and still, you wish you could shuffle one off to your friend who is dying in your shadow.

You think it’s because you’re famous.

It isn’t.

It’s because who you are, or at least because of the way you think.

The same thing would happen even if the girls didn’t know who you were. You are famous because you’ve got “star quality” and it is that star quality that draws people in – even if you weren’t rich nor famous. Guys like that draw girls in, and it is not their fame, it is the way they are, and the likelihood is that you know this has been the case your whole life, only, wherever you go, people have come to see YOU, making matters worse still… Even when it was your brother’s birthday, they’re secretly there to see you.

And you try and slink out of the picture, even when you are interested in the girl. Perhaps even more so if you are interested in her… You wouldn’t want to be the guy who lets his friends play only with his reject toys, now would you?

See where I’m going with this?

People are not yours to allocate around like they were goods. If they want you, they want you. You can say no if you’re not interested, but you can’t say:  “OK I would but my brother over there hasn’t had any since 2012”. They won’t need to give your brother a chance, nor your friend, they are not yours to choose for. Sure they are great people your loved ones, but people who are interested in a person who is rich and famous are a different type to those who are interested in his brother. And, you might not be interested in half of them and that is more than fine – the ones you want wouldn’t be right for your brother, and the ones you don’t want might not be right for him, either, but that is not for you to worry about.

Sadly, some of the very worthwhile girls who would be truly interested in and well suited for the rich and famous don’t want to be seen as the kind of person who would go for a rich famous guy… They’re better than that. (So if you see one who you are interested in who doesn’t seem to be into you… Just try your luck anyway… They may give you the cold shoulder because they don’t want to “feed your ego” but never mind that. That is their own ego screaming for enforcement. Yeeeah, I’ve been that girl…)

Now, let’s talk a bit more about your brothers, blood brothers or brothers by blood.

You love them. I know that. You want what is best for them. But…

If you think you have to leave them girls because they won’t have the balls or swagger to get their own, you’re disrespecting them as men and grown-ups. Also, you are pushing a role on them that they do not deserve.

Speaking from experience: I had a friend like that. I thought she could use all the help she could get. I went quite far with it actually, my disrespect for her, without saying a word, I let my boyfriends and their friends know/sense that should they expect to be in my good books, they should treat her with a level of friendship that she would feel loved by them – as a favor to me. I felt like I was being a good friend, but in reality, no good friend thinks that lowly of her friend, lowly enough to think that she needs my charity to get a guy to look at her for longer than two seconds. And, that is the vibe I put out to the men who might have been interested in her, too. MY OPINION of her went out there; when I thought in my mind that “no sane man would fuck her, I should know because I’m her best friend” they took my vibe for it and avoided her. In my defense, in her turn, she was thinking: “My friend is a cheater and she simply wants to have all the men to herself for her ego. No man should trust her.” I have cheated on one man during my entire life; I was 19, but she made up her mind; I was scum… And the men who loved me took her thought for it and avoided me like the plague. Needless to say, that “friendship” was not healthy.

Even when, in the back of your mind you’re thinking: “you really should give my brother a chance” while she’s talking to you, essentially you are giving her this feeling: “There is something wrong with his brother, he needs so much help for a woman to be interested in him…” She’s not going to be attracted to a guy who needs to be pushed in like a 12-year old at a high school dance.

To get over this is quite simple: Stop feeling guilty about your success with the ladies and go after them shamelessly. Let your brothers handle themselves. Make a competition out of it, playfully brag about it if you like – you wouldn’t want them to let you win, either, would you, little brother?

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