What if I told you that obesity isn’t a result of lack of self control?

You know what they say: You eat to suppress emotions, to deal with anxiety, with sadness, you eat to feel in control, to hide from sexual advances and that sort. What if I phrased it differently? Every time that you say “no” to something that you want to do or experience, you HAVE TO repay in another way. Food and treats are a good answer to that need, because they never hurt anyone but you (directly, or straight away, anyway). Every time your soul is being denied what it needs and wants, your body gets a dose of food into it as a repayment of what you tell yourself you cannot have.

The fatter you get, the more you start telling yourself that what you want is not for the likes of you but those other kind of people, people who were somehow born privileged. And you know what, I’m going to tell this to you, too. People who hate you for being fat don’t really hate you for being fat, subconsciously they hate you for not being happy, for denying yourself and for killing your soul that we all need to see and enjoy! You do not have the right to suffocate the person that you are, we deserve the chance to see who you really are – we, the world! We need you!

You know how people turn away from looking at you when you walk by them? They are not avoiding looking at your body, they avoid looking at your pain. They cannot stand looking at you the way that you are, and as they don’t know what to do about it, they simply want to pretend they didn’t see what they saw. Some take action and try to force you into being thin, but it is not going to help, because if you are required to give up on one more thing that gives you comfort, it’s simply going to turn you unhappier still. PLEASE for the love of God tell me what you want to experience. Tell me what you want so bad you do not dare to say it out loud! What is it that you are so ashamed to admit..? That you want to be loved by a man or a woman, in the romantic sense and that the love of your parents really, really doesn’t fucking cut it as a replacement! Tell me what it is that you are trying to make go away, if you still feel sad about having lost someone and you are telling yourself to get over it, don’t. There is no shame in missing someone so much you can’t breathe. And if, if you are afraid of losing the friends you’ve got because you don’t want them to think you are shallow for wanting to lose weight… Well… Sucks. If they love you for who you are, shouldn’t they love you thin, too?

And I am not trying to paint a picture of this sad fat girl who is stuffing her face alone crying watching The Wedding Planner over and over again, I am thinking someone putting on a happy face pretending everything is fine with her and nothing in this world bothers her – least of all her weight. You have the right to want to be thin, and the way the world works, the things that we want the most are usually the things that we struggle to have the  most. Why? Because we DENY wanting it. For long I denied wanting to be loved, I denied wanting fame, I denied wanting money… But I allowed myself something else – enough to avoid the fat trap… Although I just started making this awesome ice cream at home that has, I kid you not, 2000 calories in this relatively small tub… And yeah… I think it’s going to be my undoing and since I am a good person I will never, EVER reveal the recipe to anyone – I did tweak it myself so luckily you cannot find it for yourself ANYWHERE. 😀 (I’m going to have to have some – this is my TRUE WANT, I enjoy the actual treat, you know…) Fat people who truly love food are rarely unhappy about their weight, by the way. They see the weight as a testament for all those lovely moments spent gathering that weight… The rest of you… Not so lucky. I personally don’t care if someone wants to kill themselves with food as long as they love every bite, but the rest of you lot… If you’re not loving it, please tell me what you love… Truly. Whisper it… Write it down on a paper with the smallest print you can manage. Just out with it. Maybe I should address a thing or two myself – after I’ve finished that ice-cream.

On the other end of this same trouble is the fact that what we are consciously trying to avoid we are the most controlled by. If you try not to eat, the only thing on your mind will be eating. The more people remind you of the importance of minding your weight, the more conscious you’ll be about having to avoid eating and then winding up eating even more. People who are trying to help you are not helping… So while you’re subconsciously trying to avoid feeling that you need something in your life, you are consciously telling yourself to not eat. So all your focus goes into eating and not eating. Your emotional self says: “yeah, THAT you can have” and your rational self goes: “You can’t have that!” Does that make sense?

If it does, please just try and figure out what it is that you do want… Like, the same thing happens with drug addicts. They, on the other hand want to experience Heightened Emoteons. The society is trying to push them into a controlled, safe existence of work and family life and they’re like Yeah No. Don’t want that. I want Big Emoteons. So even if that feeling of high comes out of a drug, it’s better than not having it, and people are trying to convince them to stop doing drugs and then GO GET A JOB! It is ridiculous to think that a person who would want to experience excitement and passionate living could just quit doing drugs and exchange that with NOTHING BUT IDIOTIC MUNDANE SHITE from day to day, while listening to sermons about the dangers of relapse. Yeah fuck yeah, who wouldn’t sign up for some of that?! Same thing, if eating is your only joy in life, why on earth would you or should you stop? Don’t stop enjoying yourself, find new, more exciting ways to enjoy yourself. Not “better” in the sense of “ooh it has less calories!” but better in the sense of “Oh My God I Always Wanted To Try…”

Right?
For the sake of clarity: I am not a psychologist or a psychiatrist or a councilor of health. I am a spiritual teacher and I study the condition of people’s souls’ needs.

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