Imagine you’re a homeless guy. A man in a pristine suit walks up to you and hands over a bag full of money. “Million dollars.” He says. What do you do? Take the cash, thinking hey, groovy, nothing sus about this, or will you ask one question for every dollar he handed out to you demanding to know what the catch is and what is it that you need to do for that money. That is sensible, but good luck, love and cynicism don’t go together.

True Emotion Mirrors , to each other, no matter who they are, can feel like someone is handing out a gift WAY WAY WAY too good to be true. Haven’t we been conditioned to doubt good luck? If it seems too good to be true, it probably is? To convince someone that the girl or guy of their dreams is actually in love with them is like trying to convince a homeless guy to accept a million dollars and trust the stranger giving it to you. If you have something to lose, quite truly, too, when faced with a potential lover much too good to be true will quite easily make you think they are after your money what not, or that there is something seriously wrong with them… They’re a whore or a player or a cheat or… And you will start looking for proof of what is wrong with them; nobody that awesome would genuinely fall in love with you, right?

Cynicism kills love before love has been born

It’s a bit like love abortion. You stop it before it’s even been born. You talk yourself out of wanting to fall in love, you convince yourself that all your romantic wishes are foolish and that you totally don’t need anyone anyway. Or you figure you’re quite happy with just sex and that you don’t want anything from anyone at all.

Even if you’re generally quite hopeful about love and a self-esteem to kill for, when you are face to face with your True Emotion Mirror, someone who is everything you hoped for and then some, you will quite easily talk yourself out of the game before the game has even started. “Someone like him/her would not really go for someone like me… They could have anyone they wanted.” Sometimes simply meeting someone will make you give yourself a thousand excuses why you shouldn’t pursue the relationship.

And that is why the Universe organizes for you to meet your True Emotion Mirror while they are married; you have that one excuse that you need: they are married, and hopefully, you will decide to make friends with them instead… And then, break that marriage when you are ready. (Spirit doesn’t believe in the sanctity of marriage, but can take them into account while planning to reunite soulmates.)

True insecurities, love, and cynicism

Insecurities are many: Your inability to tell for sure whether someone loves you or not. Your existing belief that you are gullible and romantic beyond what is good for you. Your uncertainty of being able to know your own feelings (for instance due to having been through child abuse and being told by the psychiatrist that you are traumatized to the point of not knowing whether or not you are being abused or loved). Your uncertainty of knowing what you want; are you being led into believing you want someone or do you really want someone like that. Your uncertainty of knowing why anyone would love a person like you, and unwillingness to realistically compare yourself to others out of fear of being too self-assured, ie. narcissistic. (If you believe someone that hot could love you, doesn’t that mean you are a narcissistic, bad person?)

If, in addition to that, if you strongly believe you are somehow unlovable (have a history of addiction, were bullied as a kid, have no job or no money etc.) you figure that anyone as hot as your True Emotion Mirror that wants you is sick in the head… You will start fabricating explanations to why they might want you: “They think I’m rich, they know I know someone who they want to get closer to and they’re using me as a ladder, they must be a whore/player who sleeps with anyone at all, they are a sadist who simply want to see you fall in love and then stab you in the heart when you are at your most vulnerable…”

There is nothing worse than being gullible, right?

You wouldn’t want anyone to think you’re gullible, isn’t that right? Love and cynicism aside, love and ego are also a terrible combination if you want to experience true love. If you are still protecting your sense of who you are based on other’s opinion on you, you are quite likely to be more willing to convince yourself that you are being had than give it a chance and see if this is for real or not. When you will be more ashamed of trusting the wrong person than you would be appalled by their behavior once found out, you will quite easily tell yourself to not take that risk and see what this hottie wants out of you.

You can change your attitude about this part right now, maybe, if you realize that if someone lies to you and  you believe them, doesn’t make you gullible but respectful, and if someone abuses you for being respectful, they are the people who should be ashamed of themselves, not you. Besides, if someone goes into a relationship just to drop you cold, you will be getting the last laugh when you can shrug your shoulders and wonder how anyone could be that childish as to want to do that to a person. Why should you be afraid of being the laughing stock when someone else is being a miserable excuse for a human being, right?

Love and cynicism: How to fix it?

The better you know yourself, the better you will know what kind of risks in love are worth taking because you will know exactly what you are after and why, and what it is about you that someone else would love. You see, you only need to know what you are like, realistically speaking, you don’t have to learn how to be something else. If you know who you are realistically, you know what you are giving someone else, and if you are not good enough the way you are, you can shrug your shoulders and find someone who fits you better. You only need to worry about being criticized if you pretend to be something you are not and fail being convincing about it. If someone falls for you thinking you are something you are not, and you never spoken a word of a lie to them, then they made the mistake, not you.

I am not saying that there is anything wrong with you that you need to shield yourself from the moment that your next partner finds out what a disappointment you are, I’m just saying that if you are honest and realistic with others, you have nothing to lose. Everything you are is what you are, and someone noticing is not going to be a hit to your ego, you simply figure, well, I knew that already or “thanks for pointing that out, never noticed that before. Now I know myself a little better still.”

How do you figure out who you are then? Check out this post.

Remember there is only one way to lose with 100% certainty and that is by Not Playing.

Go play.

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