Poly-relationships: True Love or Just Simple Boredom?

Poly-relationships, whichever way you like them, polyandrous, polygynous, group marriage, committed, non-committed, equal, or unequal are all a way to make a lackluster relationship far more interesting in the long run. That is a fact, but not all poly-relationships are about the lack of true love but the opposite; the authentic state of an authentic group of True Emotion Mirrors , who refuse to live by the societal standards simply because  it is expected of them.¹

The way the different soulmate types feel about poly-relationships:

Trail Companions* : Let’s get someone else into this relationship to avoid being bored with each other.

True Emotion Mirrors : We are completely solid together. We will never part. We can love other people, too, because nothing will come between us, ever.

True Emotion Mirrors who are naturally polygamousORpolygynandrous CAN however be broken up in the pressure of monogamy and here is why: They are unable to choose between two or more equal True Emotion Mirror connections, and they will always be tempted to the other one when the intensity between one lowers a little bit. “Out of sight, out of mind” can apply surprisingly well to a Poly True Emotion Mirror because they fall in love with their True Emotion Mirror over and over, every time they look at them again. When there is more than one of these, they will fall in love with the other True Emotion Mirror at the sight of them, and if the first one isn’t around, it can feel as if they never existed. This also explains why even polygamousORpolygynandrous True Emotion Mirrors can spend an entire life with the one person, simply by avoiding meeting anyone else, or by being blinded by their first True Emotion Mirror completely so, that they can’t even see anyone else around them – even another True Emotion Mirror. However, SHOULD they come to eye-contact with another one… Resistance would be futile – they would cause problems. (Religions that require women to keep their eyes on the ground have noticed this.)

True Emotion Mirrors are completely and truly fulfilling to each other; this isn’t about filling up blanks that the first True Emotion Mirror leaves behind, it is about finding a completely different connection that fills up everything in them, leaving no lack, simply differently. To be fair, at the same time, once you DO know several of them, you will, when you start thinking about them, feel the lack or void they have left behind, but you wouldn’t know to miss them if you were with another True Emotion Mirror and if you didn’t know about the other(s), yet.

Even polygamousORpolygynandrous True Emotion Mirrors would be happy with just one

Trail Companions* in a polygamousORpolygynandrous relationship say that “you cannot expect one person to be everything to you” and therefore they feel that having several partners is the answer to this problem. True Emotion Mirrors do not feel that way. They feel that they cannot breathe without one or the other partner, and it is simply impossible to think a life without the other – impossible or at least inconceivably cruel. They feel each of their partners is an IRREPLACEABLE individual, and they can’t just count one partner is enough, because who could be replaced with another individual of the same gender, height, and hair colour, because this is a unique individual, not just the right type of genitals.

And yet, people who are interested in poly-relationships probably are that way naturally. However, I can sense so clearly talking to people in polygamousORpolygynandrous unions that they are so very often in a mismatch of people, gynophilists with androphiles, natural polyandrists in polygynous relationships, the Savants* mixed with the Normal Person* etc, disharmonious, forced, and desperate in other words. A lot of people who are interested in poly-relationships go at it thinking they will have to accept whoever is willing to accept that arrangement and they do not look for their authentic soulmates who would fall into it without thinking if they allowed themselves to.

True Emotion Mirror Poly-relationships are so much more than just a sexually stimulating union. True, they do get their kicks from it the same way as Trail Companions* do, but everything else is there, too; creativity, mutual goals and values, mutual wish to thrive toward the same goal, often professionally as well as personally. This relationship surpasses all others, including children, they may, should the society be open-minded enough to allow this, provide a solid base for children to grow, and unlike many Trail Companion* monogamous marriages, the children will not be forever tied to one of their parent who is hanging onto them for dear life because they cannot find a connection to their spouse and replace that relationship with the relationship to their child. (Monogamy and polygamyORpolygynandry² alike; the partners should form a unit, not mother and father but the parents, to whom that relationship is unpenetrable, complete, and the child is their mutual priority number one. Never in a way that the child forms a relationship with the mother making the father an outsider in his own relationship… The way it seems to be often. If such relationship cannot be achieved, children should not be born into that arrangement.)

This post is not about not believing in the possibility of monogamous, ever-lasting love. This is simply to say that artificially forcing oneself to monogamy is not romantic, it is cruel and short-sighted. And, at least, it’s about the call to agree to disagree if you cannot see the value of a polyrelationship yourself.

1. Explaining the phrase ‘simply because’: the Normal Person* Personalities are likely to think that ‘simply because’ in this context means rebellion for the sake of rebellion: the group refuses to be monogamous simply because it is expected of them. The Normal Person* will read this phrase as they will not live in a monogamous relationship for the simple, insufficient reason that it is expected of them, and that is what I personally mean by it. I decided not to rephrase because this is a beautiful example of how differently these two types think, and whenever there is a question of how I mean things, remember I am a Savants* Personality myself. ↩

2. Depending on context. Some time ago, I used the term polygamy to mean either the generic concept of polygamous marriage or a MM+FF+ -type marriage or poly-committed relationship. ↩

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