How to relax around your true love

So… I’ve talked a lot about how True Emotion Mirrors have to face their own insecurities when faced with each other, and how you need to know yourself and love yourself in order to be ready for a relationship, and then, somehow, I again answered my own problem: A spirit follower of mine, as opposed to a spirit guide, asked me how did I make all  the men fall in love with me so easily. (First objection; I don’t make them do anything, but let’s leave that one alone.) I thought about it for a moment, and then replied: “I let them be.”

Then it hit me: That only applied to the men I wasn’t that into, the ones who I simply liked, sort of, but the ones that I really wanted close, I froze around. Or, the other option, we’re all hot and bothered, but by the time the lights dim… Up come the freeze walls! The reason for such a sudden change of temperature was MY need to perform, and to be GOOD AT THIS. Infuriating! I hate to admit inadequacies in that area of life, but… This is what I also noticed; The guys with a reputation to uphold did the same! Any nationality with a reputation as a great lover… Yeah. Freeze. And I would follow suit. We’ll look great but feel nothing, no matter what the category of a soulmate would suggest.

At the same time, I could well relax and have fun with guys I wasn’t that serious about – even those fitting into the True Emotion Mirror category, but whom, for some reason, would seem like a one night stand sort of thing, so it wouldn’t matter if I put a foot wrong here and there. With one of them, I would have amazing sex with while he was drunk, but when the Sun came up and the booze wore off, he’d run out of the house and disappear until the next time he was drunk enough to give me a call.

The more you want to impress someone, the less relaxed you’re going to be around them – while reaping fans and admirers left and right when you’re not even trying.

So… I realized… In a vision, as per usual with my imaginary boyfriends and the not so imaginary – I realized that I had to LET THEM BE. Just  like I let the guys who I am  not so into just be themselves. Not that I ever consciously thought that OK, here comes the rule book and you must fit my standards, but I was constantly tensed up about myself and my own rule book and behavior so that I would make them feel awkward near me.

Sometimes the more we want to make a person feel welcome and wanted, the weirder it all becomes. Like, if you want to make someone feel at home, you don’t want to fuss around them serving them hand and foot, do you? Or, roles reversed, the last thing you need when you want to feel welcome somewhere is for them to be constantly vigilant about your every possible complaint or discomfort, right? You’d much rather have them just ignore your needs and tell you that if you need something, you go get it yourself. (Granted, I always hated those invitations, too, because in reality you never really want to go dig into someone else’s fridge no matter how much you like them.) But… You get the idea. If you want someone to move in with you, they will have to feel comfortable washing their clothes in your washing machine for instance, and digging into your fridge, and filling it, too. “You don’t have to do that” is not the right phrase to use to someone who wants to make himself or herself home, is it?

Just let him be. Just let her do it. Just think of your most comfortable relationships and notice how you interact. You just come home to them, and you can kick off your shoes, stretch your legs onto the living room table and crack open a beer, right?

The reason why we then, unwittingly, send the signal of love and interest to those who we are not that into, is exactly because we simply let them be. We are not trying to impress them, we simply are – because of the people we are (this is especially true for Enigmas).

As confusing as these relationships are, I have never yet found the core reason nor the solution to a physical world relationship problem to be in the non-spiritual realm, although connecting to it helps… (Conditions apply.)

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