How do you choose your poly-poison?

I have been thinking about something: In my experience, people tend to always choose the opposite of what they actually want, thinking that they are doing someone a favor by being selfless or because they feel that the counter-intuitive approach must be the “right” one, because why would anyone do *that* unless it was the road to happiness, right? So this thinking pattern starts from the assumption that we are all exactly alike and we all want the same thing and the same thing will make us all happy.

Polyandrists have at least gone from the monogamy and polygyny to realizing that neither of those popular options work for them. But if you’re anything like me, initially when I thought about polyandrous relationships in my early 20’s, I thought I would be selfish if I went there, because, to me, it was obvious that if I wanted to have several men, my men would also have several girlfriends, but I didn’t want that – I wanted them for myself, and couldn’t understand why any guy would share a girl, I should simply stick with monogamy.

Now, I figure that if a guy truly, deep down, wants a polygynous relationship, he might think that “well, that would be selfish of me, and what woman would want that, so instead of trying to get several wives, I will compromise, I’ll try and become the other guy for a woman who would be very happy about this, after all, that would be more interesting than monogamy.” At the same time, I feel there’s a lot of women who have gone into a polyandrous relationship because it makes sense that “I should love this”, when in fact, she doesn’t, but misses another wife or several, and would gladly do away with the extra husbands. She may also think it as a slight payback to the men who have been sleeping around on her before, so she feels she can now get back at men by requiring loyalty from them while, she, herself, is free to sleep around on her turn.

Therefore, I sense a lot of polyandrous relationships are about deeply buried hatred of men, as well as the man’s need to repay for the sins of his entire gender by allowing this woman to do whatever she wants, rather than love for the male gender as I (personally) feel it should be. I feel that due to a lot of history where subconsciously polygynous women have been subjected to marriages to heterosexual polyandrous men, women have grown to believe that it is natural for women to not want sex with men, or to find them something that they MUST have or endure, rather than the luxury a truly heterosexual woman thinks they are, and, perhaps, such a woman thinks she will do a favor to other women by taking on several men at the same time and “keep them off the streets” and “take one more for the team (of fellow women)”.

I also feel like men fear that the woman, unless sexually dominant, is being taken advantage by her men; turned into a whore, and they can’t understand why any woman would want that. However, to a sexually submissive polyandrous woman… Wow. Who WOULDN’T want that and be loved for the fact she can’t keep her knees together! 😀 So I fear that a lot of men take a wife who is reluctant to be in the center, and who the men don’t really respect but who they can let themselves go with – to an extent – because they feel like this one is… expendable, but who would never do the same to the woman they REALLY truly love, even if, I believe, one of the reasons why they love her is because they sense her for what she is; the rightful center.

This is why I feel that a lot of relationships fail, because people fear being honest with their true wishes thinking that nobody wants what they want and they’d be selfish or even cruel going after what they want. Female submission, in general, is a bit of a social taboo because people are afraid for women in general, when you add polyandry the framework, you’re not winning a lot of applause, are you? And yet, I feel sexually oppressed in many ways because I am sexually submissive polyandrist, who is absolutely and utterly in love with the entire male gender, because other women tend to simply want me to grab a whip rather than let the men take charge, because that is what all women are expected to do these days.

Do I make any sense?

Subscribe to get a Daily Message